[Rive1976]

Is being extremely afraid of death normal? My fear is not existing anymore or becoming a ghost and having people like my family living while i am dead.

[Teddy Bear]

I think some fear of death is normal. I think it's there to prevent us from doing stupid stuff

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Is being extremely afraid of death normal? My fear is not existing anymore or becoming a ghost and having people like my family living while i am dead.

I don't think there's a "normal" when it comes to whether or not people fear death. I think people feel a whole range of fear/no fear when it comes to death. The same goes for life. Some people fear truly living; some do not and there's a whole range in between.


WC

[mote.of.soul]

Hello. I think being afraid of death is normal, sure, but I hardly ever hear people say they are 'extremely' afraid of death. The best I can suggest is simply not to think about it. Also, I'd just like to say, death is very normal - as normal, natural, as being born. It's just part of nature, that's all. We all cross that bridge eventually. Doesn't bother me.

[Rive1976]

Well im scared of no afterlife.

[Unrigged64072835]

When I was younger I was so scared of death that I had insomnia because I feared I wouldn't wake up. Now that I'm middle-aged and getting closer to actually dying it doesn't bother me as much. All I can do is build up some legacy to go on when I'm not around anymore. My own personal beliefs also help with that.

[Rive1976]

I think people who believe in a afterlife dont fear it. I also believe that they just suppress that fear and say they believe in a afterlife but if they were on their deathbed they would be afraid.

[Hairball]

What helps me alot is reading christian/nonchristian perspectives on near death experiences. I find it fascinating and it gives me hope.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Is being extremely afraid of death normal? My fear is not existing anymore or becoming a ghost and having people like my family living while i am dead.

Fear of death is universal and our pathetic/heroic attempts to overcome that fear informs the kind of collective behaviour that we create in order to live without going mad.

We’re born out of nothingness and we develop a conscious which can’t conceive of the nothingness to which we’ll return. Of course you have an overwhelming fear of ‘not existing anymore;’ that’s what death brings, an end of existence.

If you’d like to read some of the ways that others combat this fear, I would suggest reading Becker’s The Denial of Death and gathering some information about Terror Management Theory.

I dismiss the ghost fear straightaway because I don’t believe in ‘spirits’ of any kind.

We exist. We did not and we will not and that creates an awesome fear.

[Rive1976]

It used to give mehope too until i read just as many peopledie and theres nothing as those who say they had a near death experience and saw something.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Well im scared of no afterlife.

Of course you are!

I think that I can say with a high degree of certainty that there is no afterlife. Again, the idea of returning to nothingness is unthinkable. Most gods-myths have afterlives weaved into the narrative. Most people have a degree of faith which frees them from this fear.

Faith, I think, is the inability to accept reason. Faith consists of the lies that we believe.

If you’ve experienced panic attacks then you know of the fear of death. My experience has been that that fear is so far greater than the feelings one has whilst having, e.g., an actual heart attack.

Dying sucks.

[Rive1976]

You dontbelieve we return to nothingness?

[Marla500]

Originally Posted by amicus_curiae

Of course you are!

I think that I can say with a high degree of certainty that there is no afterlife.

Faith, I think, is the inability to accept reason. Faith consists of the lies that we believe.

You are entitled to your opinion without being told you are believing lies or that you cannot accept reason. Everyone else deserves the same respect whether you agree or not.

[AnnaBettina]

This is what I try to do and hope it will be of some help to you.

Death, the possibility of total disintegration of all we are,
that with death we enter into a pure state of nothingness. Of being only one day a name in a census record. All that we are right now one day being nothing but a name in that record.
More concerned about that possibility for the children and people I love,
for humanity in general. It makes me cry. Hard, so very hard indeed for me to live with that possibility. So, to survive...

Imo, that's what happens when the human animal brain gets stuck on only what it can perceive. Human animal brain...most people have trouble spelling, and we think we are so very intelligent...!...the big brained guys on the block when you compare us to the other denizens of this planet...the chimp, the caterpillar, etc. Nothing against those noble life forms but I think it helps to prevent us from getting too big for our pants, keeps us from thinking we are this highly advanced species in this most profound universe...ha! Heck, we can't even cure Lupus, MS, Parkinsons, Cancer, the common cold, the list goes on and on...no, we aren't supreme, haven't even begun to step on the periphery of understanding creation, black holes, string theory, and again the list goes on and on. Even the perceptions of Einstein and Hawkings...still perceptions coming through the limited human animal brain...perceptions coming before or after a turd. No offense, just pointing out that our bodies, just like our brains, are animal (not vegetable, not mineral, but animal).

There is a video which helps explain this...perceiving reality.com, I think it is. How all of our "knowledge" is based on the ability of the limited human....animal...brain. In other words, I keep my focus on this fact and that tells me that there is no doubt much more to it all than death of the physical. To just ending up as that census name. I should add that I once was a secular nun.

Going through this "existential" depression, I see now that my greatest fear isn't this possibility of "nothingness"....only a possibility when you look at life through the eyes of human animal ones. No, my greatest fear is us, the hoomans who often do the most cruel and unspeakable things. Getting older, it's the human animal species I most fear...and I shudder to think I belong to this species, and so I try (fail often but try) to be more than what I see in other humans.

Enjoy the ride and expect the unexpected when your ride is over. Expect the unexpected in this mind blowing universes within universe. And esp trust that we live in a benefic universe despite how bleak it sometimes appears on planet earth (it is a planet, you know...think, think about it).

Originally Posted by Dnester

Is being extremely afraid of death normal? My fear is not existing anymore or becoming a ghost and having people like my family living while i am dead.

[tz90]

We're all animals for sure. I wouldn't stop at animals though. What makes sense is that everyone and everything is the universe.

I wouldn't equate death with the end of existence. You know yourself that you exist and you will always exist at this time and moment, even after death in the future. I don't think there is an afterlife either, but it's ok, because organic life dies all the time and life still continues to exist.

We can observe and explore the universe as long as we are conscious and it's difficult to let go of it. I agree that we don't know much and we probably never will. Our minds are amazing already, just think how it is capable to assemble a reality in your head from your senses. But I don't believe in myself making any discoveries. Our minds are very limited. We cannot even imagine a room with more than three dimensions. On top of that, the minds of many on here including mine seems to be preoccupied with worries, anxiety and depression.

[Rive1976]

Yes but isnt that utterly terrifying not existing that is. Eveybody goes on but you are in the ground. You dont experience anything anymore just like before you were born. Scares me greatly.

[Angelique67]

When I start getting too freaked out about death and other frightening things, this song helps me.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Yes but isnt that utterly terrifying not existing that is. Eveybody goes on but you are in the ground. You dont experience anything anymore just like before you were born. Scares me greatly.

That’s the terror, isn’t it? I really like Becker’s ‘immortality project’ idea. You are and to not be is incomprehensible, right?

I wouldn’t worry about being worm food - you’ll be long extinguished by then.

[Rive1976]

Thank you. I mean some people are ok with there being no afterlife. They say it will be like before we were born. They said that to comfort me but it does not.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Marla500

You are entitled to your opinion without being told you are believing lies or that you cannot accept reason. Everyone else deserves the same respect whether you agree or not.

Whether I agree or not with whom?

I don’t think that I’ve ever suggested that I’m not entitled to my opinion. I do remember all the lies that I was told and the lack of any interest in reasoning in order to win a particular argument.

I have no faith in supernatural myths. And, yes, some very convoluted falsehoods were presented to me as twisted truths. I’m a contrarian, I know, maybe an outcast. I’m not a spiritualist of any stripe.

Do others deserve respect for believing in Mithras, worshipping Mithras, living and dying for Mithras?

And then there are so many myths so much closer to us.

I will say that I don’t believe that it’s necessary to accept spiritualism to tamp down one’s fear of death. I’ve not been convinced that any spirit will exit my body when I die to live on in some sort of happy fairy garden.

Inevitably, spiritualism comes up when discussing death and fear of death. I think that it’s best to step away from myths and accept the finality of death.

My mother died when I was aged four. I was confused. My father told me that death meant that she would never return. I don’t recall anyone speaking of a ‘better place,’ or heaven. My dad was right — she never returned.

And that’s what happens, that’s nature, life. Someone, one of the late-night hosts, said this week that he was not aware of the existence of pre-existing, cognitive, pre-embryos. We are the happy accidents of friction and we are born from nothingness, we live, and we return to nothingness at death.

If others believe in myths, I feel bound to disagree.

Are you familiar with Bertrand Russell’s celestial tea pot? It is just as probable as an afterlife.

***by jingo, buy American***

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Thank you. I mean some people are ok with there being no afterlife. They say it will be like before we were born. They said that to comfort me but it does not.

I’m okay with no afterlife — I am more firmly convinced that there is no life beyond death than convinced of an afterlife.

No, death won’t ‘be’ like anything: There’s no ‘being’ before birth, nor after death.

Yes, heaven, the better place, a celestial soul ring, all of the myths that seek to comfort; all spun to alleviate the fears of death. Those are the myths that we’re told.

[-jimi-]

I used to think fear of death was just existential and normal. Then I realized normal is to actually have a lot of filters I don't have. People don't seem to hear sounds I hear, see things I do like details, they just live in their own happy bubble. Living in that bubble, is normal. Not thinking of your own passing, is normal. Strong fear is not life saving, it is life poisoning and crippling. Not normal. It is just the same as other panic and anxiety stuff, it is abnormal and it can be treated with meds. You'd say but death is real, so you shouldn't treat feelings about it. Well if you are hit by a car and break bones, the car is real, so you shouldn't have pain meds?

I don't believe in an afterlife and it really messes me up sometimes because I am one of those who need a belief in it. It's a quite hard life sometimes and it does create extra anxiety, more than I normally have. There are tricks to break the cycle of thinking about it. There are comforting things you can think about. I also use that stuff. And medication, because I'm quite a sensitive person.

There is something in my mind that just decided against an afterlife. I have seen a lot of evidence of an afterlife and I still don't believe in it. It is like I'm just programmed like this. There is probably something pathological about that as well, like I need 100 % proof before I can believe in something. Usually people believe in things (less serious things as well) with loads less proof.

Anyway, I feel your pain. I know what used to help me the most when I was a kid and got freaked out by this, was talking with others, the few I had that were OK with the subject. Maybe you also feel a little better connecting with others over it. Take care.

Originally Posted by Dnester

I think people who believe in a afterlife dont fear it. I also believe that they just suppress that fear and say they believe in a afterlife but if they were on their deathbed they would be afraid.

I'm one of those people who believe in an afterlife, and from my point of view, I think you have a point.

I don't fear death (because like you're getting at, because of my belief in an afterlife), I do fear not being able to enjoy the things I am doing now because of death

breathing air, listening to music, etc etc

things we take for granted now, but one day will be gone

I also like the lion king

and like mufasa says

we all must play our part in the circle of life

and that comforts me knowing i've done my bit

[AnnaBettina]

Yes, ty. Ty.

Originally Posted by Angelique67

When I start getting too freaked out about death and other frightening things, this song helps me.