Something is making me either Procrastinate or Completely Avoid things.

I either Procrastinate or Avoid doing things. Simple things, like checking email, paying rent (even when I have the money), homework, studying. I do the same to things that I LOVE doing. Eg: 1) I procrastinate doing Homework until the last hour but I love it when I'm doing it. 2) I procrastinate studying for a class but when I finally do I REALLY enjoy it.

This might sound like an easy problem to get over, but it is not. I'm 24 now and I've been trying to not do this since I was 13. The issue is that thinking about these tasks gives me this sad/gloomy/ feeling as if I will absolutely die if I start doing the task. But when I start doing that same exact task, I absolutely love it. It is as if my mind has made HARDCORE NO-NO association towards all the tasks that my life requires me to do. One Phrase: Bad Association towards everything!. Another way to put it is maybe my mind is just so scared of the outcome of everything that it forces me not to do it. Right after forcing myself to do something (which is harder than enduring the pain of broken bone for me) I realize that I absolutely love doing it and start to think "Why the heck were you procrastinating you, idiot!".

My other characteristics:

When something bad happens in life, I cannot think of anything other than that. It has come to a point where my mind keeps repeating it over and over again and I can not help it. The problem is that even though I suffer thinking about it, I cannot take steps to fix it because thinking about what I need to do scares me to death. I can't even get out of bed in those situations.

I have a perfection or nothing attitude.

Every exam, every project, every presentation that I have completed in my life, I have prepared for them at the last minute.

Bottom Line: My main issue is that I procrastinate or completely refrain from doing things. It is as if something scares me or I have a REALLY bad association in my mind about everything. But if I start doing it, I feel relieved and enjoy doing it. You can summarize my problem as: Starting Trouble from HELL!!

Please tell me what I'm suffering from. I know you might not proessionals, but I now that you know about Psychology and Psychiatry more than me! I already have a psychologist and a psychiatrist, but I want to see if you people have seen/heard anything like this and what you think it might be.

Thanks each and every one of you. I really mean it, thaks a ton.

Hello amirage: I believe this to be your first posted thread here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry I'm not really able to tell you what is causing your procrastination. Hopefully there will be some other members, here on PC, who will have some thoughts they can share. However here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives on the subject:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/learn-a...ocrastination/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/getting...ocrastination/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-good...ocrastination/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-p...sts_position=0

https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to...ination/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-sim...ocrastination/

Hey Skeezyks,

Thanks so much for the resources. I really appreciate it.

I have seen a small improvement in how I handle things now. Although I really can improve a lot, working on it.

I am using some smartphone apps that remind me to do chores, Homework, and even mundane things like Breakfast, Lunch, Sleep etc. Hoping to continue the good habit of getting things done in a timely fashion.

Again, Thanks a ton for the resources and support.

What kind of support did/do you have (from your family or whoever) for doing these things?

You dont need to answer here, but it might be something to think about.

Wow, Amirage,
You could have been describing me.
I too feel that I want perfection in everything I do, but, of course, because I have procrastinated for so long, and done all the work at the last minute in a rush, and often when I am tired because I have been working all night to meet the deadline, my work is second rate. So I feel bad about myself for not achieving my potential.
I too quite enjoy the execution of the task, once I have started the work; but getting started is awful. I just cannot focus my brain and my thoughts ricochet off the target and onto some stupid fantasy that that brain has been inventing. – (You didn’t mention that. Perhaps that is a difference between us.)
In my fantasies I actually like myself, I am proud of myself (rather than ashamed). So my fantasies are a nicer place to be than in the real life task in front of me. So, to drag my attention from fantasy back to reality is very difficult.
“Please tell me what I'm suffering from. “
I don’t know any better than you do; but my guess is, ‘depression’.

((((arimage)))) I can relate to your struggles. I procrastinate a lot as well (although I don't actually enjoy what I'm doing). I'm glad you're doing a bit better now. What does your psychologist have to say about this?