One step at a time I keep telling myself. One breath. One thought... and then everything spirals into crisis.

I posted in general for anyone who wants to know whats going on.

I Hate This.

With Capital Letters.

*sigh*

taking that breath with you... so that you know I am here...

Thank you for your reply freewill. Good to know I have company in my spirallyness.

[Kiya]

how are you doing out there?

it always amazes me that that one breath that is supposed to calm ends up spiraling into out of control-ness. i thought it was just me. clearly it isn't.

my new mantra is "people don't want to hurt me - they just want stuff and i happen to be here." the weekend will be the test. I'll be breathing with you, too.

we... are all breathing.... yes.. all this coming up week.. it will be.. concentrate... breathe... breathe...breathe...

((((kiya and freewill))))

Thanks for your words, both of you.

[Perna]

Keep us up to date on the lovely, thoughtful, helpful super and the ex who can't get his act together enough to be useful so you don't have to worry so much.

Find and call your local SPCA and see if they have a foster home volunteer that can take your kitties until you are in a better place: http://www.spca.com/ or search for other no-kill shelters/rescue places near you.

Do you have any clothes or furniture that you can give away or sell at a consignment shop? You won't need your regular clothes for a couple months :-) I'd see if I couldn't raise a little money with some things or get some given away so they don't have to be packed and moved or stored? http://resale.net/

(((everyone)))))

LOL Perna. Your description of the super and ex really are exactly how my sarcastic thoughts run. That made me smile.

I may (MAY) be ok. Mom said she is going to see if she has the money for me today. She is going to the bank to find out for sure. I feel really bad in having to ask her, and I SWEAR if the ex doesn't pay her back, I will... Do something undeterminable but I will figure something out.

I battled the vaccum today and fixed it with nothing but a knife to get the screws out and a broom handle, so I am feeling alot better for the moment. A little bit of good to my day anyways. I am making it. I am not freaking out - AS MUCH.. I think I am always freaking out a little.. but a wee bit more settled.

[Perna]

Way to go with the vacuum! We had "yard waste" pickup today at 8:00 a.m. and I had to get up and battle the tomato plants at 7:30, cut the strings holding them to the fence and yank them up by the roots and try to cram them into a couple garbage bags (just in time; the pickup guys came by my house only about 15 minutes after I "finished". I'll have to gradually put the rest of the stuff I wanted carted off in the regular garbage if I can, a little each pickup so they don't get pissed and refuse to take them.