[dimlyFourOwls]

Hi everyone. I do not get panic attacks as is common, but I have a general sense of restlessness that I cannot focus on things unless they really engage me, and most things do not, so I have to get up and pace back and forth frequently, either outside or in my room. I am on disability leave from work now so I am at home a lot. How I get out of the house: errands (few times a week) or the gym (every day) or tennis (once a week).

I am a chain vaper. That means I use an electronic cigarette very frequently, multiple puffs in a row. In fact, during my leave, I have been doing it nonstop unless I am doing something else (see out of the house section above). Even when I go to restaurants with my family, I will take "breaks" to go outside and vape.

Nicotine is a stimulant, so I am wondering if I should quit?

Complications: There are so many other factors going on right now that I need to change only one variable at a time in order to know what causes what. I am currently weaning off another substance that I can talk about if you think it's important, as well as adjusting my medications (but only one thing at a time). So, the nicotine really is the lowest priority on my list, as it is not as strong as the other variables that are at play.

Why I vape: It is soothing and brings me comfort.

How I started: Was offered a cig in a psych ward out of the country (long story) and accepted, as having nothing to lose (down and out). Smoked for two years before I switched to vaping as I perceive it as being less dangerous health-wise.

My plan for quitting, when the time comes, is to taper in 0 mg/mL nicotine e-juice into my dose of vape, very slowly, as nicotine is addictive and it will take time. I feel that that should work. This will be after the other variables I mentioned clear out.

I have also been drinking a lot of decaf coffee lately to deal with the cravings I get when I am restless/anxious. It is soothing but doesn't last very long. I have tried herbal teas, chamomile supplements, lemon balm supplements, and valerian supplements, and none of those work for me. Is drinking a lot of decaf a bad thing other than the dehydration?

Just looking for feedback on how I should be handling my cravings, given that satisfying them soothes my restlessness, albeit temporarily.

I have heard a lot of recommendations for panic/anxiety that include breathing exercises, holding on to something, etc. I can't for the life of me force myself to do breathing exercises, and technically I am holding on to something when I grab my vape. That might be part of why it works. Point is, I've not found most advice for dealing with generalized anxiety very useful.

Thank you for your feedback.

[dimlyFourOwls]

The restlessness is just unbearable. I don't like doing anything and I only find pleasure from drinking decaf, and the moments are so short. I pace back and forth vaping all the time and can't do anything productive or fun. This is just miserable.

[Unrigged64072835]

Are you feeling these cravings after you take your meds, or is it all the time?

The reason I ask is when I was taking another med, about an hour or two after I took it I was really restless.

Also "decaf" can contain up to 10mg of caffeine, so drinking a lot of it can be an issue.

[dimlyFourOwls]

The cravings come and go. Sometimes they're actual cravings. Sometimes it's not cravings per se, but I know the only way for a moment of solace is a cup of decaf. I haven't found any correlation between my medication schedule and my "cravings". The restlessness usually starts around noon and lasts the rest of the day. I take my night-time dose of risperdal (antipsychotic) at 9 pm and my morning dose as soon as I wake up (10:30 am).

Now that I see this in writing, I suppose it could be possible that the risperdal is making me anxious in the morning.

How long did your restlessness last after taking your medication? Which medication was it?

I've read from multiple sources that decaf contains 97% less caffeine than regular coffee. So you'd need to drink 33 dups to get the caffeine intake of one regular cup. It also varies by brand.

[dimlyFourOwls]

Ups, I spelled cups dups. Whups.

[dimlyFourOwls]

Okay I did some research and studies have found that anxiety CAN be a side effect of risperdal. My psychiatrist never told me. God I don't trust that guy.

We're going to start tapering me off risperdal slowly as my psychosis is improving, to mitigate the anxiety.

Just an update.

[dimlyFourOwls]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Are you feeling these cravings after you take your meds, or is it all the time?

The reason I ask is when I was taking another med, about an hour or two after I took it I was really restless.

Also "decaf" can contain up to 10mg of caffeine, so drinking a lot of it can be an issue.

Fharraige, you have good intuition!

[dimlyFourOwls]

The anxiety is better now that I am on a lower dose of risperidone, I am not pacing back and forth in my room all the time anymore. But I still can't feel at home when I'm at home, or comfortable ANYWHERE. I go back to work in a week and a half. I'm hoping staying busy there will be good for me. i don't know how I'm going to get over the mind-racking tedium of some of the tasks there, though.

I caved in and had three teaspoons of kratom today. Not a high dose by any standards. But I feel so much better now. I'm still getting psychic pain spikes either from nowhere or my family members, even when there's no argument in the room and things appear normal. And I can't really do anything productive at home or work on anything or enjoy books, games, or anything really. So I think this is far from over. I was supposed to be decreasing my dose of kratom steadily, but deep down I think my psychiatrist is full of ****, and the side-effects of the antipsychotic prove it.

[dimlyFourOwls]

Now the only question is if I go through withdrawal (I don't plan on using three teaspoons a day, I'm scared I will develop a tolerance again), and do I tell my mother that I caved. She gets so pissy whenever I tell her the damn truth, plain and simple, that I am suffering from psychotic symptoms. She's "trying to help me" but she's so painful to talk to about it, I try whenever I can just to avoid it, which isn't good. I need an open candid conversation about my symptoms. i can't even have that with my psychiatrist, he just glosses over things and makes premature conclusions and lumps me into a DSM category and doses like the pill robot he is. A conservative pill robot, I must admit (credit to him or just as stupid as the rest?). No I'm kidding. I'm sure there's at least one decent psychiatrist on the planet. Maybe.

[dimlyFourOwls]

FYI I was on less than two teaspoons a day for over a month now. Until today.

So many people use and no report of problems from them. What gives.