[amicus_curiae]

I just had to brag.

I’ve not spent more than 15 minutes outside of my apartment for the past 4-5 years; anxiety and phobias.

Yesterday, I went outside and sat under the massive portico of my apartment building. Within an hour I became deeply involved in a conversation with one of our brighter tenants —> flaky, but very, very bright. She is an even longer-term tenant than me and we’ve known one another for years but this was our first six-hour convo!

I didn’t go out today but I’m prepping for tomorrow — picking out my clothing. I’m not certain if I’ll go more subdued Cuban camp shirt (with loop collar) or loud Hawaiian!

Decisions to be made.

[Unrigged64072835]

Woohoo! Good for you!

I can barely go out of my house to retrieve the trash can. Now I have a challenge.

[notz]

Good for you for venturing out!

[Sunflower123]

Yay!!! Congratulations!!!

[seeker33]

That's absolutely great Amicus!!! Maybe you'll have a new friend!

[amicus_curiae]

Wow. I was out at 9:30 a.m. until 3:05 p.m. today. A few of the ‘old’ friends cried and hugged me for just being outside. And I got into political arguments with one new friend.

I don’t know how I’m doing this. My fourth day of going outside.

I just want cigarette so badly!

[Bill3]

Well done!!

[Gus1234U]

i, too, am practically home-bound by agoraphobia, so i know what a HUGE accomplishment this is~! i hope the agora has gone into remission, and you have your parole~!

[88Butterfly88]

Great job!

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

So glad you were rewarded by meeting a nice person. Well done!

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

i, too, am practically home-bound by agoraphobia, so i know what a HUGE accomplishment this is~! i hope the agora has gone into remission, and you have your parole~!

Medical emergencies, now that I’ve had a few days to take this all in, helped me to do what my shrinks and Ts’ have been telling me for years — just go outside.

The medical emergencies? Since January, I’ve been passing out and landing face-down on the floor. I broke a bit of my left zygomatic bone one week and the next week shattered part the left zygomatic bone, again, and drove bits ‘frontal bone’ into my brain. I had a nice long hospital stay. Test after test, too many blood pressure meds, etc. when I told them that I laid in bed 23 ½ hours per day my diagnosis was Prolonged Bed Rest.

That was my motivation, I believe.

I’ve been meeting so many new people and reconnecting with old friends and neighbors. Haven’t blacked out this week. I’ve had more hugs and cheek-kisses this week than ever before.

And, naturally, I’m feeling cocky about it all — it feels like someone gave me greater powers than Superman. Our giant portico (you can drive 18-wheel Mack trucks through it, with four trucks being able to pass at the same time) is usually cool and breezy and the adjoining automatic doors are the only points of entry and egress.

I’m blubbering like a fool. I am simply amazed that I bought so many clothes with the intention of going outside... but I just had to do it because I don’t want my head shaved again.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my jumping up and down message; I feel good now. A little manic, yeah, but that could be from drinking tumbler after tumbler after tumbler of a rich, dark-roast Sumatra Mandheling with espresso chasers.

Oh, I really hope that it’s gone for good, too.

Damn, but I feel great!

[seeker33]

Way to go! :-)

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

You deserve this. Why shouldn't you have this? This has put a big smile on my face.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

You deserve this. Why shouldn't you have this? This has put a big smile on my face.

Oh, I’m grinning like an idiot and laughing like a fool!

As I’ve seen so little sunlight during this past 4-5 years, I had a friend buy sunglasses for me yesterday. So much has changed! Example: There seem to be more white trucks and automobiles these days — and looking at them was blinding me! And fewer red automobiles?

I’m like a myopic boy with his first pair of glasses, marveling at leafs and billboards. Talk about seeing things in a whole new light!

I am absolutely gaga to be talking again! This — PsychCentral — has been my only contact with real people for some time. Now, I’m arguing politics and religion and the price of soda with live people whom I can look in the eye!

Still, I need to be wary of mania. This, though, doesn’t feel like mania. Can I tell you what I feel?

Happy. I feel happy.

For almost 5-years I was afraid. Now it’s time to be happy for almost 5-years. And I’ll not curse the Sun for being too hot nor curse the clouds for bringing rain and snow. I shall never grow so old again.

Smile. Everyone. Smile.

[notz]

I'm glad for you! Suntan lotion is next?