[JewelQueen]

Hello friends...

I used to have a profile here, but forgot my account info... I hope the admins don't penaltize me for making a second profile. I really need support.

I've had obsessive thoughts since I was 7. I also have anxiety attacks. What really plagues my daily life though is my extreme...let's call it fatalism, which is probably fed by OCD and anxiety. Every waking second, when something happens in my life, I always play the absolute worst case scenarios in my head. And I mean THE WORST, like horror-movie plot grade.

For example,

Possible trigger:

if I've recently broken up with someone (who was non-violent, gave me no signs to worry etc), I dread that he could snap and, in a vengeful fit, burn my house down while me and my family are in there. Or throw acid on my face to punish me. Or hurt someone I love in a horrible way.

Or if a friend of mine complains that her new guy friend is kinda stalkish and jealous, I suddenly imagine how he could've hacked her phone, and is now listening to our conversations and knows where I live and will come to my house to threaten me, because I've told her to ditch him...

See where I'm going? Thank the Lord, nobody has ever done such things to me, but I am actively petrified by the idea. I also get really, really anxious when someone says "You attract the things you think of the most", because I mostly think about scary, gruesome things.

Also, for some reason I'm afraid of men. All of the men in my life (including my dad) were chill, good people, and yet I constantly am afraid that some day one of them will turn on me, do something horrible, like the things that pop up in the news.

I am really scared of my own mind. Sometimes I confuse it with a gut feeling and I think... what if I'm right? I don't want to attract those things. Can anyone help?

[Skeezyks]

Hello JewelQueen: I noticed this is your first post (in your new account) here on PC. So... welcome (back) to PsychCentral.

I'm sorry I cannot be of any particular help with what you are experiencing. However here are links to 5 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of catastrophic thinking the first by DocJohn. Hopefully some of the suggestions within them can be of some help:

What is Catastrophizing?

Catastrophic Thinking: When Your Mind Clings to Worst-Case Scenarios

Navigating Catastrophic Thinking, Part 2

Navigating Catastrophic Thinking, Part 3

5 Ways to Stop a Worry-Filled What-If Cycle

I hope you find being back on PC to be of benefit.