[xmascarol]

I just dont know why when I am anxious or just plain worried I start to cry .My anxieties develop into depression,If I do worry then I cry too.I dont like it .I get mad and sometimes I start to yell my shrink doesnt get why the meds arent working.I know why because when I had my server fall way back when I hit my head and had a very bad head injury which by the way has messed me up bigtime.Sorry but I have had suicidal thoughts now bear in mind they are only thoughts and I have no intention of doing away with myself .I am just a deep depression right now.All my shrink does is increase my meds this time he did nothing.I keep telling him I dont think there is any kind of medication out there which will help my anger .All I feel like doing is crying.It just comes out so easily I feel like my illness is some kind of punishment.What did I ever do wrong to deserve this.?I feel like this is all my fault.I never asked for this.All I want is to be normal like everyone else.Why cant I just go anywhere without feeling like my anxieties are bad? This illness stinks

[Travelinglady]

I wish I could help.

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

I wish I could help.

Thank you,you just being here helps and I mean that to

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, xmascarol We're all here for you if you need it. You didn't do anything at all to deserve to suffer like this. You're a sweet, wonderful person. Anxiety and Depression are hard beasts to fight, unfortunately. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Is it possible to find another shrink that may help you? It seems like the current one isn't helping you that much. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family that you can reach out? I feel like that's very important as well. You don't deserve to suffer like this at all. You're a wonderful person. Please don't give up. Keep crying as much as you want if you can. Crying can be good. It could help you relieve your stress and hopefully it will help you feel better a bit. I'm so sorry. I know it must be very hard for you. Please don't give up. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, xmascarol We're all here for you if you need it. You didn't do anything at all to deserve to suffer like this. You're a sweet, wonderful person. Anxiety and Depression are hard beasts to fight, unfortunately. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Is it possible to find another shrink that may help you? It seems like the current one isn't helping you that much. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family that you can reach out? I feel like that's very important as well. You don't deserve to suffer like this at all. You're a wonderful person. Please don't give up. Keep crying as much as you want if you can. Crying can be good. It could help you relieve your stress and hopefully it will help you feel better a bit. I'm so sorry. I know it must be very hard for you. Please don't give up. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

Unfortunately I have to stick with this shrink the place I go to is like a state thing so I am stuck.I have seen about five different shrinks here they have such a quick turn over at this place.ONe of the doctors I really loved she was so nice but she left after about nine months.That is my luck get close to someone then they leave.I feel kind of tired because I was up all night just felt to wound up and I cried this morning again.Maybe this sounds silly but I am missing my mom so much I know she has been gone for a long time since last June 9th.Do you know she wouldnt talk to me for two weeks before she passed away she wouldnt talk to anyone .My kids would go and see her they would tell me it is a good thing I didnt go there to see my mom she was just awful . Still there are days when I wish I could call her on the phone.I do talk to her and my late husband.I lost a brother ,a cousin I was very close to my mom and dad so I have nonone to talk to except my friend who visits with me after work.She really doesnt get why I am like this but she will listen to me.Sometimes I think I make her cry too.I wish my kid would come to visit with me more then they do.I see my daughter about once a year and she lives only about twenty minutes from me and my son about ten.I have to beautiful grandchildren but I never get to see them.I need help with some things and they wont help me to busy.I love them both so much but I feel hurt .Like what did I ever do to them?I was never busy when they needed me.You know what my friend has the same problems with her kids they just dont want to bother I am sorry but this to me is very upsetting.Just before my momm became really sick we would talk every single day but she never understood my mental illness matter of fact one time she even said to me you have had this illness for a long time now dont you think it is time to get rid of it/You cannot get rid of it. My mom I believe had her own mental illness ,LIke she really was depressed and I believe she might have had anxieties herself she worried even more then me.She would never admit to it.I loved her and my dad so much even though they verbally and physically abused me.

[Skeezyks]

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Thank you .You are such a nice person.I do hope that you are alright

[LegoSmile]

personally, I'd recommend when you feel this way to just do things, anything which is beneficial and will help you, keep doing these things over and over until they are habit forming!

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by LegoSmile

personally, I'd recommend when you feel this way to just do things, anything which is beneficial and will help you, keep doing these things over and over until they are habit forming!

oh believe me I do plenty of knitting and crocheting and I have my friend bring the stuff I make to the soup kitchen at Christmas I do this every year.I also do some drawings ,some funny some not>I use to do my drawings on the computer but I cannot anymore because the page freezes the minute I try to save my pix. I share them with my best friend.Well at least someone can see them.