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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
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#1
Hello, I have chronic anxiety, bipolar, depression and now agoraphobia.
I wonder if someone here can relay to what I am going through. I can be in a social situation, but my problem is how to get there. Once I am talking with someone or a group of people, even the ones I just meet, I am fine. But getting out of my house is my big issue. I am in a very bad place right because of severe anxiety that developed in Agoraphobia. I am not leaving my house alone for the last five months. I am going back to therapy in a month. I am so afraid to go outside, drive, even getting the mail become so difficult. I am very aware of my situation, in treatment for years with very good Psychiatrist and Therapist. I just stuck myself this last winter, unable to move forward. My Psychiatrist changes my medications dose, but still, I am not getting any better. It is complicated because I need to come back to therapy but I am not because of the fears of driving and being outside. I really need some encouragement. Thank you for reading. The best for all of you. Hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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Goforward, lightly toasted, MickeyCheeky, rainbow8, stayingafloat, zapatoes
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MickeyCheeky
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#2
Maybe taking a taxi, Uber, or Lyft might be helpful. Then you are not alone except going out to the car.
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MickeyCheeky
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hope2010, MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
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#3
Nemo, what a great idea! I live in the suburbs, so paying a taxi, Uber is not something I can do often. Still is a way out!
If I was living in a City I am sure I will be going out. It is the big open spaces that I am afraid of, it is something that I believe has to be over soon. It was the winter, the isolation I put myself into, last so long, so now it is like starting all over. My husband is taking me everywhere. It is not fair for him. I am going to work really hard to overcome this. But it is an illness no something you just make it up. That I know for sure. Thank you for your suggestion. Let me know that I am not alone. Hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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MickeyCheeky
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Member Since Jul 2018
Location: United States
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#4
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FearLess47, hope2010, MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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FearLess47, hope2010, MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
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#5
Quote:
Right now, I will do it! I am going to drive to the supermarket. I have a short list so I will have to put my one foot out of the door and keep going. Writing here already give me so much hope. I am not alone. Thank you so much! __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
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#6
Quote:
But I did go to the supermarket! __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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Goforward, MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
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#7
I have the same thing. I cannot leave the apartment unless someone accompanies me, especially my husband (I feel most comfortable being out with him). I have agoraphobia, avoidant personality disorder, generalized and social anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder. Those are my diagnoses, anyway. I feel absolutely trapped in my apartment and completely alone, even when I'm with people. I feel like I'm different and they couldn't possibly understand. I just wish that I had someone as a friend who also goes through this.
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hope2010, MickeyCheeky, rainbow8, zapatoes
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hope2010, MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#8
Quote:
You are not alone, feel free to contact me at any time. Hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
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#9
I have schizoaffective/bipolar and really bad anxiety as well. I'm similar with the social situations, once I'm talking to someone I'm okay but I have such a hard time leaving the house, I have anxiety just about sitting at the picnic bench a few feet away from my apartment. I've had times in my life where I'd stay inside for months. It has t been that bad lately but I still seriously struggle with leaving the house at all. And I want to. I want to be able to spend an hour or so out reading or going to do something but it's hard to actually do it
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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hope2010, MickeyCheeky
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hope2010, MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#10
Quote:
We are not alone. Hugs and Love! __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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FearLess47, MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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Blue_Bird, MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: US
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#11
I've had GAD for about a year and it's awful! I have trouble driving anywhere, and panic when I go shopping. I go anyway, and I drive to therapy appointments, but it's SO difficult. I feel best at home but I am anxious alone also. I totally understand your predicament! I have been
on an antidepressant (Celexa) but it hasn't helped so I'm getting off it. Anxiety is not fun at all! Hugs! |
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hope2010, MickeyCheeky
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hope2010, MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#12
Quote:
I was driving to therapy with a lot of fears until four months ago. Then the depression hit me badly, I started new medications, new doses, all changed. I got to the point of can't get out of my house alone. Last week, after writing here I went out, I drove, I walked around the neighborhood. But that was it. I will try again tomorrow. I set it as my priority. It is as you said so, so difficult. I hope we keep in touch. Hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#13
I am in big trouble. Today I have to buy many things from the supermarket. I will have to drive there. We all talk here about how difficult it is to get out of our house. Now I have no choice.
I can't stand being like this, the rest of the world keeps moving, going out without having to think one second about it and here I am paralyzed for a simple thing to do ... I wish to have a friend that lives close to me so we can go together until I am better, but that is not my reality. Also, the sooner I face the truth that I some point I will be all alone and nobody to bring me food, take me out, etc. the better I will be. I am so afraid that is ridiculous but it is not for me. At least I know for this post that I am not alone in my journey. If you pass by, leave me a comment. I will appreciate it very much, indeed. Hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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MickeyCheeky, rainbow8
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: US
Posts: 13,284
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15 9,983 hugs
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#14
I could have written your post! I feel the same way. I panic when I have to go out, especially to a store. I do it but can't wait to get home. I get light-headed and shaky inside. Often I feel pressure in my head too. The weather is changing and my allergy symptoms complicate things. I never had agoraphobia before!
So, did you go? How was it? |
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FearLess47, hope2010
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hope2010
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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#15
Many grocery stores deliver now, thru apps like Shipt. I think we are aging in very fortunate times, that such resources are generally available.
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
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#17
I know, right?? I think i finally raised my self-esteem enough to admit THATS who i want for my avatar. Not so off-topic, i was thinking, now i leave the house when i - lee van cleef! - want to, and i dont worry about not meeting someone else's standards. Even if it means i miss funerals.
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#18
Quote:
So, that is the very good news, I also went busy cooking chicken stroganoff. Now I am here happy to see your message, we are not alone! I think having a small goal each day is helping me. The big problem will be, as you said so, drive to my therapist clinic. It is located half an hour from my house, I have to drive on the highway that is really difficult for me. How are you feeling when you know the night before that you will Have To get out and drive? I got anxious, catastrophic thoughts. I hope you don't have them. I will be around, hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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FearLess47, rainbow8
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rainbow8
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
5 267 hugs
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#19
Quote:
You guys are definitely not alone...agoraphobia can come in waves. It was very severe for me 20 years ago. Now I understand it as an anxiety that has grown to a point where it takes over logic. Kind of like you are on a tight rope and you have "whatever you do, don't look down!" repeating in your mind. You might even close your eyes. Then one day open them, look down, and the ground is just inches away after all. Last weekend I had to go to a mall. At all times I avoid malls. I made my husband take me and I really wanted to just order the thing I needed online. Anyway...we went. I bought the thing. And then 2 days later when I tried it on, it was the wrong size. UUUUUUGGGHHHHHH. I actually considered not saying anything, and not doing anything about it. Then I looked online (where I normally shop) and thought about just buying a new one in the right size. My husband wound up taking me again...I literally said, "Bye (store), see you never again." LOL. It sounds crazy. But this is the struggle. Right? Something fritzy in us that is powerful. But we are even more powerful. Small goals. Small things to prove to ourselves that we can. It doesn't mean we always will. But it means that compassion and acceptance are the keys to getting outside... FearLess47 |
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hope2010, rainbow8
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hope2010, rainbow8
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#20
Quote:
What a very wise thing to say " Small goals. Small things to prove to ourselves that we can. It doesn't mean we always will. But it means that compassion and acceptance are the keys to getting outside... I don't like going to the mall too. But when I really need something, like for a trip, I go to one particular store, check online first, then try the outfits in person. We also have in common "the no willing to return whatever goes wrong to the store" . I have to push myself to do so, help me to think that I can find something better .... that I can be like everybody else and return my things. I didn't have agoraphobia before. I was isolating myself for time to time with depression, but I didn't get to this point when for five months my house is the only place I am comfortable to be, day after day I enclose myself in this world of loneliness. I am a fighter like all of you! We are brave because we live with something no many have to face every single day. Small goals, one day at the time, we keep walking together. Hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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rainbow8
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rainbow8
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