Anxious parent with an anxious kid. 😭

Hi, all! I'm new here and needing advice fast. 😭 I'm a frantic person with worst-case scenario anxiety disorder that's been pretty mild since I became a stay at home mom. But my 3 year old has inherited my panic-ky nature and now that I have to go back to work, we are absolute basket-cases due to our attachment issues. We have sort of become each other's "safe" person, but I have to go back to work and we are both building panic as the countdown to first time separation is ending. Examples of her attachment: if I'm in a different room, she panics until she finds me. If I'm in the bathroom, she is screaming at the door. If I open the door to the house, she freaks and screams. I can leave her with people she otherwise "trusts" to the best extent that she can, but she will scream and tremble until I come back. She has had a very kind upbringing, no abuse, father and I are happily married and have no anger issues. But when I'm not around, she trusts no one!! And now, even times when I come back after being gone for just a few minutes or even open the bathroom door after a bit, she screams and says she doesn't love me, or to go back in or out. As if she can't comprehend how to "come down" from her panic and it ends up being a real hard time getting her calm. Does anyone have ANY advice , tips for helping her self-soothe, coping mechanisms, or experience with this? I'm so sorry to pour out my issue in the introduction, but starting work soon and scared of possibly traumatizing her! All help is appreciated!

Hello Chap: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the Partners of People & Caregivers forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/partn...ivers-support/

I'm sorry you are confronted with this most difficult situation. My thinking is that the problem you're dealing with may be one that will require the expertise of a child psychologist. Hopefully you will receive some useful suggestions from members here on PC. However most of us are consumers of mental health services, not mental health professionals. And we are not able to offer professional mental health advice. My sense of the situation you describe is that professional intervention is what may be needed. You not only have to think about what you can do to deal with the situation as it stands now; but you also have to think about what your child's current condition presages for her future.

There is a mental health condition that is referred to as Separation Anxiety Disorder. Perhaps you're familiar with it? (From my lay-person's perspective, it sounds as though this may be the type of thing you're dealing with.) Here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject:

Separation Anxiety Disorder Symptoms

Frequently Asked Questions about Separation Anxiety Disorder

Treatment of Separation Anxiety Disorder

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.