Really struggling.. please help!

Having a really bad day today and can use some help.. 😞. I just cannot seem to shake this fear I have of having schizophrenia or psychosis even though I've been told by numerous medical professionals that i only have anxiety.. I was anxious on and off all last night and had really broken sleep because of it.. As I was falling asleep I remember having the thought "you gotta find a job" and I answered it with "why?" and that has me freaking out now because i know it was my thoughts but then why'd I answer it?. My anxiety is so strong today I just dont know what to do.. I'm scared I'm starting to go crazy, my thoughts are just moving so fast.. I'm actually scared I really am in psychosis right now. I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone (I have harm OCD also 😞 ) even though I dont want to.. but im scared that I'm going to. I cant seem to relax.. I'm trying to breathe and just stay in the moment and stay busy but it isn't helping..

I saw my psychiatrist 2 weeks ago and she prescribed me Buspar. She told me to start off taking 2.5mg once a day and I tried it for 2 days but I felt really weird on it.. about 30 minutes or so after taking it I seemed to get this confusion feeling.. like the other day it's like I felt like I was forgetting something but I knew I wasnt.. which put me right into a panic attack too. I thought about taking it right before I went to sleep so I can sleep through that feeling but I'm just so scared to take it again.. I have a fear of taking medications also because I'm scared they are going to make me worse.. and some do at first for a few weeks but I feel like I can barely deal with my anxiety now let alone it being worse at first because of the med..

I'm just so scared at the moment that I'm shaking.. I cannot seem to get over this fear I have.. I'm scared that I really am crazy and that I'm going to act on my thoughts.. idk what to do.. please help! 😞