[convalescence]

To preface, I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer in March. Of course around the same time Coronavirus was a novel thing and we started living our lives differently too. I’ve had A LOT of change lately in my life. I’m naturally an anxious person and have always experience anxiety throughout my life

But lately everything just feels unreal. I feel more paranoid of others. I think about how somebody with a severe psychotic disorder would think about stuff, and then wonder if I’m close to losing myself, too? Has anybody ever experienced this? Is it normal? Or just part of anxiety? I’ve had psychotic episodes as a teenager, but that might have been from a lack of sleep combined with severe stress. I don’t think I’m actually “going insane,” so much as everything around me is just DIFFERENT now. I’m definitely in a huge level of adjustment.

[convalescence]

Random quick update:

I actually read an article that “mistrusting” others is a symptom of complicated grief. That’s somewhat relieving to know. The fact of the matter is that it’s unfortunate, but I appreciate the knowledge and corroboration that I’m not necessarily losing it.

[MsLady]

Originally Posted by convalescence

Random quick update:

I actually read an article that “mistrusting” others is a symptom of complicated grief. That’s somewhat relieving to know. The fact of the matter is that it’s unfortunate, but I appreciate the knowledge and corroboration that I’m not necessarily losing it.

Sounds interesting. I, too, feel like sometimes "I'm" the one losing it.. I mean, what's the difference between Narcissistic Syndrome (affects from NPD behaviours) vs. paranoia? How can one learn to trust when they're surrounded by untrustworthy people?

I don't have answers for you.. sorry.

[convalescence]

Originally Posted by MsLady

Sounds interesting. I, too, feel like sometimes "I'm" the one losing it.. I mean, what's the difference between Narcissistic Syndrome (affects from NPD behaviours) vs. paranoia? How can one learn to trust when they're surrounded by untrustworthy people?

I don't have answers for you.. sorry.

I appreciate the response. I don’t really need answers so much as I need affirmation that I’m not going “crazy,” or at the very least that “it’s okay to be ‘crazy.’” I’ve struggled with psychosis before in the past, but this feels a bit different.

[MsLady]

I guess it all boils down to what you're ok with.