Anxiety over COVID not going away.

Yesterday, I heard someone on the radio say that COVID 19 will probably be with us for years. Today I googled that. I found a string of articles from very, very reputable sources saying exactly that!

Basically, I'ld already figured that myself. However, reading a bunch of confirmation of that got me anxious and depressed. Now I clearly see that I will live in fear of this virus for the rest of my life.

I know we all die eventually. I'm reasonably okay with that. Nine months ago, I watched my boyfriend due of respiratory failure, due to lung cancer. That intensified a fear I've had all my life of not being able to breathe. I'm hoping that, when I go, it won't be due to respiratory failure. (That's actually a pretty common way to die, since lots of old people die from pneumonia.) Thinking about this today has got me into a bad state of mind.

My psych diagnosis is recurrent major depression with anxiety. Most of my life I've functioned okay. Right now, though, my mental state is getting distressed - all due to worrying about COVID being a threat to me.

We're all in the same boat, as far as being threatened by COVID. I'm interested in hearing how any of you cope with any anxiety you have about COVID. How much do you limit contact with others outside your household? I'm getting very afraid of being around other people. I live alone. The isolation is getting to me. I'm afraid I will never again feel safe outside my apartment.

I'm afraid that this fear will haunt me, even after I get the vaccine. Am I unusual? I think my anxiety is getting unhealthy.