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Member
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
Posts: 124
1 148 hugs
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#1
Hi folks, let me tell you about my impulse phobia in this post, inherited from my previous OCD.
The point is, I sometimes (not always and not with people I trust) fear acting abruptly against other people, saying or doing things that would give a poor impression of me. Don't get me wrong, I fear it but I never do it... it's a form of self-sabotage. These interferences don't let conversations or social encounters follow their natural way, I find myself frequently monitoring the way I behave and thinking what I could do to bring it to a poor ending (yes, self-sabotaging thoughts indeed) instead of focusing on what I want and how I feel (flowing naturally). For instance, when I go for a walk I fear wishing for some vehicles to have an accident or looking into other pedestrians' eyes in a bad or impolite way. It's truly a bit complex, but I thing you can get an idea on how my mind sometimes works against myself to make my life a little bit more miserable. The bad news are that my pdoc doesn't seem very focused on fixing this (it's like we have a lot to fix already). The good news are that valproic acid on its own seems to have been fixing it to a large extend lately. It must be indeed some kind of social phobia, but now I feel much more relaxed and these kind of intrusive thoughts can't interfere with my life that much, I truly feel the difference and I'm greatly relieved of my burden. I wanted to tell you guys about my experience in case you've ever felt this way and also because I wanted to hear your thoughts on impulse-phobias and valproic as a sedative. Thank you. __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg |
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AzulOscuro
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,025
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#2
I don't take valproic, but I do have some OCD. For instance, I might think about saying something or doing something of a violent or sexual nature to make someone think poorly of me. I would not act on these intrusive thoughts, but they make me really uncomfortable and self-conscious and I just want to leave the social situation as fast as I can.
It doesn't happen often, but when it does it happens when I'm really stressed and anxious and don't know the person well and feel unsafe. Maybe it's pressure I put on myself to make a good impression and I want to, as you say, 'self-sabotage'. It really sucks to have these kinds of intrusive thoughts. Any ideas about how to not have them anymore? |
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MrAbbott
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Member
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
Posts: 124
1 148 hugs
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#3
Thank you, TheGal. I'm sorry you share my predicament... on the bright side, it's the first time I meet somebody who might understand how it feels like.
I truly don't know what triggers it, it's a kind of social phobia, but it has never happened with relatives or people I know well. The rest of people, well, they might thing I'm socially tense or awkward, I don't know. My doctor was not even trying to fix it for me, just it does happen that after some time with adjusted valproic levels I feel my mental anxiety has gone down and I can interact much better socially - self-sabotaging thoughts pass easier through me and I feel better. I don't have any technique, there was something wrong with the machinery in my brain, but I guess the more importance you give to it, the worst it'll make you feel, like in my case. I don't see any psychologist, have you ever been advised on this by either psychiatrists or psychologists? Thanks for your message. Hugs __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg |
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,025
1 672 hugs
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#4
Yes, I do understand you. And you're right the more you think about it (or try to stop thinking about it!) the more it persists.
Though I haven't been advised by a psychologist about how to deal with it, I have been doing meditation and I go back to some of the words or breathing techniques and offer myself gentleness and self-compassion AND I've been doing this throughout the day. So when I found myself in a situation where I was meeting new people and those thoughts didn't happen... which was great! |
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MrAbbott
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AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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#5
Hi, you’re also from Spain 😀
Nice to find you. I can only tell you about the symptoms you describe about monitoring people and fear of interacting with freedom. This is social anxiety. As The gal told you, the better you know these intrusive thoughts and the more you treat them as something your mind is creating because of your fears and at the same time you let them pass away as normal, the better. I followed a therapy based on what it’s called third generation therapies. It was based on mindfulness. Sure you heard about it. It works. It takes a time but then, it works automatically. The good side is that Mindfulness can be practised at every single moment and with every task so you then will have practise to apply it into social situations. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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MrAbbott
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Member
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: Spain
Posts: 124
1 148 hugs
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#6
Quote:
Hey Azul, yes we might even be neighbours . Thank you for your view on mindfulness. I have never practiced it, though, but is now on my list if I ever have the chance. Stay well. Regards __________________ Dx: bipolar type 1 with psychosis + some OCD Invega 3mg Depakine 800mg Plenur 400mg |
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AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#7
😂😂😂 Nah, my neighbours are too much nuts.
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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MrAbbott
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