Anxiety Daily Check-In point #8

I had a latte and an iced coffee and a couple sodas. But I also am having medical issues that require getting a painful exam done on Thursday. So I feel like my anxiety is understandable. I'm not being a crab about it though or making a big deal out of it it. My mom cant even tell I'm a nervous wreck about it. I don't think.

I feel like going out to eat . . . but the surge is on . . . so maybe that would be foolish.

I know it's way worse for a lot of the world's people . . . but I'm tired of worrying about COVID.

My anxiety is cranked up to an 11 today. I hope my therapist can help me out in the morning. Theres only so much I can do on my own. And I know I just have to accept that its going to happen but I would kind of like some help with accepting it.

I think I'm more worried about the exam then what they will find.

I seem to be doing ok today. Just feeling down a bit.

Someone on the radio said that some doctors are warning that we're all going to get COVID sooner or later. It's just a matter of when.

That's got me more afraid to leave the house. I'm sick of worrying about COVID.

I had a tough day of anxiety. I'm tired.

Sometimes I think depression is a way of escaping anxiety. I'm kind of afraid to go anywhere, though I did get to Walmart yesterday for grocery shopping. That's about the only thing I leave the house for. There's plenty I could be doing at home - like packing and storing all the Christmas stuff I've taken down. Instead I did nothing constructive today. Mainly read and watched TV.

I don't feel sad, but this level of inactivity is a form of being depressed. I'ld be better off, if I got out of the house more - like if I had somewhere to go . . . to do something. My New Year's resolution was to go to the gym regularly. I really was ready to follow through on that, until Omicron started going wild through the country. So I tell myself: wait another 2 weeks.

I did order N 95 masks online. When they arrive, I think I'll start going to the gym, with the better masks as a higher level of protection.

I have health anxiety and I know that something is really there but I also think these recent celeberity deaths and my mom turning 70 next month is getting me going more then I realize.

I Agree but…Grace Doesn’t Need to be Used to Excuse or Continue Intergenerational Trauma.

•Growing Up Many of My Immediate Family Members Would Do or Say Something Harmful Etc..

•They Would Never Apologize to Each Other. My Mama and Siblings Still Do This.

•They Go Months Without Speaking. Then Act like Nothing Happened and Start Speaking but Nothing is Ever Resolved.

•Just like Any Relationship, Once Another Situation Happens, Each of Them are Arguing about Old **** and the New Situation.

•My Dad’s Side is Exactly the Same, Except They Go YEARS Without Speaking.

•This is a Toxic Pattern of Functioning in Dysfunction and It’s Exhausting.

•If I Did/Said Something, I Will Apologize Even If We Decided to Desolve Our Friendship, Relationship Etc.

•Sometimes Relationships, Interacting Needs to End or You Feed ‘Em with a Long Handled Spoon.

•The Hurt can be so Deep, Painful or Traumatic. People Don’t Have to “Forgive and Continue” the Relationship…Including Relationships with Family Members. Forgiveness is Not Required for Healing.

•People Can Choose to Solely Focus on Healing *🩹 the Hurt, Pain, Trauma and PTSD.

#intergenerationaltrauma #family #intergenerationalhealing #healing #grace #accountability #aplogize #apologieswithoutchange #change #forgivenessisnotrequiredforhealing #siblings #neglect #manipulation #indoctrination #relationships

@Deardopechick repost

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I've had some anxiety but then I just take a Klonopin.

I forced myself to eat basically a whole bag of steam in the bag rainbow cauliflower. But my body really just wants meds right now.

My anxiety seems to have been situational lately. At this moment I'm doing ok.

I had health anxiety but my pscych meds took care of the anxiety part but not the health part. So idk. I had a lot of caffeine but it didn't seem to affect my anxiety. I still did ok with my meds.

I wish I had a med for my anxiety. Oh well. Today I am anxious about being depressed and not getting out of bed.

Anxiety has been hard on these last few days. I'm trying to learn to manage it, but it is such a difficult thing to do alone. I stopped therapy last summer when my online therapist quit. I probably need to find help somewhere.

It's been very difficult lately. And sadness almost always coincides. And feelings of guilt for letting others down.

Even with the valium fiasco and not feeling good my anxiety is not unbearable today. I did not have any coffee for once. Just a can of zero sugar Dr. Pepper and 2 20oz zero sugar Pepsi's. I also didn't eat much and I do better when I don't eat much. I drank a couple little Gatorades which helped with my.physical issues and the tylenol I took helped as well. So while my valium situation is concerning I think I can manage it.

Anxiety has been in check for a long time, but the last couple weeks it's been creeping up a little each day. Today it's been the typical MO, OK early, anxiety getting worse in the evening. The meds have been helping but I don't know if it's the SAD or what but my desire to keep going is dropping every minute. Just can't keep doing this.

Appehensive.

I got my box of N 95 masks in the mail. Still, I'm afraid to go anywhere, except food shopping and to the pharmacy.

I watched someone die of respiratory failure. It's a bad way to go. So I worry about getting COVID. But having this anxiety for this long is grinding me down.