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Member
mark27
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Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: usa
Posts: 38
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#1
Hey.
Im trying to be realistic with myself. From about being 12 years old I was bouncing between by dad, mom and grandparents. I never had so called family. Never had family values implemented into my DNA. I was just living in my world, later virtual one. It got to the point, 15 years later, that I dont have anything. No feelings to my family, not even one friend, not healthy relationship that ended and put me so down, no college education, issues learning, I messed up myself few months ago with THC oil that gave me anxiety, noise in my years, being forgetful, clumsy etc. Like everything is so hard for me. I have social phobia, I hate talking to people because I have nothing on my mind. What are the chances if any for me to have any happiness in this life? Honestly if I could end it I would. Will I have to learn live this life with myself? Being fine on my own, alone? Many times when i finish work I realize that I have nobody to text to, nobody will text me, nobody is waiting for me in the apartment, I have nobody to go to. Like its so brutal. I do feel like a victim of my parents actions that they didnt do any good job raising me. In fact they didnt raise me. I was gorwing up on my own without any tips and guidance. Its so sad to think like that now but its true. My father passed away almost 9 years ago, I still have mom but its like I can see myself in her. In many ways she is like me, very weak person. Nobody to be proud of. I mean i just dont know what to think, do or expect. I know for a fact that not having anyone in life to live for is so empty. There is really no reason to wake up. Nobody is making my life better and i cant make anyones life better. I just work, pay bills, kill the free time, struggle with mental ilness and routine repeats itself. I dont know how much longer it can go this direction without any change. If you were me, not having anything right now, being afraid of life what would you do? See a psychiatrist? Therapist? What can they do for me? |
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lucami, VabGirl
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rechu
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
1,037 hugs
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#2
You are still so young. There are many ways you can change your life if you want to, pursue new education and work opportunities, get involved in activities you are interested in. I'm a lot older than you and I have had to reinvent myself more times than I can remember. The 20s are a time of a lot of change for many people. Therapy and/or a psychiatrist could be of help, definitely.
As far as family, many people have complicated relationships with family. I know I do. For me, these days my husband and several close friends are more family to me than people that just happen to be biologically related to me. |
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Member
lucami
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: middle of nowhere/Central Europe
Posts: 358
80 hugs
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#3
Try psychotherapy, or group therapy. Because of severe agoraphobia ive lost over a decade of life. But after years of psychotherapy, stay in mental hospital, I've got better, met people I can call friends. Now I'm 32 and starting life like I should 10 years ago. It still hurts a bit since time cant be turned back, it's really hard to start from nothing at this age, but it is possible, so don't worry you can't change the past, but you can change the future. The thing is, it's you who have to make sure first step. Like talking to psychotherapist, talking to even random people. You said 'I hate talking to people because I have nothing on my mind' so talk even about the weather, seriously try new things, read books, try video games, just whatever what can widen your horizons, then you'll have things to talk about
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Member
VabGirl
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Member Since: Jul 2021
Location: virginia
Posts: 134
28 hugs
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#4
You are young enough to make changes in your life. You have a job and pay your bills so you have that in your favor. You have to make your own life better. A therapist might help, but it begins with you.
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