advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
will19
Grand Magnate
 
will19's Avatar
will19 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,612
10 yr Member
1,097 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2021 at 01:02 PM
  #1
I had made reservations for a trip I was going to take today about a month ago. It was at a place that I had wanted to see. In the last few days I had my ups and downs about going on this trip. When I went to bed last night, I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing. I got so overwhelmed that I decided to cancel. I had actually made phone calls around 1 AM this morning to do the cancellations.

And now I have mixed feelings. I feel very tired from the lack of sleep. I feel a sense of relief but mostly feel horrible about what I did. I called my sister and she was understanding. Later I talked briefly to my friend and he wasn't. It seems like he wants to give me the brush-off now. I never was that crazy about him, but he is all that I have as a friend.

I hope that I will get over this horrible feeling I have about myself. I get the feeling that it's going to stay with me for a long time. I'm feeling like no one understands. I had some crying bouts today and that's rare for me. Especially when I unpacked my bag and later went grocery shopping.

Last edited by will19; Oct 16, 2021 at 05:00 PM..
will19 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
nonightowl, SprinkL3, unaluna, Yaowen
 
Thanks for this!
nonightowl, SprinkL3

advertisement
Yaowen
Grand Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
6,475 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2021 at 03:32 PM
  #2
I'm so sorry you are suffering.

One of the things we bear in life is the work of our little three-pound brains. Most of the time they are amazing, keeping us alive and healthy 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

Sometimes they disappoint and surprise us. One problem is that our brains are running deep programs, so to speak, "installed" from our earliest life experiences and genetics. Others are running from other experiences.

We can't always predict what you brains our going to move us to do.

I'm not saying that we are not free. We are. but our freedom is finite not infinite. Sometimes our freedom is limited by things like I mentioned, sometimes by strong emotions like fear, sometimes by limitations on our knowledge and awareness, sometimes by conflicting ideas and emotions.

Sometimes it can be hard to love our little brains. But they don't make mistakes of purpose. Maybe we owe it to our brains to be patient with them. After all, they work so hard for us and do so much for us and the 30 trillion or so cells in our bodies.

Often we exercise our free will, but not the whole of it. Sometimes the complete exercise of our freedom is subject to various impediments both inside us and outside us. I often forget that my own little brain is finite. Sometimes I expect it to be an all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful and all-perfect Infinite Being. But it cannot be.

I think you did the best you could last night given everything influencing you at the time. Being anxious is a huge impediment to the full exercise of freedom and if freedom is diminished, so is responsibility by the same degree. Fatigue can powerfully influence us too.

While it is not true that our brain does the best it can at every moment, I think it is true that our brain does the best it can /U]given everything influencing it [/I][/I]every the moment.

I have certainly cancelled trips and regretted it later. I myself suffer from depression, anxiety disorder and panic disorder so I know these powerfully affect my decision at times. I don't see any point in beating up my brain over its mistakes. In a way, my brain is the best friend I'll ever have, working even I am asleep.

You know there are mistakes and then there are MISTAKES.

A couple of men in the last 100 years caused the destruction of tens of millions of men, women and children through campaigns of genocide and forced mass starvation programs. In the grand scheme of things that is a huge, tragic and horrible thing.

Cancelling a trip is far, far, far, far away from being something like that.

On the scale of good and bad, a cancelled trip is not the same as the destruction of tens of millions of people, millions of people, hundreds of thousands of people tens of thousands of people, thousands of people, hundreds of people and so on.

So hopefully with time you will be able to put this incident in perspective so you won't feel so bad.

Wish I knew how to help you feel less bad, but sadly I don't really don't know how. Hopefully others here will make up for what I lack in ideas and share something really helpful to you. Best wishes to you!
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
 
Thanks for this!
SprinkL3, will19
nonightowl
Desert Kitty hates titles
 
nonightowl's Avatar
nonightowl wonders if anybody reads this
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 9,114
15 yr Member
6,675 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Unhappy Jan 03, 2022 at 01:38 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by will19 View Post
I had made reservations for a trip I was going to take today about a month ago. It was at a place that I had wanted to see. In the last few days I had my ups and downs about going on this trip. When I went to bed last night, I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing. I got so overwhelmed that I decided to cancel. I had actually made phone calls around 1 AM this morning to do the cancellations.

And now I have mixed feelings. I feel very tired from the lack of sleep. I feel a sense of relief but mostly feel horrible about what I did. I called my sister and she was understanding. Later I talked briefly to my friend and he wasn't. It seems like he wants to give me the brush-off now. I never was that crazy about him, but he is all that I have as a friend.

I hope that I will get over this horrible feeling I have about myself. I get the feeling that it's going to stay with me for a long time. I'm feeling like no one understands. I had some crying bouts today and that's rare for me. Especially when I unpacked my bag and later went grocery shopping.
Kudos to you for having the courage to even make plans to go somewhere by yourself. I haven't been anywhere in years, as I don't want to go alone. But even if I wanted to, just making the plans (COVID or not) is daunting.

I get the racing feelings; I get them at night when it's so quiet and it's easier to think or worry. No distractions..

Substandard friends---I have 2 or 3 (?) of them in life too. Like you they are all I have, but is it better not to have them in my life at all?

May I ask how you met him? Did you meet him at something like your local senior or recreational center? I met both women at this senior place, and they both have fallen short of a friend in many ways. One was from support group and she turned out to be the least supportive person I ever met.

It could be that maybe the time wasn't just right for a trip, yet like the timing? I don't know. I struggle with stuff like that too, like is this the time to try to do this.....

__________________
Call me "owl" for short!


I Cancelled A Trip Today

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


I Cancelled A Trip Today

"Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time."
nonightowl is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3, will19
 
Thanks for this!
SprinkL3, will19
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:51 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.