Christmas

What are your feelings about this festivity time? How do you see it? what do you expect? how are you going to face it? Do you have any fear about it? Is it a time you especially like or on the contrary?
Feel free to express whatever you need and want.

I have mixed feelings about Christmas. On the one hand, I enjoy the time and many of the traditions attached to it. On the other hand, I am not very fond of much of the commercialization of Christmas.

I live not far from a super highway. During the Christmas season there are so many cars on the road as people go shopping for Christmas presents that the air by my house gets quite polluted. There is a yellow haze outside and the air has a kind of acid smell as taste from all the burnt hydrocarbons from automobiles and such.

Since air pollution is linked to health problems I am not fond of this aspect of Christmas.

There was a study a couple of years ago where researchers mapped the locations of people who got Alzheimer's disease. They found that a lot of people who got this disease lived close to highways, airports, railyards and factories that produced air pollution. Christmas brings a lot of pollution to where I live so this is downside to Christmas for me personally.

People seem a little bit nicer during Christmas, a little bit happier too. But of course I realize that many people become very frenzied, nasty and miserable during Christmas too. I remember once when a friend told me: "I am so miserable because I am all alone on Christmas. I wish I had family." That very same day, another friend told me: "I am so miserable because I have to be with my family on Christmas."

I prefer Christmas over thanksgiving and it has nothing to do with the presents. Christmas isn’t hectic like Thanksgiving is and I get to be in my own house with just my brother and my mom and my sisters family. There’s no traveling or hotels or headaches involved. It’s just simple.

My husband and I just do a low key celebration, even moreso last year do to the pandemic. It's a very family-oriented holiday, so our friends all get together with their families. My husband has a very complicated relationship with his biological family and the woman who raised him died when he was still a teenager. My family is scattered across the world. So, we just make a special meal for the two of us and accompany it with a good bottle of wine.

I love the holiday decorations, especially the lights. I enjoy traditional Christmas music. The rest of it...I spend the whole season with a hamster on a wheel in my stomach

Mixed…in the past I would be excited by this holiday however; I’ve noticed a change in my own opinion about this day. It appears to be something I’m struggling with and not the external aspects of season. Unfortunately I haven’t analyzed deep enough to discover what’s the root of these mixed feelings. It could be the general anxiety of expectations of myself and others, just don’t know yet.

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There's only me and sibling now. we used to have a large family of in laws but after they divorced I never saw any of them again.


For us the magic of xmas was lost after our mum died in our teens as it was quite near xmas too and our dad couldn't cope told relatives not to bother with presents or anything.


I dreaded it every year for many years, was just getting comfortable with the inlaws who were big on xmas and presents when sibling and partner divorced and it was just me and him again.


It went quiet and it was just an afternoon at the pub,he'd book us a table and we'd buy each other something we needed or wanted but I think neither of us had our hearts in it.


Though I got more enjoyment watching my dogs unwrap their toys and turkey flavoured treats!!

Sibling has a new partner these last few years whose into spending large amounts on her daughter for xmas. Did feel momentarily envious as I've had never had anyone spend that kind of money on me (our parents never had that kind of money when we did get presents).


But then I'm not interested in designer clothes, perfumes etc. Been autistic I'm happy with a new game or colouring books and my favouite drink. My dog gets more presents than me!


But yes it is really over commercialised now and for some more about how much they got rather than just getting time to spend with family.

I’m sorry a lot. At the top of all it should be the wellbeing of people.
I also have mixed feelings as you towards these kinds of celebrations.
But, again, I want to stress on that the well-going on people is at the top.
Is there a possibility to do something against this pollution? Or none cares there where you are?

I do understand you. Thanksgiving day is like Spanish Christmas dinner. I mean it’s a tradition for close family to be together so I guess it’s kind of mess there, in the States, where many members of a family are in different States. It has to be a mess with the inconvenient of the weather and transport.

It seems as a very good plan :-)

Don’t worry. You don’t need to see this time as a especial one. You’re not forced to. I don’t do it. You are not force to. Think about how many people feel forced to be with who they don’t want to be, to do things they don’t feel like.
For me, it’s another day in life where my partner is free from work so we can be together.
Christmas time, whatever time is not gonna force me to do any different. For me, each day is different and it’s full of opportunities to do what I please. Nothing and noone is gonna make me do things in a different way as I please.

You say the nervous in your stomach because you are forced to do things that are out of your comfort zone? Or because you feel a pressure to feel and enjoy in the same way as others are supposed to do?

You know, asking questions to yourself is always good because it means you rock, girl.

On another side, it’s normal you have doubts. You know these kinds of celebrations have converted in a consumerism thing, putting aside the essence.

There’s nothing I like more than seeing my doggies enjoy with the presents we buy for them.

I do understand how you feel with your mother departure. I’m sorry a lot.
For me, Christmas is to be with these beings I feel well and these are my partner and my doggies. I don’t need more. All the rest ( nephew, nieces, neighbours) is a present I’m more than ready to accept and enjoy but I feel the luckiest person to have my partner and my doggies. No need more.

For me personally, Christmas has been a season filled with many associations, good and bad. It was lovely and simple and even glorious when I was a child. After we lost Mom at a fairly young age, it became even more important to be together at Christmas. It was a time to re-connect and enjoy one another's company.

However, in the years leading up to me developing MDD and GAD, our family went through a lot of unnecessary pain and trouble as a result of both my sister's and my stepmother's bizarre need to manipulate and control people, and destroy reputations. I experienced a series of painful breakups and a forced career change in my early thirties, and stepmother chose then to try and drive wedges between myself and people I was extremely close to. WHY she chose to do this is deeply pathological, and too complicated to explain here. But the end result was that Christmas, after her appearance in our lives, became more and more difficult to enjoy, as time went on. I got together for my father's sake, and my middle sister's sake, and later, for special reunions with my brother; but that was all.

It's years later, now. My Dad's gone (he was my hero), brother is sadly gone before his time, stepmonster is gone, and there is no central kind of unit to our remaining family, anymore. Even husband's family is smaller, and splintered, and does not really celebrate at Christmastime. So, we do the small, private nice dinner, wine, and enjoy decorating the tree, hanging wreaths, lighted garlands, etc. We watch old movies and exchange a few small gifts. This year, I feel strong enough to do a little baking on top of making dinner, as well.

I don't suffer from the anticipatory upset and ultimate dismay after get-togethers like I used to. I've gone through a lot of loss and grief and sorrow, and have survived and am stronger. I can now, gratefully, indulge in things that used to bring dread, many triggers, and painful tears.

A big, compassionate hug for anyone who still struggles at Christmas. I really DO understand what it can be like.

Today I was in the supermarket and heard Christmas music, in English, no less. I live in a Spanish-speaking country. It just hit me hard that this is a second pandemic Christmas. I imagine many people here had hoped we would be past the pandemic by now.

Christmas’ spirit is inside you and this is what matters, not only now but all year long.

English language sounds awesome in the songs. I swear you. It’s a very musical language.
Yes, it’s the second Christmas under the pandemic and it seems things are getting worrying with the new variants and denying people.

I personally disconnected from all these news about the pandemic. Only take my cautions to avoid infecting others or to avoid infecting myself. If I have to have another vaccine shotted I will have. But, I’m concerned about other countries whose citizens didn’t have the opportunity to say ‘no’ to a vaccine.

And for the most part, I would like the true Christmas spirit, this you and everyone have the opportunity to see fervent these days were the rule.

I swear I feel like I am just going to stay in my little rural area until the holidays are over. We tried to just go to a nicer supermarket in the next city to the north yesterday. We chose a time when it is normally not busy, but it was so chaotic, we didn't even go in. Then on the way home, we hit a traffic jam due to a major accident.


I have been reading that in more than a few countries, anti vaccine sentiment is becoming more of an issue than supply. It's more than just the US, Austria and a few others. The internet makes the conspiracy theories available to anyone with a connection.

There is an article mainly discussing this issue in South Africa here:

New Omicron variant: Are low vaccination rates in South Africa a factor? - BBC News

I am trying to read less about the pandemic too. I do know we are trending out of that moderate increase we had, so I am trying just to use sensible precautions and go about my business.

On top of it all we have a very contentious presidential election coming in a few weeks. Interesting times.

I’m much for not doing lots of expenses. Only the necessary. This time for me is like any other vacations.
Another opportunity to spend time with my partner my doggies in a pleasant environment and meet friends. The most important thing for me.

I will have a time to remember loved people who are not with us anymore and work on myself to be a better person.