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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
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#1
That's how I think about it, it's this ball inside of me, and I want to reach in and just pull it out. It's ruining my life every time I start to feel comfortable it pops up and keeps me off balance. I just need it to go away and leave me alone.
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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Discombobulated, Skeezyks, WovenGalaxy, Yaowen
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,475 hugs
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#2
Carrying around a ball of insecurity . . . that is such a perfect way of describing what I feel too. I'm so sorry that you are burdened with this crushingly heavy weight!
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annoyedgrunt84, Skeezyks, WovenGalaxy
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annoyedgrunt84
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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8 17.4k hugs
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#3
I hope you will be able to find a way to at least deflate, if not pull out, that ball of insecurity. When I think about it, if I pulled out all of the icky non-helpful things I have roiling around inside I don't know what, if anything, would be left.
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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annoyedgrunt84, WovenGalaxy, Yaowen
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annoyedgrunt84
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Member
Member Since Jun 2022
Location: Hillsboro, OR
Posts: 191
1 115 hugs
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#4
Is there anything happening that triggers this ball of insecurity?
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annoyedgrunt84
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annoyedgrunt84
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
given |
#5
Yeah, I think I realize it’s there when people talk about people they don’t like. I get afraid everyone will abandon me, or would if they knew all of deepest secrets. I fear and crave emotional intimacy at the same time. I want to tell someone everything but know that it would be a bit much f I did. I’m so frustrated that I can’t just be fixed. My brain is broken I need a new one .
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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dzrtgirl, WovenGalaxy
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