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cool09
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Default Jun 21, 2022 at 06:24 PM
  #1
After 2.5 yrs of therapy I still get awful anxiety. All my therapist said was "You have to manage it" but she never told me how. Breathing exercises don't help.

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Default Jun 22, 2022 at 02:32 AM
  #2
They won't give you any medication?

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Default Jun 22, 2022 at 08:06 AM
  #3
I'm so sorry you are burdened with anxiety. I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Attacks, so my heart really goes out to you.

Since I don't know what your circumstances are, I am doubtful that I can be very helpful.

Here are some general comments on anxiety . . . Not sure they are appropriate to your situation or not.

In the animal world, anxiety is generally confined to matters of life and death. But we human beings have a tendency to worry and give a sense of life or death urgency to matters that are not really matters of survival.

I have seen people stress out over getting the shortest line at the checkout counter at a grocery store, or over getting the best parking spot. For many things in life we could say: "It isn't essential that I succeed at that" or ask the question: "is this really a matter of life or death or am I simply treating it as if it was?"

I know a man who has dedicated his life to helping people. He used a site like this one to read of people's distress and then offer them kindness, compassion, understanding, encouragement and consolation.

In other ways, his life is quite a mess. One could perhaps say with some honesty that his work life is pretty much of a failure as are his relationships. He is plagued with some heavy personal struggles and health struggles.

But he has prioritized his life around his mission to help people and that is what he is known and loved for.

Of the other things in his life he has said: "It isn't essential that I succeed at this. It isn't essential that I succeed at that."

People don't care about his failures. He is known for his great kindness. Sometimes it helps people to have a mission in life so they can let go of worries that plague others.

I know a homeless woman who lives by begging. Superficially one could say that her life was marked by a continual series of big and little loses and failures.

But today this woman takes some of the money she makes by begging and goes into gas stations and convenience stores and puts it in those little charity boxes: March of Dimes, St. Jude's Children's Hospital, the Red Cross and such.

She has risen above the failures in her life and she does not worry and stress about every aspect of her life. Her attitude is that she is not going to worry about failure in other areas of life if she can even slightly help children with cancer, victims of floods and other nature disasters and so on.

There are all kinds of worries: health worries, work worries, money worries, relationship worries and so on. Often we worry about things that it is not essential that we succeed at.

Anxiety can be never ending. We worry about things and if they turn out okay, we don't rest, we just move on to worrying about others things in a vicious and endless loop.

Since I was raised to be a perfectionist, I can find myself in a sea of worries and I have to tell myself: "Okay, this isn't a matter of life or death. It isn't essential that I succeed at this. Things don't have to be perfect, they can be 'good enough.'

One can even embrace failure. One can let some things go for the sake of one's mission in life.

I think of the great Holocaust Rescuer, Oskar Schindler. His life was a total mess. He had really bad habits. His relationships were failures. He went bankrupt several times in his life, once making a living by selling light bulbs door to door as a salesman. His health wasn't great.

But at some point in his life he rescued a large number of people from genocide. That is what he is known for. He had a mission in life and he prioritized everything around that mission. He let a lot of things that people regard as important just slip away.

Not sure any of this would be helpful to you since without knowing your circumstances and what worries oppress you, it is impossible to say anything really specific to your situation.

I read a really helpful book many years ago. I think it was called "The Worry Cure." I don't remember the author's last name but remember it started with the letter "L."

This book helped me a lot with my anxiety and panic disorder.

I am not trying to promote this book since there may be many other books better than it. I'm just sharing what helped me personally. Medication for anxiety also helped me a lot.

Wish I knew what else to say. I'm so sorry you are burdened with anxiety. It is a heavy, heavy burden to bear. Crushingly heavy at times.

Deepest apologies if I have not been able to be helpful to you in any way. I sure hope you find something that helps you!

By the way, I have not conquered all my anxieties. There are still times I can become consumed by worry. So I am a fellow struggler in this battle.

Last edited by Yaowen; Jun 22, 2022 at 08:22 AM..
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Default Jun 22, 2022 at 08:42 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by cool09 View Post
After 2.5 yrs of therapy I still get awful anxiety. All my therapist said was "You have to manage it" but she never told me how. Breathing exercises don't help.
I do distraction something to focus on to keep my mind or anxiety out of my head.
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Default Jun 22, 2022 at 08:45 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by cool09 View Post
After 2.5 yrs of therapy I still get awful anxiety. All my therapist said was "You have to manage it" but she never told me how. Breathing exercises don't help.
Find a more helpful therapist.
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Default Jun 24, 2022 at 01:46 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Trae View Post
I do distraction something to focus on to keep my mind or anxiety out of my head.

I obsess a lot, also. So it's hard to distract myself. My mind just does what it wants.

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Default Aug 31, 2022 at 10:00 PM
  #7
I find Eddie Stern on Youtube very good for calming with yoga type breathing. He is really good, and has a calming nice voice. Concious breathing really calms the brain and mind to activate the para sympathetic nervous system. try it and let me know if you like it @cool09
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