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darkfeary
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Michigan
Posts: 95
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#1
Why do I do it every time? Why can I not let myself be happy and do well? 48 years old and still struggling. Am I doomed to a lifetime of never getting it right, of never healing, of never having peace?
I keep doing things to myself that I know will hurt me. 😔 I always think negatively. I always feel hopeless. I am always scared, worried, and sad. I am sick and tired of trying almost every medication and treatment. I really want to give up but that cannot happen bc of my kids. I feel stuck in this torturous prison for life. 😭 |
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Skeezyks, unaluna, Yaowen
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Grand Magnate
Yaowen
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Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618
(SuperPoster!)
6,475 hugs
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#2
I am very, very sorry you are suffering. It is heartbreaking. I think you are very heroic to be carrying the crushing burden you bear for the sake of your children. When people with horrible depression tell me that they are staying alive for their children, it makes me cry. I think that is the most heroic thing in the universe. You tower above me in dignity and moral stature. I hope you find something that helps you with your depression.
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darkfeary, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Skeezyks
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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17.4k hugs
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#3
I'm sorry you are still struggling with this. And I hope you will be able to find a path to inner peace. Unfortunately I have to say I'm 74 years old and still struggling. Plus I also keep doing things I know will harm me (literally.) Yet I don't seem to be able to stop either. Hopefully you won't find yourself in my situation later in life. But it can happen.
By the way, did you happen to see the thread in the Other Mental Health Discussion forum regarding Genesight testing? Perhaps this is something that could be of benefit? Here's a link: If you are struggling with meds, get a Genesight test now!! Best wishes... __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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darkfeary
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