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Old 08-03-2022, 02:06 PM   #1
What_the_hell
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Default Social anxiety and alcohol

My partner has recently let me know that she needs to take a shot or a drink before going to social events that have 5+ people. I've never seen her drunk and she doesn't drink too much at the events themselves - but using alcohol to loosen up and feel less tense is enough to be an alarm bell for me. She does have a history with alcohol and an unusually high tolerance for it. She often drives after having one or two drinks, too. I feel safe with her overall but I have become really concerned about the way she uses alcohol to cope :/

here to vent, possibly get an advice on how to address this. part of me wants to just run cause I fear this might be something she wouldn't want to fix.
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Old 08-03-2022, 06:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: Social anxiety and alcohol

*i have to mention, it is legal to drink and drive in my partner's country and we are living there now. A friend who is from the similar cultural background as my partner told me it's really okay here and not something I should worry about. But for me it's shocking :/
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Old 08-05-2022, 01:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: Social anxiety and alcohol

Social anxiety and consuming of drugs are pretty much related.
And much more alcohol that itís a legal drug. Itís understandable that she wants to make use of it to feel some sort of disinhibition. Kind of self-medication.
Last week, I was in a park with an acquaintance and a guy who joined us and she (my acquaintance) made a comment pretty revealing that I wonít forget. She said with sorrow to the guy: You see, Iím only can be fun by drinking alcohol.
I understand why you are concerned, especially when in the past she struggled with it.
Itís easy to cross the line of addiction without even noticing.

I wished that I could help you. Because you canít force or control another person as much as sheís your romantic partner. You only can be there by her side (donít let her drive. Drive yourself. This is the first because you both are putting into risk other people). Tell her information about where to go to do for a rehab.
Offer her a challenge. Going out for a little bit of interaction without using alcohol. So she will realised that itís not needed. But, begin with little interactions that requires from her very little effort and anxiety because you are going to be there, to support her. For this, you have to reach an agreement with her.

Tell us how it is going. And whether you are finding some struggles to handle this situation.
I wish you and your girl all the best!!!!
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Old 08-05-2022, 02:59 PM   #4
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Default Re: Social anxiety and alcohol

I have just rushed into this article from PsychCentral magazine.
You could find it interesting and so your girl.


Podcast: Staying Sober and Funny with Dave Coulier
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Social Anxiety and Depression.
Iím not a native English speaker so take this into account in the way I have to express myself.

Yes, you can.
Donít forget powerful people seem giants but this is only because we look at them from down, over our knees. Itís time for us to stand up. Trust yourself. Donít let you being lied. ✌️
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Old 08-06-2022, 06:21 AM   #5
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Default Re: Social anxiety and alcohol

Hi, yes Iíd be concerned about the driving and drinking too, where I live itís legally possible to keep within the alcohol limit and still have a drink but many people choose zero alcohol because even a small amount can affect judgement/reaction times. Thatís not cultural- itís proven fact. Like Azul suggests can you drive? Or use taxi or public transport?

Loosening up with a drink is common, yes Iíve done it and when I was younger more so, sometimes to excess. Itís a matter of judgment whether sheís within sensible parameters or not, how much in total she drinks, whether itís impacting her life - the fact youíre flagging it up means there might be a problem if youíre worried about it. Iíd say itís something you should feel able to discuss calmly (when youíre both sober).
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Old 08-06-2022, 08:19 AM   #6
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