[Lynn3734]

I’ve always had to push myself to get out and meet new people. I found friend groups at times, and there’s some thing about me. That just doesn’t mesh with them, usually it’s that they’re heavy drinkers and I’m not. Or I don’t stay out late enough. Or I get tired of peoples behavior and imposing opinions. And my anxiety gets in the way.

I feel like the things I have to share with people are not all that interesting because I don’t really have activities or hobbies since I don’t go out much. I have a great career I live in a nice area and that’s about it so I’m finding it hard to open up. I love hearing about other people and things that they’ve done with their lives but I don’t really have a lot to share so I clam up or feel inauthentic. I feel awkward in group settings. I’ve literally sat at dinner tables and no one talks to me; and I do initiate conversations but people seem to ignore and dismiss me.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing your concern. I've had problems, over the years, with the sorts of things you mention in your post. I never really had friends. But in my case, it was largely my own fault. For the most part, I was never interested in the sorts of things other people were interested in. And I just never seemed to meet anyone who had an interest in things that were of interest to me. So, over the years, not having friends just sort-of became a habit. Nowadays I simply prefer to keep to myself. Being alone can, I think, become habit. So I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find friends who will value you for the person you are. (Personally, I think you're probably better off without friends who are heavy drinkers or who stay out until the wee hours of the morning.)

[unaluna]

Have you tried walking groups? I took up racewalking when i was younger and the camaraderie was wonderful. Great place to make friends. Any kind of sport.

[Lynn3734]

I'm trying to find something other than happy hours and boozy brunches to connect with people. I just don't know what I want to commit to as far as club, class or some hobby-book club, painting. I figure if I pay for it, I'll go! You are completely accurate in that being alone has become a habit, it's just my norm. I don't have the energy my previous friend group has. I need downtime, just not all down time and isolation. Thanks for posting.