[xIxAmxSadx]

I spend countless hours worrying and obsessing on how to keep myself safe from the things I am a afraid of, yet when I am faced with a trigger or a situation I cannot control I just completely lose it. My anxiety practically bursts out of my chest and I feel as if I scare others around me with my panic.
I'm constantly told I'm choosing to let my mental illness control me, which doesn't feel fair, because I feel helpless to control it in any sense.
I spend so much time on compulsions and obsessive thoughts that I hardly feel like a normal human sometimes. I find it very hard to feel joy when things get this bad.
I am looking into anxiety medications. Hoping perhaps it will help.

[CANDC]

@xIxAmxSadx I am sorry you are feeling so anxious. Although I do not believe mindfulness replaces medication, I think it is a good practice to help moderate anxiety. This youtube video I found seems to be a good one for anxiety but there are many others.

Mindfulness for Anxiety ? A Beginner's Guide 21/30 - YouTube

If you have an hour, this one is a professionally prepared video for counselors and clients to cope using mindfulness
Mindfulness for Anxiety Relief | Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques - YouTube

If you find meds help, that is great, but do not rule out mindfulness because it works with meds also, whatever works for you. @CANDC