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Stillhuman
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Stillhuman . “When you look at the dark side, careful you must be. For the dark side looks back.” – Yoda
 
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Default Jun 03, 2023 at 03:32 PM
  #1
Title says it all.

There are probably a lot of reasons for it including going no contact with my family of origin.

I just need to dial down my hyper vigilance.
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Default Jun 03, 2023 at 04:40 PM
  #2
Those must be scary thoughts to have (referring to your title).

Do you have a psychiatrist and psychologist to talk to?
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Default Jun 03, 2023 at 05:12 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by TheGal View Post
Those must be scary thoughts to have (referring to your title).

Do you have a psychiatrist and psychologist to talk to?
I am. My psychologist thinks it’s relative to my experiences. She is referring me to CBT for trauma.

My doctor prescribes me minimal doses of clonazepam. It sucks because I feel better on it, but I’m only allowed 30 pills for 90 days
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Default Jun 03, 2023 at 06:23 PM
  #4
I'm so very sorry you've been through trauma, stillhuman.

It's good you have a pdoc and psychologist on your team.

In the meantime, there are CBT YouTube videos... lots of psych videos are there, actually, as you probably know. Some better than others, you just need to choose what's right for you.

Also have you heard of Dr. Gabor Maté? He talks and writes about trauma.


If you feel like talking about the specifics / nature of your thoughts and anxiety, we are here.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, if wanted.
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Default Jun 09, 2023 at 04:59 PM
  #5
I think what it is is my family’s disregard of my boundaries and total disrespect to my character over the years. They’ve told some big lies about me to a lot of people. I haven’t had much say in anything it feels like.

My brother has had a history of stalking and harassing his exes and I think he got his start in domestic violence through abusing me physically and emotionally. He threatened to kill me every day at one point, and actually brandished a loaded gun in my face once (after firing it off outside our front door).

My family seemed to kinda use him as a snitch in an episode of triangulation and I blocked them over it. My brother’s history of handling rejection is kinda scary to me. I think that’s where it comes from mainly.

Though I think it also comes from them playing fast and lose with my address and phone number when I make a point of going no contact with certain family (like my mom, or my brother). My aunt said she almost gave my address to my mom, after knowing that my mom played an equal and willing part with enabling my brother to assault me. My aunt brought this up and reframed her interaction with me as threatening and accused me of harassing her(playing victim?). My aunt also called my mom a narcissist. My aunt seems to have similar traits where she triangulates then denies ever having talked to other people about me. She stonewalled me. In the past she accused me of lying once and smeared me over said lie. The pattern seems eerily familiar to what my mom used to do.

My mom passed away now, but I remember her giving out my phone number to my brother, after repeatedly telling her no. I've grown tired of the idea that we're family so it's okay.

I mentioned what she said to me after my mother died and she went apeshit and just started attacking me personally while comparing my life to her “wonderful life, and wonderful husband.” Like lady I brought into question the content of your words, not your status in life.

My thoughts are people who get enraged over a slight or any criticism while not caring that they lie will feel justified in getting away with absolute bull ****.

I think my family is kinda whack a doodle.

I’ve had the odd stalker too which was creepy.

A flying monkey attack is probably my bigger worry, which can involve stalking behavior.

Last edited by Stillhuman; Jun 09, 2023 at 06:07 PM..
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Default Jun 09, 2023 at 05:47 PM
  #6
I'm so very sorry, Stillhuman that you've been abused and traumatized by your family. And victimized by your aunt.

What does your therapist say about going no contact with her?

Have you discussed with your therapist steps you can take to keep yourself safe?
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Default Jun 09, 2023 at 06:12 PM
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I'm so very sorry, Stillhuman that you've been abused and traumatized by your family. And victimized by your aunt.

What does your therapist say about going no contact with her?

Have you discussed with your therapist steps you can take to keep yourself safe?
Basically to just report anything they do that is over the line.

In terms of the abuse being historical there is nothing I can legally do, aside from suing for emotional distress, which in turn seems really hard, and expensive to do.

I had actually tried reporting the abuse to police in the past. I wasn't believed. I somehow ended up being caught in the radar of children's services as the abuse unfolded. They wouldn't even let me talk and told me I was the problem.

I don't have a lot of faith in the justice system.

I don't live in the US so arming myself or even carrying mace isn't allowed.

I've been writing a lot and started talking (anonymously) about the dynamics. I feel if I am out about my history, and get my people on my side, they can't do anything to me. My aunt kept insisting family was all I had and called me pathetic. I have friends who know how it went, and insisted I go no contact. My family doesn't seem to know (or care) that I have actual friends.
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Default Aug 09, 2023 at 02:43 PM
  #8
Hello
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.
I've been stalked before myself to be honest.
I'm sure it's different, but in Japan the crime is often lightly punished.
So it's a very straining process that leaves you with plenty of worries at times.

It's lovely to meet you & thank you for sharing.

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