Anxiety because of mom's health

My mom has had four strokes. The last which she is in the hospital for right now. I'm 43 mentally disabled, don't drive and live with my mom and step-dad. I've always been with my mom except for a few years when I was younger. She is 58. I've been having so much anxiety since this stroke happened and she's been in the hospital. She told me she wasn't going to make it while crying hysterically. The stroke has affected her emotions because of where it was. But it caused me to panic when she said that. Not in front of her of course. She talks about dying a lot. I already know I can stay with my step-dad and eventually go to my sisters if something happened, but it doesn't help my anxiety and panic lately. I'm just tired of the anxiety and panic every time something healthwise happens to my mom.

🍒🍒🍒🍒Life is not a bowl of cherries.🍒🍒🍒🍒
🍉🍓🍋🍎It's a bowl of mixed fruit.🍎🍓🍋🍉

@deepurplegirl I am sorry for your mom's poor health. That must be a big disruption in your life.

I lost my mom in 2023 and it really upset my view of the world. Even though I knew she would die soon, there was no way I could prepare for that feeling of having her gone. I believed she would always be there for me. I have had to work hard to get over that.

I hope you get support from the community and find a way to express your gratitude to your mom for all she has done for you. Doing that really helped me to get over the guilt as if I could have done more.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

Oo that’s hard. 58 is young. Perhaps it would help to get some skills training and work with a group that teaches you to be independent?

I don't know. I don't do good with people and I don't drive.

🍒🍒🍒🍒Life is not a bowl of cherries.🍒🍒🍒🍒
🍉🍓🍋🍎It's a bowl of mixed fruit.🍎🍓🍋🍉

There’s quite a few mentally challenged people in my high rise that do not drive. The youngest one plays games with us . But they all have their own apartment and various kinds of help. This used to be for seniors only but there wasn’t enough seniors here so they opened it up to the disabled. It might help your anxiety to know you had skills to fall back on.

That's something to think about. If something happens to my mom my step-dad said I could live with him, also my sister already said I can live with her or behind them in a small trailer or fixed up shed, I also have nieces and nephew who would take me in the event something happened to my sister. So I'm ok that way. I've just been unhealthy attached to my mom. Horrible separation anxiety as far back as I can remember. I used to scream and cry if she went to the bathroom or outside or went somewhere. I know one day she won't be here and it makes me panic and have anxiety.

🍒🍒🍒🍒Life is not a bowl of cherries.🍒🍒🍒🍒
🍉🍓🍋🍎It's a bowl of mixed fruit.🍎🍓🍋🍉

Hiya, how are you doing? How is your Mum?

I understand your anxiety.... My Mum had a severe stroke in 2017. She was left unable to walk and talk. I totally understand your anxiety. I witnessed her stroke and acted quick. But it still haunts me to this day. Unfortunately for us we only had a good 3.5 years with her before she past.

My advice is to spend as much time with her and enjoy the good days. If you need to PM me then please do. I don't come on this board much I hang over in the Bipolar forum.

My Mum was still my Mum just a little bit different. Still goofy. Still fun!!!

We have a piece of writing she did for us when she was her normal self that sits proudly in my flat next to her photo

Take care xxx

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I am really sorry about your mum's health, to me that is something that is almost indescribable. I hope she can recover as well as possible, that would be enough to make anyone nervous.

At the age of 45, when I got hit with cancer, I moved in at mum's house from the city, it was before I met my partner. One morning about two years ago, I heard her being sick in the bathroom, I was in the kitchen getting some orange juice. I walked back here and she was sitting down and looked white as a. ghost. I am a trained physician, so I asked her about her symptoms. She told me her right shoulder was in great pain and her left arm was numb. I told her to take a baby aspirin and called 911. She had a massive MI right in front of me, well heart attack. I tried to revive her, it was all for not, she was gone. Of all the things I have been through, that one hurt me the worst, as she used to tell me about chemotherapy and radiation therapy, if I could have taken it for her I would. I am terribly sorry about your mother, and that it is making you anxious everyone always says a parent should never have to lose a child. That one is a two way street, You will be in my thoughts as will she, please be well.