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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 18
3 13 hugs
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#1
I’m so convinced I annoy everyone and it doesn’t help when the only people I’ve had as friends aren’t very close with me. It hurts so much to want to talk to someone but they don’t want to talk to you. I wish I could talk about my interests. It may not seem like that big of a deal but it’s such an incredibly lonely and frustrating feeling when you have something that you’re so passionate about but no one cares to hear your thoughts. I often get so excited over something and my first thought is wanting to tell someone but then I think about their reaction and how they wouldn’t care because our interests aren’t mutual. I hate having to shut down my excitement because I can’t share it with anyone. It makes me feel so depressed and I start to lose interest in whatever I was excited over. I’m trying to move onto social media where I can interact with people that are into the things I like but I regret every comment I make. I’m so incredibly afraid of people finding me weird or childish. Even when I get positive reactions, I can’t stop convincing myself that it’s only them being nice but they’re actually uncomfortable with how I talk/act. It’s so bad that I want to distance myself completely and just cut off communication all together.
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Discombobulated, TheGal
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OafFish
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,198
2 817 hugs
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#2
It sounds like you have social anxiety which is pretty common. You are not alone!
You need to find your "tribe". But, I'm not certain that social media (at least not right now) is the way to go. Social media can actually increase anxiety. Do you have a psychologist/therapist to help you work through these issues? You may want to check out this website for ways to overcome it. Just search for social anxiety on the main page: Psychology Tools | Deliver Effective Therapy Also, there are 3 books which might help you: "Born to Win" (contains some Gestalt therapy techniques) "Feeling Good" (CBT therapy) "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" (Dr. Claire Weekes, the book is also available on audiobook and excerpts on YouTube) This should get you started... Are there any interests you have where there might be volunteer opportunities... ? Maybe doing something/meeting people IRL would be beneficial to you. |
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AzulOscuro, snakeswithhats
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 18
3 13 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
My problem is I'm also extremely anxious during IRL interactions. A couple of years ago, I didn't have the constant anxiety of thinking people disliked me but it's gotten increasingly worse recently. I have always been uncomfortable while communicating verbally though, ever since I was a child. I have been entirely closed off from people outside of social media apart from my mom and brother. I don't know how to explain to someone that doesn't experience it but it's like my mind goes blank when I try to speak and I get very scared of messing up. None of my responses feel ''normal'' so this is why I avoid meeting people in person which definitely doesn't help with me feeling lonely. I've never been to a therapist or psychiatrist. I haven't been able to keep a job due to my mental health so I couldn't pay by myself but I'm hoping to convince my mother to help so I can at least get somewhere. |
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AzulOscuro, Discombobulated, TheGal
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,198
2 817 hugs
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#4
(((snakeswithhats)))
Yeah, it makes sense that IRL you have no where to escape to if you were to mess up and that, in itself, is a very anxiety-provoking thought. I would check out HeyPeers - Where Peers and Support Groups Connect. They have group meetings with fellow anxiety sufferers, as well as for a nominal fee, individual coaching. They could perhaps also suggest to you ways to go about overcoming/living with anxiety. Check the library for books (and if they don't have what you're looking for, ask if they can put it on their list to order). Also check out YouTube for videos about how to deal with social anxiety and/or stuttering, etc. Hope you feel better and joining a group-meeting with others who understand might very well make a lot of difference for you in a very good way. Give it a try! |
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AzulOscuro, snakeswithhats
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
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#5
I do encourage you to see a professional. It may makes a big different. (S)he will know the therapy to apply. Or the strategies to work on your issues.
I tell you because I have Social Anxiety and the therapies I did, helped me a lot. I committed the error to isolate myself from any interaction along seven years. I didn’t want anybody to know about my struggles because I was ashamed for being different and I didn’t want to charge my parents economically, either. It was when I began to work when I looked for a psychologist. Nonetheless, I progressed but it was more difficult than if I were received professional support sooner. There’s hope. Have you told your parents about it or you also feel ashamed as I used to feel? __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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snakeswithhats, TheGal
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Discombobulated, snakeswithhats, TheGal
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