Anxiety is acting up again, how can I calm down quickly?

As some of you lnow, I have ussues with anxiety & depression. Lately I’ve been more stressed out than usual.

I finally found a job I like snd I finally got f/t hours & insurance & dental coverage. I just need to complete enrollment.

Anyways, I made one of my biggest mistakes at eork yesterday & I almost got written up.

I got an extra shifbin the early morning. I eent to this client ls apartment before. The first time I got lost there. A lot of people get lost trying to find that place. My supervisor tried giving me directions but I still couldn’t find the place.

Fortunately the lady I was releiving called her friend to pick me up.

So it looks stupid that I got lost again. I eent to the right place because the lady I was releiving was at the front of the apartment.

When I came back after parking my car, she wasn’t there. I knocked on the door multiple times & called her with no answer.

I was going to call my supervisor, but I was worried that they’d get upset with me. I should’ve called them.

Stupid, I know. My plan was to wait for her to wake up. I thought the other lady left.

Sm hour later I get s call from my supervisor. He’s a bit upset of course. He said I needed to communicate like an adult in a condescending way.

I asked him if I was going to bewritten up & he said yes if you keep on asking me that. He confused me when he said that things keep pilling up.

I didn’t ask him what he meant. Up until then, I have been on time @ I even got an outstanding on almost everything at my last annual employee review by him.

He asked me if I was at work when he called me. We log into work with a GPS based app.

He probably doesn’t hinks that I’m an idiot now. I was just there. It was dark & even with glasses my vision isn’t to good. I went to an apartment with the same number! Ugh!!!

So the lady was there still. I don’t understand ehy it took an hour to contact my supervisor though. She should’ve called him when I didn’t come back sooner. So she’s a bit at fault too.

On top of that, my fad just got out of the hospital for blood clots & chemo. He had prostrate cancer. He needs 6 rounds & he just completed the second one.

There’s a lot of drsma going on with my family now too. My dad can’t get up at times & he pooped on the floor too. My husband was there on the weekend & he daid the house is filthy.

I told my supervisor that & he said sorry to hear that. I didn’t go into details though.

He might’ve written me up if he didn’t feel bad for me probably. I was stressed out & told him that which made me look incompetent & crazy.

Anyways, the client was cool & she wasn’t upset with me.

I can’t screw up again. I like my main client. I need this job badly. I have a hard time finding & keeping jobs.

I tried taking stress gummies & they helped a little l, but my anxiety is coming back. I now sometimes get these bad anxious feelings & I keep stressing out about making mistakes again.

I forgot to clock out by 7 minutes the other day, so maybe that’s what he meant by pile ups even though nothing was mentioned?

I was tired & distracted & stressed out. What can I do to calm down fast? It’s like I almost can’t control myself in stressful situations. My brain kind of shuts down. Why?

If the anxiety is caused by intrusive thoughts or a stressful situation, Box Breathing can help.

There's another technique where you name five things you see; four things you hear; three things you feel; two things you smell; one thing you taste. Something like that. I don't know what it's called or if I've got it right. Maybe someone else confirm? The general idea is to engage all your senses to "get yourself out of your head" and be present in the moment.

Good luck! You can do this!

Thanks. I’ll try that.

Hi @jesyka, I just want to say that I’ve been following your progress over the last year and you should be proud of what you’ve accomplished- you have got into ft work and you’re nailing it.

The scenario you’re describing is the kind of thing I imagine happens a lot with remote working, trying to find new addresses. Please don’t worry about anyone thinking you’re stupid, if they do it’s on them not you.

I’m currently trying to work on grounding techniques myself, and box breathing is one I’ve been given, like Squarepeg describes. My therapist described it as more of a rectangle- so you breathe in up the short side (5 secs) out along the long side (10 secs), and so on, your out breath being longer. This is to regulate your breathing so you’re not gulping down the oxygen and going into fight or flight.

The other one mentioned I know as 54321, so you pick 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and one you can taste (that can be as simple as toothpaste trace on your teeth).

I got advised to practise these when I’m not feeling stressed so I can be ready for when I need them.

Good luck!

Hey I'm like this too. When I'm super stressed out or in super stressful situations, my brain shuts down. Sometimes for a few days. When I got into a car accident In April, I shut down for a whole month, and sadly still handling the repercussions of that shutdown til now. I feel like I should tell you things will get better, although I'm not there yet now. But let's hang in there. I'm going to start on that box breathing technique myself -- anything to help me feel better, really. Struggling is hard, and knowing that I'm not alone thanks you all here on the board, makes me feel a bit better.

Thanks for the tips. I have finally found the perfect job for me. I just got heslth benefits too that’ll kick in next month.

I suck at dealing with stress, lol. I get even more stressed when someone is yelling at me or if they even get annoyed with me. Idk why that is.

I feel slightly less stupid when my husband who is an expert with directions told me that even HE got lost or had trouble finding places at some complexes.

To prevent this from happening again, I took a pic of the front door & places by her apartment.

It was harder to find in the dark. My boss shouldn’t have made me feel stupid by saying he found the place easily when he was there. Rude, ugh.

Hopefully nothing else will happen now. I can’t deal with anymore stress. I start panicking & sweating. It’s awful.

@jesyka it’s normal to react like that when someone is shouting at you or annoyed. Your body perceives it as a threat, and it triggers your fight or flight response. This is also what shutting down is about too.

There are various calming techniques you can learn such as the ones I described, but it will take time to see effects, it’s not an instant fix.

The most important thing to remember is this is a normal reaction, do not self blame. People like your boss will say unhelpful stuff, they may try to shame you, this is about rejecting shame. Sure some constructive criticism is necessary in a job, but shaming is different.

Sorry to hear about the car accident. It’s good to lnow that it’s not just me then. I’ve been taking lots of deep breaths lately & getting plenty of rest. I try not to do more than one errand a day too if I can help it.

I am still trying to do better in the whole being in the moment. The 5,4,3,2,1 really didn't help me ground myself. So now I have a breathing "stick". It is a pipe cleaner with 5 beads on it. It was supposed to be 4 but I wanted to spell out peace. Anyway, the beads go on the pipe cleaner and tie off the ends. In moments of being overwhelmed, you slide one bead at a time from end to end. While slowly pulling the bead you inhale. Funny thing, belly breathe. Found this out cause I told my therapist when I try breathing during a panic attack I feel like I am smothering... gotta belly breathe, who knew. You can carry the stick with you everywhere. It has worked for me, when I remember to use it.

That's a cool idea; thanks for sharing!

Thanks for your kind words & the advice!