[NuckingFutz]

I'm having a problem in my apartment complex right now with a neighbor. I have 2 cats and they have played in her plants that she placed in her courtyard. She gets very upset and sometimes they have jumped on her plants or pee'd in her planters. I started to watch them and they have been doing fine up until yesterday...

My cats caught a baby lizzard and killed it. Last night I caught hell for my cats catching THREE lizzards (I watched them and they only caught one)...no matter.

The point is that this woman is very prone to histerics. She shreaks and crys everytime that anything she doesn't like occurs. I live in a complex where everyone is a little "off" but this lady takes the cake. I try to avoid her and sometimes it's just not possible. I just left the complex, walked across the street and came to the library to write this in a cool, quiet place where I can collect myself.

When I left she was crying and screaming that she was so sorry that she screamed then my cat got out again and jumped in her planter right away...I got the cat as fast as I could but she started yelling at it and calling it names again.

I didn't say anything to her but to my neighbors who were watching I just acting calming and said "I'm not going to get upset over this but I need to leave just now".

I really don't feel ready to address this issue right now. I see my social worker tomorrow. I don't mind having to keep the cats inside my apartment until I move in January (I really don't want to move but I just can't live around this lady).

I'm not going to take one of my 1 mg clonopins everytime I run into her. I'm not going to let the stress of her histerics effect my stress.

Perhaps talking to the manager of the complex would help (she's not really been of much help before). She will probably call the manager herself, and that's fine, I can deal with that.

I just don't want to start a war because this lady has been vindictive to others in the past...actually hurt their lives, their careers, etc... As a matter of fact, her family has a protective order against her from seeing her father who recently had a stroke. They say this because she is a drug addict (heroin, crack, coke, weed) and even has used on the property. She's just smart enough not to get caught.

I have friends in this place where I live, 2 good ones. I haven't had a chance to share with them because this woman was ranting about how sorry she was that she yelled.

I guess I just need support right now. I think I did everything right in response to this situation...not responding to her comments and her emotions and getting away from there as quickly as possible.

As far as her leaving, she can't leave because she's on section 8 and you can't have drug convictions on your record and still be in the program. She made "friends" with the woman responsible for placing her in the program and she's afraid that someone will find out she's had drug convictions.

How she can be so afraid someone will find out about her activities and her lies and get her out of there and still be so demanding about the common space, her plants, that my cats kill lizzards (she has a 4 foot pet iguana).

I reported her drug use to the apartments, but I have to have some kind of proof because they say people make accusations all the time (I can understand this).

I guess I just needed to vent because I hate having an anxiety without some type of support and I know that by the time a benzo would kick in, it would affect how I handled the rest of my day and on this day, not being aware and alert about what is happening would not be a good thing.

Feedback anyone?

[gimmeice]

((((((((((NuckingFutz))))))))))))
That woman sounds like someone you should do your best to avoid.
You did the right thing not responded to her and getting away from her. I hope everything gets better for you.

[katheryn]

yes you did good walking away , is there any way you can put up a net or trellis to stop your cats going into her courtyard. a garden net, or get some stuff to put on the planters to stop the cats using them
also get a planterr or cat tray for cats in your courtyard
hope these tips help

[TaintedGoth1]

(((((NuckingFutz)))))

[PsyChris]

Unfortunately we encounter these type of people in many places. It is not beneficial to engage them. Anything you say will be interpreted in a way that exacerbates (makes worse) her hysterics.

Clearly you can not control your cats nature. There is no reason you should have to try to alter the behavior of yourself, your pets or your environment to please her. Even if you tried, as you have noticed it would make little difference.

My advice is to avoid this woman. If you do engage her there is nothing wrong with telling her you do not have time to talk to her or any other number of assertive, conversation ending phrases.