[coper]

My husband's anxiety is quite visible. He constantly twiddles a small, thin hair pick between his fingers. He puts his whole hand in his pocket if he's in public to hide this action. Anyway, I know his anxiety is off the charts, but more recently I suspect he may have DID and am wondering how to understand him. Can you direct me to a place on this forum that may help my search?
Thank you.

[Perna]

Hi, coper, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). The forums are mostly other people with various diagnoses chatting with one another. We aren't experts here. You probably should take your husband to a psychiatrist and have him evaluated. Twiddling can just be a habit; my father use to jingle his coins in his pocket (and drive my stepmother crazy :-) and was one of the least anxious people I've ever known.

There is a DID forum with other people who have DID discussing their lives, maybe read there or click on "Disorders" on the ribbon all the way up top, but to get really good adivce and an idea of what's going on with your husband, I'd take him to a doctor and see what they have to say and advice they have.

[coper]

Thank you. I'm actually exhausting myself with research that I really don't understand. My husband knows he has issues/problems and knows he has anxiety problems. He's very much opposed to receiving a label though he wants help and is trying to help himself. Me? I'm just trying to understand.

Originally Posted by Perna

Hi, coper, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). The forums are mostly other people with various diagnoses chatting with one another. We aren't experts here. You probably should take your husband to a psychiatrist and have him evaluated. Twiddling can just be a habit; my father use to jingle his coins in his pocket (and drive my stepmother crazy :-) and was one of the least anxious people I've ever known.

There is a DID forum with other people who have DID discussing their lives, maybe read there or click on "Disorders" on the ribbon all the way up top, but to get really good adivce and an idea of what's going on with your husband, I'd take him to a doctor and see what they have to say and advice they have.

What leads you to suspect he has DID?

[coper]

A friend recently shared his story about his life and his discovery that he has DID. (through counseling) He explained how he "switches".
My response was immediate. "That's how my husband is!"
My husband has these "roles" (for lack of stating clearer). Sometimes he portrays himself very childlike. Sometimes as a bebop singer. (I'm sure this sounds very strange) More seriously though, is how people, including our son, have seen him in various work situations. As a BIG flirt, something I have NEVER witnessed in 35 years. Ok, so many men flirt, eh? Well, HE has NO knowledge of himself acting that way when we discuss it. Often things happen to him--which involve women--and HE has NO CLUE WHY. "I didn't do anything." I don't know why the women love me. But another time, in another voice he may say, " The women love me." Well, of course, I'm like, "yeah, sure they do." Only to find out it's true. They DO! And I do not know this side of him, yet for years, I have had a sense that something is very odd with him. Some years ago, a counselor said he was like a chameleon, being and doing whatever he perceived the situation required. Anyway, his lack of "knowing" this side of himself, causes me to wonder. And the different little "oddities" of behavior seem to paint a larger picture. Also, he lies. I know it and he knows it. He learned to lie at a very early age. I don't if lying is ever considered a "coping" mechanism or not, but in his case I think it might be. Also, there are times I 'THINK' he is lying, but have come to realize, he's not, he just doesn't KNOW his own truth. (Don't know if that makes sense)
He has been a good father, a hard worker, is very intelligent, has a good education, and finally has reached a measure of "success" professionally. But he suffered fairly serious abuse as a child and feels like his "personality did not develop" --like something is missing. (those are his words and he has referred to himself as being a f##### up man).
Anyway, getting back to the friend, that was really what made me start wondering because it just explains things to me. Although I know it's not wise "label" someone and I'm certainly not qualified to do that.

Originally Posted by pinksoil

What leads you to suspect he has DID?