[animexfangirl]

So, if you saw my post in the "New member introductions" (http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=87047) you'll know what's wrong with me.
However, it was only about a day or two ago when I actually found out I was having panic attacks and suffering from chronic depression and anxiety. Finding this out made me weep for about five minutes. I mean, I figured something was wrong with me, but not enough to think it was something as serious as this stuff.
I know, here, I'm not alone with my problems of having panic attacks, etc.
Though I really don't know what to do to help with it. I didn't talk to any counselors today because I wasn't feeling good to go to school, but being home was starting out okay. I ate and was on the computer and watched TV and cleaned up my room, which was probably one of my better distractions from my problems.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to school, but I'm scared to ride the bus. The thing I realized was, I had a panic attack on the bus one time. But that was before I even knew of anything that was wrong with me.
Anyway, I don't know what to do about being on the bus tomorrow. Any sort of vehicle transportation scares me and causes me to, well, "panic".
And today I was panicking more for some reason about death and dying and my "gravity" problem. I don't know why.
My mom wants to take me to an actual doctor, to get blood work, and see what's wrong with me, but I refuse. Needles petrify me to death.
Also, I was having a panic attack not long ago. My heart was racing and I was trying to do everything to calm down.
Is it possible to have a heart attack when you have a panic attack? Or a stroke? Or seizure? I'm constantly scared of this all happening.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( animexfangirl )))))))))))))))))

When you go on the bus can you take something to distract you, sometimes distractions can help.
My T has tried to convince me that a panic attack cannot cause a heart attack but I am unsure. I know you are afraid of needles but a good checkup could really help eliminate some dangerous conditions. Personally I am terrified of doctors but I know that if I don't take care of my body that working on the other stuff doesn't really matter. It is very important that you find out if there is a physical cause to your symptoms.

[animexfangirl]

Thanks for the tip.
I bring my iPod on the bus, though. I pretty much always have since I got it.
And my other reason for not wanting to go to the doctor is because I'm afraid they'll tell me if I have cancer, a tumor, or I'll only have so long to live. Because my mom currently has cancer and her dad died last year because he had a tumor of cancer in his brain.
And the thought of all that scares me so much.

[Sannah]

Girl, could all of this be from your mom's cancer? I read your other post and a lot that you talk about could just be from you ignoring your feelings about this? Can you go to a therapist and talk about your feelings, especially concerning your mom's illness?

[animexfangirl]

^ It could be. I know it worried me that she might die when I first heard about it. Especially when she said there was no cure for her cancer yet. For right now she doesn't need to do the chemo treatments, but it's still scary.

I went to a counselor when I went back to school and she listened to everything I had to say. It was actually very helpful. I talked to a friend as well, and whenever anyone asked me how my Christmas vacation went I tell them sucky and if they ask why I tell them about my panic attacks, etc.

I have to say, so far, my whole "gravity" problem has vanished quite a bit. I've been outside for the past two days doing what I would normally have done before all of this hit me.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by animexfangirl

I have to say, so far, my whole "gravity" problem has vanished quite a bit. I've been outside for the past two days doing what I would normally have done before all of this hit me.

Could it be because you talked about it?

[animexfangirl]

^ I'd think so. When I talked to her, it was like she was actually sitting and listening carefully. And she'd ask me questions, like when I told her about my death and dying problem she asked me what I wanted to know about it and I had the typical questions of "where do we go?", etc.

Not that my mom didn't listen or anything, but it was like all she could do was just nod at me, like she knew what was wrong with me.