Well, it's a recent thing
most of the time I don't care
But there are times where the color red in the environment in concerning, and I try to avoid it as much as possible.

You see, when Satchell first introduced herself she specifically stated the phobia of the color red. Who knows why. The only explanation was that it was a very scary color.

The fear of red never came up again, so I just assumed it was a one time thing...

Until one day
I was in writer's guild
And was writing with a red pen

It made me really, really anxious
and crappy feeling
And acting weird
because at that specific moment
it seems
she saw through me
and at that red ink
and freaked out
pleading with me in her child-like voice to make the red go away

Since then,
I try to avoid red at times
Not ALL of the time
I'd say 90% of the time I don't care
but the other 10% I get extra-cautious to remove as much red from the environment as possible.

To avoid that from happening again.

Also, some things are more concerning then others
For examples, the red icons/smilies don't bother me much
But I was thinking about changing the color of the eyes of the cat (luna!) in my icon, because the eyes are red.

I'm not exactly sure why I'm posting this ow but, I don't know, it felt important to talk about I guess?

It's so weird

[Sannah]

Kaika, you have a history of SI? If so, is it related to this?

Yes, but it's not related to this

I don't mean to be annoying by posting again, but I wanted to know if anyone else had any opinions on this.

It makes no sense to me. (Heck, a lot of things surrounding this issue don't make sense to me) I've had a good childhood. Oh sure there were a few bumps like moving around a lot and having divorced parents, bullies and stuff. I can see how that'd have some effect on a person today, but the crap I'm going through now and have been going through would be suggestive of someone who has lived through well...more crap then I have. So of course this makes me doubt everything about myself, whether it be that my memories are untrustworthy (which has been shown before) or that all of my problems are brought on by myself because I want to fit in (which...makes more sense).

Okay, you can add hands to the same list as red.
What the title of said list shall be, I don't know

Seriously, sometimes I get sensations in my hands and arms, like a hand within a hand. I was going to get a picture to illustrate this but then the sight of hands elicited an emotional response of sad and scared. Looking at my own hands makes me feel ill.