Medical System Turning Nervous Folk Into Criminals- I Need Help

TRIGGER: Mention of narcotic nerve pills, drug abuse, and terminal illness.

I have been thinking SERIOUSLY about buying ANXIETY meds off the black market. Now, I'm not talking about illegal drugs. I'm talking about perfectly legal medicine designed for the purpose of calming your anxiety. So, why not just go to the dr? Because they will NOT prescribe Xanax or Valium for anxiety where I live. Why? Because so many people abuse them. Also, if you are dying from some terminal illness, and in horrific pain, forget getting Oxycontin at the local hospital. They say even if your reg. doctor prescribed them to you, they will not refill your prescription when you run out, even if you are out and can't see your reg. doctor for a few days- you just suffer. Why? Because some dumb doctors prescribed them to folks who didn't need them, and they either got high on them or sold them. So now, they're going the other extreme.

I cannot get valium or xanax because basically no one here can, unless you do so illegally, and I am telling you, I need help. I want help so badly. I've been sitting here crying and repeating my new mantra, "I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be this person, I don't want to be this person, I don't want to be like this, ANYMORE," with tears streaming down my face. I promise you, I don't want to get high. IF I did, I personally would prefer other drugs besides a nerve pill. I just genuinely want something to get rid of this. My aunt has TERRIBLE anxiety to the EXTREME, and they will not give her xanax or valium. Before I considered xanax, a dr. I asked for anxiety meds (dunno if I said any kind or if I specified a kind that was not addictive) told me he was wondering if I was gonna ask for xanax (I never did) because he said he "knew" when people asked for it, they wanted to get high. But I swear, xanax would be so far down my list on drugs I'd want to take for "fun". I just don't want this anxiety, anymore. I feel like the local medical and legal system tangle is causing people sick with anxiety to be labeled criminals as we are forced to turn to the illegal purchase of LEGAL options for help, simply because our physicians refuse to make them accesible to us, as they are to the rest of my country. And I seriously doubt it is curbing the drug prob. at all because the drug addicts buy them from local dealers, or travel out of state for them.

Zoloft does not work for me. Clonopin is a no go. Paxil, uh-uh. And so on. Best attempt was vistaril, but it gives me dry mouth and it has to build up in my system for days to be affective enough. I had a man tell me he took xanax for anxiety and it didn't make him feel stoned. The dr. told me it would make you feel out of it. I don't want to feel out of it. But this guy said it never made him feel that way AND he said it made him feel perfectly at ease. Another lady said she had taken them for anxiety and if she took them at night, she was groggy the next day, but didn't feel stoned. And she said they worked wonderfully. Another guy said as long as he didn't take too much, they didn't make him feel stoned, but did help make him calm.

I know they are supposed to be addictive, but really, isn't zoloft, paxil, prozac, etc.? They say they're not, BUT they also say not to quit cold turkey. Why? Because our bodies and minds become dependant on them. We should wean ourselves off of them if we intend to quit. What is that called? Addiction. Physical addiction. So, excuse me for not seeing the diff. I am not trying to encourage people not to take their meds. If you need them, you need them. And the dr. can help you go off of them if you need to. I am just saying, what is the difference? I just want to feel calm. Anxiety is so limiting. I don't want to have to deal with this anymore. I don't want to abuse them. I just want them for when I need help. I want them prescribed. I don't want to have to pay outrageous prices and buy them illegally, risking arrest, job loss, etc. I just want help. But the doctors won't prescribe them.

I used to know all kinds of drug dealers, but they had several huge busts, and shut these people down. So now, I don't personally know anyone who deals. The people I know who know dealers are inaccesible to me at this moment. I am freaking out. I don't even know if xanax will work for me or if it will make me feel out of my head, etc. I want to be pefectly at ease, but I also want to be alert, as well as calm. And I don't want to be foggy headed. I want to be able to think as well as normal. I just need help.

I do public speaking alot and have a performance coming up. I am scared my anxiety will make it impossible to do it well and I hate dealing with the fear, but I am tired of letting it hold me back, so I agreed to do it. Now I am crying because I am scared about what might happen. I don't have any meds to help me. People say just get over it, but I can't.

totally agree. My suggestion, smoke pot. And if you ask me, pot is not addicting, you can't overdose-I don't know of anyone that has and it helps with anxiety,pain,nausea and vomiting, and insomnia. If I didn't have a job that drug tested, I would use it, but since it is illegal, I am on 4 medications instead and marijuana would cure it all if it was legal. It doesn't make sense to not give people medications they need and if you have to take xanaz for the rest of your life to help with anxiety so you can function, then so be it. I have had the horrible panic attacks and they have been so horrible that I have actually thought I would rather be dead than have to feel this way. The government needs to stay out of people's lives and stop concerning themselves with what we put in our bodies.

I hope your public speaking event goes smoothly Locust, that the fear will not get in the way.....Those that say just get over it they know nothing.

I found this link, online psychiatric drugs with no prescription needed.

http://www.medrx-one.com/

((((((((((((( Locust ))))))))))))))
Can you change doctors to one out of town? In my experience with the meds that doctors consider addictive they wont give it to you if you ask for it so go in with an open mind to try what they offer. Do you have a pdoc? My regular doctor doesn't prescribe xanax much but my pdoc does after you try several other meds.
I hope that your speaking event goes well, have you tried any relaxation techniques? Sometimes those can be more helpful then meds.

I agree 100% with you. I have had a panic diorder for years and I asked my doctor about it and he told me to come back when I had a "real" medical problem. B.S. I know. So I found a doctor that will give me my xanax and zoloft. My husband has Crohns disese and he is quite often in excruciating pain and the same doctor refused him any pain meds or even his immune-suppressent. He went to the doctor I found and all of his pain meds 2x a month and his other meds once a month. My new dr. compleatly understands that active drug addicts are making life for people with real medical problems hard. Considering my documentation starting from the 3rd grade and my husbands diagnosis from 2 GI docs and and family doc you would think he could've gotten some help.