[idontknow13]

I have been living with depression most of my life, have been on anti-depressants for quite a while. This past year has been quite eventful. First, I separated from my husband of 13 years (found out he was'nt who he said he was, lots of secrets,etc...), had to sell the house, had an operation, moved to a new town, trouble with one of my daughters who is narcissistic, ex almost dies from virus (we are still best friends) comes back to life, daughter gets pregnant, looses baby, gets infection, creates a lot of stress, mother has a psychotic episode due to antibiotics, lots of family problems around the holidays and finally car accident, car totalled (financial worries) and all through this I was being harassed at work by a colleague. For the last 2 months, been going around with my head cut off, did not know what to do, doctor suggested taking time off work, I did not want because I am a very responsible person and work was the only thing keeping me going. Finally, I had to give up, I am on medical leave for now, not getting better, going to see a therapist today, very scared, on top of suffering from depression-burn-out, now I beleive to be suffering from horrible anxiety.
I dont have much of a support system and I tend to push away the people who want to help.
I have been reading a lot on the forums and I dont feel as alone now. There are others like me who can maybe understand how I feel, I hope to find understanding because as many of you probably know, people on the outside just think Get off your *** and get with it!
For the last year, I kept telling myself: What doesnt kill you will make you stronger, well I am not SuperWoman....
I am so scared, anxious, just want to crawl in a small hole.
I just dont know how to get out of this.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( idon'tknow ))))))))))))))
How did your appointment go? It sounds like you have had a lot going on in your life, I hope things get better for you soon.

[idontknow13]

Originally Posted by gimmeice

((((((((((( idon'tknow ))))))))))))))
How did your appointment go? It sounds like you have had a lot going on in your life, I hope things get better for you soon.

thanks gimmeice for taking the time to write to me, it means a lot to me,
my appointment went well, it clicked with the therapist and in just one session she made me realize I am not ready to go back to work, I have a lot of issues to deal with before, but I am still so scared, scared of going back, scared of not going back, scared of living. Went to see your blog, read a bit, I liked your Xmas blog, I know exactly how you felt..
thank you again for caring.

[Pomegranate]

((((idontknow13)))) You are going through more than what any simple human could endure, especially without support and professional help. I'm glad you are going to see a therapist. Keep seeking all the professional help you can get. Keep reading and posting here. I tend to be a person who stays to myself and I find Psych Central very helpful.

I don't know what more to say about all the difficulties you have in your life right now, except "that's alot!"
But take care of yourself first. Maybe try thinking of a good friend that you care very much about was telling you your story. What would you say to her? How would you treat her? Now do that for yourself. Give yourself a break. Treat yourself. And get all the help you can.