 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
 |
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
Apr 19, 2009, 11:16 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am full of questions today I guess. I was just curious if anyone else walks around feeling like people don't like them? Sometimes I think I don't even know who I am because I change my personality according to how the other people around me act. If I go to the bar and there are college guys there I start acting like an 18 year old sorority girl, if I am with my buddy who is a nuclear physicist I only talk about politics and science, if I am with my military buddies I am playing video games and telling dirty jokes, and when I am around men I don’t know I become flirtatious and overtly sexual even though I am not comfortable with actual intimacy and sex with my own husband most of the time (my mother thinks I have always gotten validation from men being attracted to me and has told me this since I was 12). Even when I know the people well I am still always so nervous around them. I automatically feel like nobody really likes me, they all pretend to be nice to my face but I get the feeling that I irritate them or that they are talking about me behind my back. Because of this, I have one friend that I really feel knows who I am but even she has said that she notices my personality changes when I am around other people. How can I get over being so paranoid that everyone doesn't like me? I get that some people just won't like me, and I have even dealt with that recently when I found out some girls that are always so sweet to my face were spreading strange rumors about me and talking behind my back, (I mean grow up right? You are getting your doctorates and still acting like you are in high school), but it just reinforced the thought that maybe nobody really likes me no matter who I try to be. Anyone else ever felt like this and is there a way to get over it and not give a crap what people think?
|
|
#2
Apr 19, 2009, 02:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Dx: PTSD, Panic Disorder, Obsessive Personality Disorder. A Do Da Quantkeeah A-da-nv-do |
|
#3
Apr 19, 2009, 08:34 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
If you care about what everyone thinks about you it will pull you in all sorts of ways and really mess with your boundaries, identity, and empowerment................
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#4
Apr 21, 2009, 11:20 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Yes, when I was younger I was just like you.
When I became aware of those feelings you describe, I started paying more attention to them and myself and how I was acting. Then when I found myself acting in ways that felt phony or simply "not me" I tried to check in and just act how I was really feeling. Which at first was mostly anxious and unsure of myself. So I would just try to quietly blend in and have fun without "acting" or simply be quiet and if I felt too uncomfortable I would leave. As I paid more attention to myself and my feelings in these different situations, and then spent time later giving it some thought and checking in with how I really felt, the more able I became at simply getting to know myself and to act like who I really was. I learned what I was really interested in, how I really felt, what I really thought was funny or not, etc. etc. It was a learning process that took a few years, was uncomfortable at times but in the end was worth it. I felt more confident in myself. I made some changes in people I hung around with, and I was better able to distinguish between genuine people who did like me and those who were phonies or simply didn't like me because of their own issues. Also there's a phrase I heard, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Be someone who gives their friends & family support and acceptance. Look for people who support and accept you. Then it all starts to sort itself out.
__________________
 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings." 
|
|
#5
Apr 21, 2009, 12:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Is anyone else worried that people don't like you?
Yes, I worry about that almost all the time
__________________
"Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness" |
|
#6
Apr 22, 2009, 09:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I feel your pain! I always worry that people dont like me and are just being nice because they feel sorry for me. My personality does not change though I feel like I am always shy and scared!
__________________
"I've learned that the world won't change just because I complain" (but I do it anyway..) Katie 
|
|
#7
Apr 22, 2009, 12:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Hi Im roxy, and I have to say that I did used care alot about what people thought of me, what I looked like, what I said or did, what they said about me. It used to drive me crazy. YOu really so have to let it go. You are a good person Im sure, and what other people think cant matter it will run your life. I worry about the ones you love and love them back thats what matters most.     Roxy
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
