[Juliaspavlov]

I started a new anxiety class.
it goes for 9 weeks
we got homework and had to figure out a reward
my homework which i chose...was to buy something unimportant...
seeing as i am afraid to spend money...
so i bought an ice block mould...I got dizzy and later had a headache...
I rewarded myself with sherbert...my favourite candy.
next time i will try to pick a reward that is not to do with food..

a little bit backfired...the new ice block mould doesnt fit
in the freezer!!! oh well next time might be better.

has anyone else tried a challenge and reward?

[Juliaspavlov]

so this week my homework is;
not to apologize for myself on Friday
I chose Friday because thats when I
look at a renting situation....
I apologize usually for everything
even when people bump into me
for example...

my reward for the challenge will be writing more of a book (a kids book
called "The lollipop Lady" with funny pics (my daughter will draw)

for example the lollipop lady holds up her crossing sign
and little ballerinas cross the road in their tutus in dance
positions......now I don't want anyone stealing my idea(that has
happened about 4 times to me)

[ECHOES]

I had to pry myself out of home where I wanted to stay except for work or other important appointments such as therapy. Could not do it for pure enjoyment or for social interaction, etc. Anyway, I do love books. So I used that to ease myself 'out'. I would go to the bookstore, enjoying the drive there and listening to a favorite CD (pre-reward? lol. encouragement, I suppose) and then I stayed at the bookstore as long as I felt comfortable AND I did not rate myself or judge myself on how long I was able to feel comfortable, how long I could stay. Sometimes it was not for long at all. But it did get better and I stayed longer, and now I usually can -- just because I want to! ---go and enjoy the books, etc. and the coffee shop, where I sit a while and browse some books I'm interested in or that I bought. It is probably a minor event to some, but it is a major accomplishment to me

Familiarity is an issue for me. We all feel familiar but I seem to want to flee or avoid when faced with unfamimiliarity. But everything familiar.. begins as something unfamiliar, doesn't it

Still, I decided to stop at a different bookstore that is near my therapist. One of my twice weekly sessions is in the evening, several hours after work. But it is a distance from work to home and home to therapy, so there is no point going home after work. So I have eyed this new place for a while. Then I decided to just stop in before therapy (having that safe place to go right after) and I really just went in, looked around for about 5 minutes, checked out the coffee shop. I guess I was trying to make it familiar visually. The next week I went to the bookstore/coffee shop and bought a newspaper and had something to eat and coffee. Not quite a relaxing experience yet, but one step toward that. Unfamiliar becomes new. New becomes somewhat familiar. Somewhat familiar becomes comforting familiar.

My reward is the experience and an added reward may be a book or a bookmark or a bag of the special coffee to go to enjoy at home which reminds me of my efforts and accomplishment.

*and* if I try, if I make the effort, but the outcome isn't what I hoped for, I still reward my effort. And I am gentle with myself and non-judgemental. "Next time, maybe" I tell mysefl.

Other rewards I have used: needlework supplies, relaxation CD, music CD.

I love your reward of giving yourself time to work on your book!

Originally Posted by Juliaspavlov

so this week my homework is;
not to apologize for myself on Friday
I chose Friday because thats when I
look at a renting situation....
I apologize usually for everything
even when people bump into me
for example...

my reward for the challenge will be writing more of a book (a kids book
called "The lollipop Lady" with funny pics (my daughter will draw)

for example the lollipop lady holds up her crossing sign
and little ballerinas cross the road in their tutus in dance
positions......now I don't want anyone stealing my idea(that has
happened about 4 times to me)

(((julia))))))))))))))))))))))))))) you are working so hard on yourself I am proud
keep up the good work
muffy

[Juliaspavlov]

Echoes (((hugs))) JUST SAW your post today.
That's great. goood job..

kind thoughts Jjulia

[Juliaspavlov]

my homework has been back firing

first it was to have a little party for my brother...
at first mum said it was ok. Then she
took back permission for it...it's complicated but
I had to SURF thru that as it was...an anxiety where
I get stood up or get presents taken back off me...

well my reward was to read in the bath....been reading
Pride and Prejudice again.

the next challenge was to invite someone to my house!
I did invite someone but they declined the invite!!
So I had to SURF thru that anxiety....
but I did go to a coffee with her and her husband
which takes more SURFING because of my anxiety in
coffee shops! PHEW!!!

my reward was a DVD ..I got Franco Zeffirelli's
ROMEO and JULIET....my favourite movie/

[Juliaspavlov]

I graduated and was given a certificate

hooray for me.
I even got a job.Caring for the elderly.
Phew...start next week...hope it goes well.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Juliaspavlov ))))))))))))))))