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Old 07-12-2021, 06:19 PM   #1
Dangerous
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Default Attached to T

I have been seeing my T for 4 years and know I am overly attached to him. I have BPD and cannot believe he cannot see how I really feel about him. My need for him is immense and he is the most important person in my life. I cannot end the “relationship” but feel it brings as many issues as it does help. I would never ever tell him as my fear of abandonment is so huge. I just feel instead of therapy helping me I’ve just created another huge unhealthy problem for myself.
Why on earth can’t he see this???
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Old 07-13-2021, 09:33 AM   #2
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Hi, Dangerous! Welcome to the forums.

I've had a similar experience of being too attached to someone for 3 years. I just recently ended all communication with him because like you, it has become a big problem. He had triggered my depression many times, and I had to decide to stop the relationship. It's really hard and I feel so lonely now. I'm sorry you're struggling with this, too. He might not be aware that you are too attached to him just like the person I'm talking about. I don't really have any helpful advice. I'm just here to say I understand how it feels like.
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Old 07-13-2021, 03:25 PM   #3
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Thankyou for your response….. how did you manage to let go?? Just a very strong will I guess?
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Old 07-13-2021, 07:05 PM   #4
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Old 07-14-2021, 04:16 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerous View Post
Thankyou for your response….. how did you manage to let go?? Just a very strong will I guess?
I experienced how it was like to be stable even during the pandemic when things became harder than usual. At the beginning of this year, he started texting me more and more. He was bored and needed someone to talk to. It was the same for me, but just this year alone, he hurt me twice — enough to trigger my depression. I asked myself why I keep falling into this trap. I realized that my life can't go on like this. I don't want my stability to be rocked by someone who doesn't even value my existence. These past few days, I've been missing him, but I know I'll get through this. That's one reason why I'm here. I find people here very supportive and it helped me a lot in terms of ending that unhealthy attachment. I already said goodbye and blocked him. I don't want to be dependent on him forever. It hurts and it takes a lot of courage, but I know it will be better for me in the long run.

It might sound selfish, but I had to realize that the most important person for me should be myself. If not, how would I be able to value myself and take care of myself? How will I keep a good relationship with the people I love if I'm not okay?
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Old 07-15-2021, 12:50 PM   #6
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Be careful with this T attachment. I ended up in a 9 year T relationship costing thousands of dollars. Your T knows I r attached. Most T approve of this attachment for us to heal; however, that same T could one day and fire you on the spot for crying in the office. Again be careful
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Old 07-18-2021, 10:45 AM   #7
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