[injuneer63]

Greetings to all. I am a new male member (63 years old) and came hear to listen (read), speak (write) and learn (absorb) your personal experiences (good and bad) in love relationships and how you have managed to make them last or why you think they didn't. I personally have been married 6 times (not to mention girlfriends in between) and after much therapy have been made aware of the following contributing causes:
A. 5 combat tours in Vietnam and having PTSD as a result
B. being exposed to Agent Orange (AO) which damaged my reproduction system thus never had children, a glue that binds couples together
C. developing prostate cancer which affects your love life dramatically
D. having ADD, which can make you very difficult to live with due to your disorganization, projects left unfinished, blurting (saying) things that hurt the feelings of loved ones, finishing sentences for them (disrespectful), answering questions before they're completely asked (rude), tuning people out when you are hyperfocused on TV, a project or something else (even ruder), and the many other faux pas (social blunders) that drive our loved ones absolutely nuts.

I'd like to know how ADD affects(ed) your relationships, how you dealt with the aftermath, how your family/spouse reacted either by helping or walking out the door. And any recommendations/suggestions for books to read, tips or strategies for coping with this stress in a positive way.

I am currently reading "Driven to Distraction" (recommended by therapist) which is EXCELLENT and read "I Am Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid" which I read when I was first "diagnosed" about 13 years ago.

[Perna]

Hi, injuneer63; welcome to PsychCentral (PC). Your post reminds me of my 69 year old brother; he's on marriage 4 (he and his wife have 8 marriages combined :-) but only had a couple tours of Vietnam; got thrown out of the Army as a major, a month from 20 years time (so no retirement or benefits) for alcoholism (he hasn't had a drink for about 30 years now) and his wife claims he has ADD (and we know he has PTSD but he's never done anything about that).

I think age has a lot to do with how one deals with ADD, we didn't have that when we were kids and as adults just kind of keep doing what we did before we knew what it was. My brother still works, doesn't ever want to retire and even though he built his own house and is active in church, has lots of projects around the house, etc. I think he'd be more of a mess if he did quit working. I've noticed he's "mellowed" through the years some, especially since our parents died, etc.

[kikki27]

Originally Posted by injuneer63

Greetings to all. I am a new male member (63 years old) and came hear to listen (read), speak (write) and learn (absorb) your personal experiences (good and bad) in love relationships and how you have managed to make them last or why you think they didn't. I personally have been married 6 times (not to mention girlfriends in between) and after much therapy have been made aware of the following contributing causes:
A. 5 combat tours in Vietnam and having PTSD as a result
B. being exposed to Agent Orange (AO) which damaged my reproduction system thus never had children, a glue that binds couples together
C. developing prostate cancer which affects your love life dramatically
D. having ADD, which can make you very difficult to live with due to your disorganization, projects left unfinished, blurting (saying) things that hurt the feelings of loved ones, finishing sentences for them (disrespectful), answering questions before they're completely asked (rude), tuning people out when you are hyperfocused on TV, a project or something else (even ruder), and the many other faux pas (social blunders) that drive our loved ones absolutely nuts.

I'd like to know how ADD affects(ed) your relationships, how you dealt with the aftermath, how your family/spouse reacted either by helping or walking out the door. And any recommendations/suggestions for books to read, tips or strategies for coping with this stress in a positive way.

I am currently reading "Driven to Distraction" (recommended by therapist) which is EXCELLENT and read "I Am Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid" which I read when I was first "diagnosed" about 13 years ago.

I had this where I could not focus when my sister was talking me I would tune her out by not meaning too do so and when I stared at the tv or computer when someone trying to talk too me It gotten too the point where I could not focus or stay still .So now that Iam on 20mg of ritalin I feel so much better now I can focus and not worrying about my family members being mad at me and calling me rude.I dont have problems with not being able to miss placed things.My family members at stop talking too me and they got tired of the adhd .Thats when I said enough is enough Iam going to go to a doctor for this and Iam so glad now cause I can have sit now and listen when people are talking too me instead of me talking over them and not letting me talk