need advice

I need help. My son is 12 years old and has been dx with ADHD. I am now having to deal with mood swings and a refusal to go to school. He is lashing out at everyone and I don't know what I should do or what to try. He is in counseling and was doing well until his counselor left and was replaced by Courtney the new one. I am trying to take the advice but it is getting hard and would really like some help. Also how can i find out if he may have other problems?

ask his therapist for a comprehensive psychological evaluation to rule out other mental disorders and also contact your family physicial to rule out any possible physical health problems. Also know 12 is the age both male and female children go through mood swings and so on due to hormonal imbalance of puberty. like a friend frequently tells me one munute she wants to hug the teens she has and the next she wants to attach cement blocks to their feet and drop them off the nearest pier because from moment to moment she doesn't know how to react to their moods so she just sits back and says "I'm here when you are ready, otherwise I'm going on with my day, thank you for flying friendly hormonal skys." The kids have actually started recognizing their moodyness with this same wittyness by letting people know they "need to back off while they come in for an emergency landing" It's so comical from my end to watch this playing out among the mom and two teens because they do it so well. One day the mom saw one teen having a rough time and it was only the beginning of the day so while the teen was busy crabbing and fussing about school and what to wear and who's who of the teen age get me today crowd she made the teen a "fly the friendly skys" lunch complete with a bag of peanuts (and a couple packages of gum and a borderline off color joke to share with friends) and slipped it into the teens back pack knowing the teen wouldn't have time to look in the back pack until his first class. The teen came home with a smile and hugged her for making his day with the lunch and making it easier by letting him know she understood teen pressure of fitting in with the gum.

What I've learned from her is you just take it one day at a time and use as much humor as possible to diffuse situations.

I'm with myself. Ask Courtney to do a complete assessment, and if she can't or won't, think about finding another therapist who will. I'm curious, what kind of advice are you getting?

First I'd like to say "Welcome" to PsychCentral.

And second, I agree with the other posts about getting a total psychological eval.

I have two teenage sons, one with ADD. We have struggled since he was 5 years old with his schooling. Just the past few months I have noticed a bit of a positive change ( just a little bit mind you-- but I'm relieved for anything positive) He just turned 17-- so I'm thinking that some of the rough times we went through lately were like "Myself" said, teenage hormones.

I wonder if the change in therapists has set your son back a little.... my son needs routine and doesn't cope well with change. Perhaps his new therapist can help him to cope with this new relationship-- and perhaps you can help by keeping things at home as routine as possible??.....

I have also found that pointing out any positives that my son shows has made him so much aware of what is actually a positive. Like one rule-- he has to call me every day if he isn't home by 4:30pm, to let me know where he is and what he's up to. When he does call, I always tell him "good job calling, that shows you're being responsible!" -- I can tell he feels proud about that. It's hard for us parents of ADD and ADHD kids to not get carried away with the negative-- but I have found-- I sure get better results by trying to accentuate the positives. And also like "Myself" said-- humor helps too!!
Good luck and let us know how it goes!!

mandy

I want to thank you for the advice. Courtney has told us that we are to force him to go to school and that we are to basically take everything away from him until he complies with the wishes of the adults. It seems to me that his emotions are to extreme. I understand having mood swings but to the degree that he does not remember what is said or done during an episode doesn't sound right.

Many people often forget what was said in the heat of the moment. They're too much in the 'red' to comprehend what's really going on. Have you asked him why he doesn't want to go to school? If I were you I'd tell him that I'd be marching down to his school myself and talk with everyone there possible, if it helped him get back in class. Most kids don't like their parents comin to the school talking with their teachers, principals, counsellors .. etc. He may willingly go just to prevent you from going yourself. Everyday HE doesn't go, you go instead. Make this a big deal. Hopefully he'll be forced into going in himself.

Maybe not such a good idea but at least it teaches him that you care and it's done in a positive and caring fashion. Find out what's bugging him. Maybe something's happening to him at school.

Maybe an evaluation from another pdoc. may help?
So often, kids get mis-diagnosed as being ADHD when actually they may be Bipolar, similar symptoms that overlap,being mistaken for ADHD. Which is sad, if a child or even an adult have been DXed with ADHD, and then prescribed meds for it, can really screw up things for a Bipolar. Bipolars can also be ADD, so in such cases, meds for both can be used, mood stabilizer and other meds the doctor feels will help minimize or remove symptoms.
Maybe you son has dual disorders, it's possible and not rare. Beauty part, is with a proper DX, by reputable psychiatrist, makes all the difference, helping the patient and family to a better life. Just, my 2 cents. I strongly feel, only psychiatrists should make the final DX, GP's, etc. are not qualifed, though they have the training in med school, it isn't the same, it's less intense, that is why we have specialists in all areas of medicine. A GP, or PA may have an idea of a DX from seeing the symptoms in a patient, suffering some sort of mental disorder(s) due to so many disorders having similar symptoms, but it is a specialist that would be best to follow through with, and any good GP will refer their patients to someone.
I hope things work out for you, I know how frustrating this can be for you and your child. My heart goes out to you both.
Take care,
DE


BTW
I have 2 DXes, ADD and Bipolar-II, take meds for both and have come a long way, in a positive sense.