Suspended from work for "bad attitude", haven't been taking meds..

This is kind of a rant post but I'm also reaching out to anyone who has experienced similar situations.

Okay, so I have a problem with impulsive spending, and therefor wasn't able to afford my ADHD meds in December (vyvanse 50mg @ $160 a month)-- also part of me wanted to figure out if i really even have it because im skeptical right now--

Please note that I haven't taken my meds today either and my thoughts are in and out (meaning that I have a good feeling that half of this post won't be in order or it won't make any sense).

When I'm on my meds it's almost like I feel high(I've never used drugs though, but I'm sure I've never felt like this before) and when I don't take my meds I feel somewhat depressed, over sleep, can't sleep at night, feel sluggish all day, irritable, upset easily. I'm not going to run you through that list because most of you already know it. But when I take my meds I feel very rushed to do things, like I'm aware that I can get SO much done because I think or truely believe that the meds help me focus and complete things, but yet i still have trouble while on meds.

When I don't take my meds i get moody and eventually have breakdowns, anxiety attacks and cry a lot. I also experience days or part of days where I feel like I have taken my medication. One day I thought I took my meds and at the end of the day I realized I hadn't by accident..but I didn't notice that I hadn't taken it. That made me think that maybe I don't even need them or that it was just psychological that if i think ive taken them then ill be fine.

I got suspended from work on new years eve (after my shift thankfully though) for 2 weeks, but I'm going away from the 18th-21st so they told me it would end on the 23rd. Thats 3 weeks and 2 days, not 2 weeks -.- .
It sounds like my bosses believe I make everyone act like me when I'm in a bad mood, it wasn't said like that but I ended up telling them that I haven't been taking my meds and what I had and things like that. I admit that I've had a bad attitude but I did take my meds during the busy shifts because I knew they'd help. What they're describing me as lately though, seems like someone who is bipolar, but my psychiatrist would have ruled that out if he thought it was that.

When I do take my meds I feel pressured and stressed and I sometimes feel like I can't calm down. Almost like the opposite of what they're supposed to do. My mood is better, I'm almost always laughing sometimes at nothing, and things happen and I brush it off like I don't care. It feels good to be on them, but I don't think they're supposed to make me switch "polar opposites" like that.

Any input to this? I guess I'm just wanting to know if anyone is in the same boat..

Hi Musics...I have no direct comparison suffice to say my trial with Concerta went awry, didn't produce the desired effect and I had to stop it. Since [last week] been put on Strattera but found my insurance doesn't cover it.[200+mnth]

Tomorrow I shall contact my psy-guy to inform him of this and we will undoubtedly try something else. These guys have no problem with hunting down the appropriate med.

Anyway...the upshot is...do you have any problem with approaching your Doc with the story you relate here? Undoubtedly you have followups with regards to these current meds. Right? Even if there's not a followup scheduled you can make one to mention your concerns. You're not bothering them I assure you.

As anyone or certainly many, can tell you here, most medications to do with mental health are things that have to be trialed for their effectiveness. If one doesn't quite work and is seemingly problematic then it's on to something else. That's the process.

I may be telling you what you already know. But here now...if this med isn't feeling quite right then it's up to you to question it and bring it to the Docs attention. You're NOT being a bother. Just sayin' that in case you might be a little inhibited or think you're being a bother. No way Musics....it's their job.

Overall do you think this med is a help or a hindrance? Sorry about the recent problems. Have you noted that this particular med may have extreme mood swings listed as a side effect? If this is something you think might be than that's one good reason to question it. Sudden mood swings are listed as one of the more severe side effects...something def. not a tolerable side effect. Deserves to be questioned....and looked into with your Doc. Yes?

Sorry for taking so long to reply, I was away for a little bit and kind of forget about my posts sometimes. I have since seen my pdoc and explained that I feel like my moods are up and down more than usual, he kept me on the same meds though, same dosage. I told him I was suspended from work because of my "attitude"(my boss's words) and mentioned that my bosses directly told me that i have bad mood swings. "One day you're really sad and annoyed at everything and take offense to the smallest things, the next you're fine" .. yes I am aware that they basically said they noticed my symptoms of adhd, but they weren't aware(until that conversation) that I had ADHD because I tend to feel like most people think that it's just another excuse for being rude or lazy or not working to the best of my abilities and I suffer because of it.

My pdoc didn't really think anything of it i guess, but I mean.. on the other hand if he thought they were a problem he would have said something, don't you think?

Thank you for replying by the way and again I apologies for my very late response.

Vyvanse is like Adderall mixed with an antidepressant. It's time released so you don't just "drop off" like Adderall will do. The antidepressant side it was makes you feel like that when you don't take them. It builds up in your system so even when you don't take it you can feel like you are still on it. The can't calm down side of vyvanse is just like your on Adderall. I hope this helps with some of the things that go on when you do and don't take them.

Thanks for the info! I actually haven't ever heard that before about it. That's good to know.

Yes that was a very interesting post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had a friend that would give me the vyvanse. i had to stop taking it cuz i got to dependent on it. i retain info on meds very well... i guess its just my training

I am taking anti-depressants and adderall. I am on an even keel now, no emotional outbursts or defensive attitude at work. My supervisor knows I take medication and is very supportive because he has seen how much my work has improved. I changed psychiatrists because he wasn't listening to me, the new one doubled my adderall and now I am able to be successful at work and work on my disorganization at home.