[Arwen_78]

Well, as I've been reading more and more about ADD I'm wondering if I might have some anxiety issues as well as borderline depression?

I've always been pretty positive person! Life is too short and the glass is half full type... so, where am I getting the depression? I've been sleeping a lot. I mean it's not an everyday thing but unless I'm out of my apartment or I'm working on stuff at home if I'm tempted to goto bed I will. Then I'll just end up napping off and on or flat out sleeping all day. I kinda care about the way I look, I like make-up and doing my hair but I'm ok with not wearing any make-up at all. I'll wash and do my hair once a week. Yet, I've gone back to my lazy half assed not wearing make-up at all. Then my apartment is a big mess, I actually am embarrassed how bad I've let it get. It's not a rats nest but it's not nice and neat.

I was also reading a book about how the diagnose ADD/Depression.Bio-Polar and 3 others. I was completely ADD but two I was closer to being Bio-Polar. Which I'm not Bio-Polar, but it made me thing because the two things are my worst qualities in my mind.

Some of my habits are more like mania in how I spend. I have so much stuff that I have once thrown away 6 trash bags of clothing and that was only half of what I had. I buy and buy yet I have my favorites and that is what I stick with most of the time. At this time I could more than likely do the same. Same goes for books. I'll get them but end up not touching them.

Next is being creative! It's not a bad thing to be creative just it sucks when it has nowhere to go. I'm really scared sometime as I like being creative but it's going nowhere for me. I'm really awesome at photography, writing and listening to music but daydreaming up how the artist should do the video. It's weird as I love this stuff, as far as to say it's what I'm passionate about, yet I can't make a living out of it. So, I decided to try my hand at computer programing at school as I also enjoy working problems out. I just can seem to get myself to get started on the without deadlines. Give me a deadline and I'll wait to very last minute and still pull and A-C grade in a subject I like.

I think this is long enough for now but what is going on with me? I want to fix my spending habits to save for trips and a "rainy day" but each time I set that goal I never make it. I don't want to rant or cry about it but I don't know to fix myself this time!

I seem to have problems when I can't get EVERYTHING my boss leaves for me to do, we both know that I won't get it all done as it's retail. Yet I Panic anyways! I mean why and it gets me nowhere!

[ShiningOne]

Many people may get depression from ADHD because it can lead to self esteem issues.
I think it's a great thing that you still care about your appearance and future career (computers are really growing in importance.)
Also does your school have a counseling center? Consider seeing a therapist and/or psychiatrist for your problems if you really feel unable to move on.

[avlady]

Arwen 78 Welcome!!!

[Arwen_78]

Originally Posted by ShiningOne

Many people may get depression from ADHD because it can lead to self esteem issues.
I think it's a great thing that you still care about your appearance and future career (computers are really growing in importance.)
Also does your school have a counseling center? Consider seeing a therapist and/or psychiatrist for your problems if you really feel unable to move on.

Yeah, I read that somewhere. I mean I'm ADD but only just started trying to make myself a better person. I'm seeing a psychiatrist as of a month and a half ago so I'm learning how I deal with things. That way I can better understand myself to give them a better understanding so it's easier for them to medicate me. I went through being medicated wrong as a teen and I stopped taking my meds after I turned 19 because of that.

I'm thinking about seeing how much it would cost me to see someone to help me keep my goals I have for myself. I just wonder if it would help me to know that even when the goal is a goal for myself someone else knows about it. I'm just thinking out load here. Ideas flying ago...love it.

[Arwen_78]

I just need to make it clear that I don't think I have any "real" self esteem issues. There was a time that I would say that I had them but not now. I'm in a better place than I was when I was married from 2001-2009. I use to look at myself trying nice sexy dresses on for night clubbing with friends and even when it was a nice dress... it never made me feel sexy. I'm with a great guy now and I can totally say that a few years ago was one of the first times in my life that I felt sexy in a sexy dress.

[Miswimmy1]

People with ADHD often experience depression in some time of their life. If you are really concerned about it, I would talk to your professional.

As for you thoughts on bipolar, it sounds to me like you are just dealing with the impulsive side of the ADHD. From what I've read about, bipolar is a lot more than just overspending and bouts of creativity. The downs are a lot lower than what you are describing and the highs are a lot higher. But then again, I would talk to your professional about it if you are worried.