[Scripture123]

Hi I am 13 years old (I guess quite mature for my age) and homeschooled in London and am pretty sure I have ADHD (though more of the adult/teens symptoms0 I won't go I to it now maybe if someone asks or in another post.

After doing 3 weeks research I decided to tell my mother because we are very close and have always had the relationship that if it was something serious I could be open with her so expected it to go something like this

"Mother I think I may have ADHD, I have seen these symptoms and they are affecting my life in so and so"
Okay, if you really think you have it I'll do a bit of research on the subject and see how we can help"
Instead it did not go very well with her response being I need to use my inner strength/willpower, if you go to a doctor all they will go is give you addictive narcotics you cannot live without, the big pharmaceutical companies want to give kids anti-depressants and narcotics, you don't have ADHD it's for screaming children bouncing off the walls, I studied medicine (gynaecology) so I should know a bit of something about these things, I should limit your time on the internet and put parental controls because there us too much information out there, you're being manipulated and brainwashed once they got you you're "theirs", I know I gave birth to a perfectly normal child, in my day/country we didn't have ADHD it's a western thing and people managed, in other country's if you say you're having mental illness they'll give you a few slaps on the face and lock you outside until you sort yourself out, me I wanted to go to the dentist because I thought I had something I didn't, how people want to be "Labeled", an acquintance she met who had forced the doctor to diagnose her with something which after a long time he did with ADHD and she was not allowed to testify in court until she got a second opinion to say nothings wrong, how I'm putting negative things in my head and what the brain thinks is what the brain gets, stories about people that went of medication and are now doing fine, I should take you out of homeschooling (which is one of the main reasons I was reluctant to say anything for so long because I feel that with the right help homeschooling could really get me far in life) etc...

I kind of got my inspiration to speak again from these forums, she had done a "bit" of research over the past 2 days and basically told me that everybody has ADHD and l should just work it out myself.
Of course making me upset because l have been trying, and l know the diffrence from "everybody has ADHD" and "ADHD". Maybe in another post l will say how much l have been trying to do things from a younger age.

Like i said I really got my inspiration to speak again and again from these forums and the Reddit forums and reading stories about how much ADHD affects your future and the regrets of not doing something earlier, which is how l got the courage to talk everyday.

l told her how l want medication, I was told how they're addictive narcotics and if l take them l won't be able to go without them. - l replied they are mainly addictive to people without ADHD.

That they casuse problems with the heart and other side effects - my reply was all medicines have side effects and went on to explain how l take asthma medicine even though they have side effects, she replied with how you can get asthma medicines over the counter and with these you need a prescription as for the side effects you have to take diffrent ones to see which ones work for you.
She also read that they make people docile robots that can concentrate and get good grades but loose all their creativity, personality etc...

An hour later she started watching this video on youtube about a doctor who's son had ADHD and who is now doing better due to a change of diet and now she wants to create a kind of system for every individual symptoms along diet and excercise for the next 6 months and if it doesn't work l "may" go to a doctor if she doesn't change her mind and decide l need a boarding school.
The thing is l genuinly want to do all that stuff along with medication and specialist help, l am also studying trading which l have taken a great interest in but can not go very far because of what l am not going to say ADHD yet and should have already started.

Today we were again arguing about this so l asked her to be honenst with me about what she thinks l'm doing and wanting as she has been going back to "don't expect any doctor or anyone to fix your problems for you" and she told me that I am just trying to "find" and excuse and want to be "labeled" for my lack of work (that was just a major blow to the heart and is even now) and that she gave me too much autonomy with taking me out of school and was not disciplined, if any parent asked her if she is happy she homeschooled she would say she regrets it and ho w she is a bad parent, l do not know how much but she has seemed to do a bit of researchh on ADHD but does not believe this is a genetic order as l was born normal (l tried to explain) and for a bit had a theory that it was because l was so unhappy and unchallenged in school that l didn't concentrated l never "snapped out of it", my brain didn't tell myself it's safe now and l'm in an ok enviroment.
She is the type of person that believes that you can pretty much change anything about yourself and your situation by doing something about it and believing in yourself, which has worked for her, and I acknowledge that about her, but it does not work and has not worked the same for me.
She kept saying that she understood me, but she was saying things that meant she does not actually understand me or my ADHD at all.

So I was wondering how do you deal with this??? I mean my mom is actually the person who knows me the best, she says its juts another excuse for me being like I am, and another way to run away from my true problem which according to her is lack of discipline from being homeschooled.

I understand because in primary school l always had great grades but only cause I actually did not need to sit and study like my peers, I was simply a fast learner (back then).. I did not struggle until l started homeschooling when I actually had to sit down and do projects and learn new things not just factors of division basics, looking back l also had aa few mild symptoms of ADHD.
And now that I am living in the real world and working college level I feel even more overwelmed.

We went to a GP not out of and idk moment due to the fact that we were already there and she asked me to tell the doctor if l would like to add anythingl decided to tell her, it went the usual NHS way, are you sure, sometimes l get a bit - ? i do believe in ADHD but it's so vauge? l really had to fight my point so she said that she's obviously not qualified to do anything so the best she can do is send me to CAHMS, which l've had a bad experience with due to the fact l was taking a lot of medication at the time and they thought maybe it was due to a mental problem that was making me sick. It was not. They were also very keen on having my dad over at the time and l do not want that now as my dad doesn't know that l'm homeschooling and also quite old fashioned, so l want to know if they are allowed to force me?
I also have read about the UK's knowledge on ADHD and it doesn't look great considering l did well in school, l have no more records after 10 and my mother doesn't believe me so l think a private doctor who knows and specialises in these things would be better and although money isn't much an issue l don't see that happening, if l decided to kep shut that day l probably would have been stcuk for l don't know how long.

Please help l don't know what to do now, l've been crying everday, and it's been 5 weeks now that l metioned this. I can't do or go anywhere on my own, l have no trusted adult to talk to especially someone that knows about this and l can see the role that ADHD plays in your future even my present and am justt so stuck it feels like everyday l don't get treatment has been a waste, it feels so awful knowing that my life really could be better so easilly but won't because of l don't know what opinion. l don't want to wait until l'm 16 to gwt help l'm even to the point of wanting to drink coffee which l hate and don't want to start.
Please don't give advice on stopping homeschooling even if you think that's the cause and give advice on a situtation like this. Please tis has really been an emotinonal rollercoaster for me sometimes l think she understands and l'm going to get treatment the next its l'm going to have t o be like this until l'm 16.
l'm also scared like if l do get diagnosed will l use itt as an excuse? ls it bad that l really want medication to help?
Thank you.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Scripture123, and welcome to Psych Central! My son was diagnosed with ADD when he was in high school. He took meds, but when he went off to college he decided to go without them. He has learned some techniques to help him to work around his issues.

Since your mom is not supportive about having you tested, then is there a way you can get hold of a book that can give you some pointers? Or read here and maybe folks will tell you what they do, besides meds, to function well.

Please don't panic. You are the same guy with or without a label. When you get to be an adult (I assume at 18, like here in the U.S.), then you can get evaluated and if need be, treated.

My thoughts, anyway. What do you other folks think?

[Nemo39122]

I can relate to this in a way...I was homeschooled too and although I never directly confronted my mom to tell her I was having problems, it was very obvious. Her attitude about it was similar, she just seemed to think I was being lazy or stubborn and just didn't want to do my work. I made it through high school, to be completely honest by half the time sneaking a look at the answer books and writing most of the answers correct.
It wasn't until the first semester of paramedic school (almost exactly a year ago) that I finally told her about it and she luckily took it seriously...I guess because she realized I was doing something I really wanted to do and still having problems. I've been on Adderall since then and it's made a huge difference.

As far as meds, I do understand her concerns a little bit...a lot of adhd meds, like Adderall for example, are pretty strong drugs that have a tendency to be abused. I'm not saying you would do that, though. But, there are some meds out there that are for ADD/ADHD that aren't stimulants. I can't think of the names at the moment, but maybe look into that? She may be more willing to let you try those.
Good luck

[Werewoman]

Scripture123,

You might want to read my post about ADHD success stories if you haven't already.

I barely passed high school, but I had a 3.5 GPA in post-secondary studying digital electronics so apparently I'm not a complete idiot. I'm 52 and was not diagnosed until I was 40. I took the usual meds (adderall, ritalin, etc.) and frankly, in the end, decided that it was stupid to take dangerous drugs for a so-called disorder that only bothered other people.

Okay, that's kind of mean, I suppose, but even at 13, you have some say over this and I think you are obviously smart enough to decide what if any treatment you want to try.

I felt really validated and liberated after reading a book called, "The Edison Gene, The Gift of the Hunter Child". You and your mother both might benefit from reading it as well. I don't take meds and never will for my ADHD. The people around me who love and understand me support my decision and have learned to cope as I have.

ADHD is not a curse or a disease or even a 'disorder'. It's a DIFFERENCE. We are different that the majority of the population. We learn differently, we think differently, and we learn differently but anyone who says we have a disorder, in my opinion, is a bloody idiot.

My two cents, for what it's worth...

I hope it helps you look at yourself in a different light and accept yourself as you are as I have though I suppose it's possible that my attitude and methods don't work for everyone.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by Scripture123

Hi I am 13 years old (I guess quite mature for my age) and homeschooled in London and am pretty sure I have ADHD (though more of the adult/teens symptoms0 I won't go I to it now maybe if someone asks or in another post.

After doing 3 weeks research I decided to tell my mother because we are very close and have always had the relationship that if it was something serious I could be open with her so expected it to go something like this

"Mother I think I may have ADHD, I have seen these symptoms and they are affecting my life in so and so"
Okay, if you really think you have it I'll do a bit of research on the subject and see how we can help"
Instead it did not go very well with her response being I need to use my inner strength/willpower, if you go to a doctor all they will go is give you addictive narcotics you cannot live without, the big pharmaceutical companies want to give kids anti-depressants and narcotics, you don't have ADHD it's for screaming children bouncing off the walls, I studied medicine (gynaecology) so I should know a bit of something about these things, I should limit your time on the internet and put parental controls because there us too much information out there, you're being manipulated and brainwashed once they got you you're "theirs", I know I gave birth to a perfectly normal child, in my day/country we didn't have ADHD it's a western thing and people managed, in other country's if you say you're having mental illness they'll give you a few slaps on the face and lock you outside until you sort yourself out, me I wanted to go to the dentist because I thought I had something I didn't, how people want to be "Labeled", an acquintance she met who had forced the doctor to diagnose her with something which after a long time he did with ADHD and she was not allowed to testify in court until she got a second opinion to say nothings wrong, how I'm putting negative things in my head and what the brain thinks is what the brain gets, stories about people that went of medication and are now doing fine, I should take you out of homeschooling (which is one of the main reasons I was reluctant to say anything for so long because I feel that with the right help homeschooling could really get me far in life) etc...

I kind of got my inspiration to speak again from these forums, she had done a "bit" of research over the past 2 days and basically told me that everybody has ADHD and l should just work it out myself.
Of course making me upset because l have been trying, and l know the diffrence from "everybody has ADHD" and "ADHD". Maybe in another post l will say how much l have been trying to do things from a younger age.

Like i said I really got my inspiration to speak again and again from these forums and the Reddit forums and reading stories about how much ADHD affects your future and the regrets of not doing something earlier, which is how l got the courage to talk everyday.

l told her how l want medication, I was told how they're addictive narcotics and if l take them l won't be able to go without them. - l replied they are mainly addictive to people without ADHD.

That they casuse problems with the heart and other side effects - my reply was all medicines have side effects and went on to explain how l take asthma medicine even though they have side effects, she replied with how you can get asthma medicines over the counter and with these you need a prescription as for the side effects you have to take diffrent ones to see which ones work for you.
She also read that they make people docile robots that can concentrate and get good grades but loose all their creativity, personality etc...

An hour later she started watching this video on youtube about a doctor who's son had ADHD and who is now doing better due to a change of diet and now she wants to create a kind of system for every individual symptoms along diet and excercise for the next 6 months and if it doesn't work l "may" go to a doctor if she doesn't change her mind and decide l need a boarding school.
The thing is l genuinly want to do all that stuff along with medication and specialist help, l am also studying trading which l have taken a great interest in but can not go very far because of what l am not going to say ADHD yet and should have already started.

Today we were again arguing about this so l asked her to be honenst with me about what she thinks l'm doing and wanting as she has been going back to "don't expect any doctor or anyone to fix your problems for you" and she told me that I am just trying to "find" and excuse and want to be "labeled" for my lack of work (that was just a major blow to the heart and is even now) and that she gave me too much autonomy with taking me out of school and was not disciplined, if any parent asked her if she is happy she homeschooled she would say she regrets it and ho w she is a bad parent, l do not know how much but she has seemed to do a bit of researchh on ADHD but does not believe this is a genetic order as l was born normal (l tried to explain) and for a bit had a theory that it was because l was so unhappy and unchallenged in school that l didn't concentrated l never "snapped out of it", my brain didn't tell myself it's safe now and l'm in an ok enviroment.
She is the type of person that believes that you can pretty much change anything about yourself and your situation by doing something about it and believing in yourself, which has worked for her, and I acknowledge that about her, but it does not work and has not worked the same for me.
She kept saying that she understood me, but she was saying things that meant she does not actually understand me or my ADHD at all.

So I was wondering how do you deal with this??? I mean my mom is actually the person who knows me the best, she says its juts another excuse for me being like I am, and another way to run away from my true problem which according to her is lack of discipline from being homeschooled.

I understand because in primary school l always had great grades but only cause I actually did not need to sit and study like my peers, I was simply a fast learner (back then).. I did not struggle until l started homeschooling when I actually had to sit down and do projects and learn new things not just factors of division basics, looking back l also had aa few mild symptoms of ADHD.
And now that I am living in the real world and working college level I feel even more overwelmed.

We went to a GP not out of and idk moment due to the fact that we were already there and she asked me to tell the doctor if l would like to add anythingl decided to tell her, it went the usual NHS way, are you sure, sometimes l get a bit - ? i do believe in ADHD but it's so vauge? l really had to fight my point so she said that she's obviously not qualified to do anything so the best she can do is send me to CAHMS, which l've had a bad experience with due to the fact l was taking a lot of medication at the time and they thought maybe it was due to a mental problem that was making me sick. It was not. They were also very keen on having my dad over at the time and l do not want that now as my dad doesn't know that l'm homeschooling and also quite old fashioned, so l want to know if they are allowed to force me?
I also have read about the UK's knowledge on ADHD and it doesn't look great considering l did well in school, l have no more records after 10 and my mother doesn't believe me so l think a private doctor who knows and specialises in these things would be better and although money isn't much an issue l don't see that happening, if l decided to kep shut that day l probably would have been stcuk for l don't know how long.

Please help l don't know what to do now, l've been crying everday, and it's been 5 weeks now that l metioned this. I can't do or go anywhere on my own, l have no trusted adult to talk to especially someone that knows about this and l can see the role that ADHD plays in your future even my present and am justt so stuck it feels like everyday l don't get treatment has been a waste, it feels so awful knowing that my life really could be better so easilly but won't because of l don't know what opinion. l don't want to wait until l'm 16 to gwt help l'm even to the point of wanting to drink coffee which l hate and don't want to start.
Please don't give advice on stopping homeschooling even if you think that's the cause and give advice on a situtation like this. Please tis has really been an emotinonal rollercoaster for me sometimes l think she understands and l'm going to get treatment the next its l'm going to have t o be like this until l'm 16.
l'm also scared like if l do get diagnosed will l use itt as an excuse? ls it bad that l really want medication to help?
Thank you.

You are amazing. BUT - I hate that you have so much worry over this...
understanding what is going on with you and learning ways to make this better for you at such an early age is going to be so helpful to you. Science is doing a much better job with helping us change the brain... with brain training and many times without medication - for any age. I wish you the very best...keep us updated

[brainhi]

Also, check out this site. They are on top of many new ways to change the brain. As your family makes decisions - always check the research/validation studies and the credentials of the doctor or organization making the claim:
Brain Fitness and Cognitive Health Authority: Market Research and Advisory Services | SharpBrains