[WantToGrow]

So, I went to a therapist for the first time today, first time seeking therapy in nine years. Not that anything really changed, just got tired of therapy. But, I'm also tired of the status quo which has never changed. I've only ever been in talk therapy and it truly doesn't make anything change.

I provided her with a list I made of about 40 things about me that make me think I have ADD, but also that I've been depressed all these years and even with meds it's never really been tractable. Questions about my lack of sex drive and was I sexually abused? She said, if you don't have memories, then forget about it - you'll just make yourself miserable trying to figure it out. I liked that!

Because I have such an ongoing negative dialogue in my mind about how incompetent I am, given all my lack of focus, memory, laziness, clutter, decision-making, lack of initiative, etc., she definitely said I have a depressive mind. I truly do have a problem being in the present, and my brain flits around all over the place.

She suggested doing grounding exercises. Has anyone here with ADD done this? I'm worried I will forget to do it. I'll set my alarm to remind myself. I'm just wondering if an un-medicated ADD/ADHD brain can benefit?

When I tried to do it I found it exhausting. I also tried vital's Snap Game and though it does keep me focused for that moment, it is also exhausting! I can only sustain the game for a short while before I feel exhausted and have to let it go for a bit.

Yesterday, I decided I just have to get the kitchen cleaned up some, looked like a bomb had gone off in there again, and I had been procrastinating. I put on Pandora with some fun alternative music, dance beat stuff, and felt energized to sustain some cleaning activity. I had forgotten how good music was for me. Anyone find music critical to accomplishing tasks?

[kaliope]

my t just got thru telling me the benefits of music and how relaxing it is. she wanted me to spend some time listening to it to see if it helped me. i prefer to sit in silence so i had a hard time with it.

[WantToGrow]

That's interesting. Too much quiet for me lets the inner demons voice themselves too much :-) I find upbeat, dance type music helpful to energize me to do things I don't want to do. And, though I can't sing, I find myself humming along or trying to sing parts of the songs I know, and that distracts my inner negative voice. I still burn out on a task after awhile and tend not to finish, but at least I'm in a more positive frame of mind while I'm doing it LOL!