[Tolvin]

For a brief background; I went to a private Montessori school from 1st to 6th grade where I excelled, was placed in a gifted and talented program and didn't have any serious issues. Once I entered the 7th grade I had to start going to the local public school. I managed that first year but soon after started to "rebel". I got increasingly bad grades, got in trouble (not physical), and in my 11th grade got into legal trouble for marijuana. Upon being placed on probation I made the decision that I should graduate so started taking night school courses. My senior year I completed 32 of the required 52 credits to graduate and walked with my class (something nobody thought was possible). I graduated with a GPA of 1.7 but with the help of my ACT score (30) I was able to get into the state university.

This is my the real story begins.

Upon going to my freshman year I immediately noticed that I was not able to manage myself. Within 3 weeks I had irreparably damaged my grades and continued to decline. During this time I also got a good job working in the school kitchen and managed to "quit" (not show up) within a month, and was arrested a second time for marijuana and MIC. In November I decided the semester was a complete blowout so I went back home to live with my parents. My parents, particularly my Mom, at this point had started looking into the possibility of me having ADD. I'll be honest I never did 1/10 of the research she did so I couldn't tell you all of the reasons why they decided I should see a psychiatrist.

Upon going to the psychiatrist I was given a preliminary diagnosis for ADD and was prescribed with Straterra. A few things to note are that I was 18 at the time of diagnosis and I am and was never hyperactive so this is an ADD diagnosis not ADHD. Which probably played a big role in nobody noticing throughout my childhood, along with my intelligence. I took the Strattera with a few hickups through August where I decided to go back to school.

Upon getting here I immediately noticed that the Straterra was not having the effects I needed it to. I was still daydreaming in class, I was still tardy, I forgot to do my homework. So I stopped taking it. During this time period I flunked out of all of my classes (again) and totalled my car. Soon after I started taking it again reluctantly due to an inability to talk with my mother and a few other things.

So I guess this is where I am. Thank you very much if you have made it this far. I don't really know where to go from here. While Strattera doesn't help me with school it does provide many things that I enjoy, like helping me interrupt people less, be more calm in conversations, and more cleanly and organized. But I resent that I am taking it for those reasons, before the diagnosis I had come to terms with many things in my life, all of those included with many others, I was learning to manage and had really started to etch out who I was as a person. This diagnosis threw me for a loop, not only is the likely hood of another mental condition high but I don't particularly enjoy identifying traits of my personality and being, and identifying them as bad or "fixable" especially with medication.

Another issue is my complete distaste for stimulants. I don't like them, I don't want them, but I fear they may be my only option for was I truly need in school.

So does anyone have any advice on how to cope with an adult diagnosis? Any medication ideas? I don't work out enough but am in decent shape. I also still regularly use marijuana. I am now 2 weeks into a new Strattera regime and can feel it helping already. Like I stated above though I am not very happy about taking it. Guess I am just not a pharmaceutical guy.

Thanks everyone.

[Egwene]

Vyvanse was awesome for me. Beware of Raynaud's phenomenon on stims though. You'll probably change your mind about stimulants once you've noticed how much better you do on them. It was like night and day for me. It made such a difference I cried after the first week, not believing I had spent so long THAT unable to focus or control my moods.

I don't like the idea of having to take ANYTHING indefinitely, especially CNS stimulants, which are addictive, but you have to weigh the gain with the risks. If you have a really severe attention disorder, it is worth it to take medication at least until you can figure out something better.

Good luck

[Egwene]

P.s. Thc is probably a bad idea, and since most gmo pot is modified to be extremely heavy on thc, you may do better without that addition to your medical plan.