[quasar2He4]

I'm a sophomore in high school and recently things have become overwhelming. I'm considered to be a bright student and I'm taking fairly difficult classes. I'm the principle violist in my school's advanced symphonic orchestra, am in marching band, English honors, Chinese, Pre-Calculus, Chemistry honors, and AP European history. You can probably already see the disaster- I haven't even brought up extracurriculars yet.
I started to notice that I had trouble paying attention to tasks in around 7th grade: the time where demands increased and I began menstruating (I read somewhere that the hormonal changes involved can cause symptoms of ADHD to worsen significantly in females). But even before then I've had difficulty with starting on and completing homework. I have vivid memories of throwing tantrums in second and third grade because my parents tried to make me do my writing assignments when I wasn't in the mood, and therefore unable to focus on them. Apparently they took my classmates about half an hour to complete. I, on the other hand, always spent about two hours on them because I'd pick up random things on the table and start to play with them rather than finishing my assignment. And really random things too. Napkins, the napkin holder, an eraser, you name it, I'd figure out some way to fiddle with it. In fourth and fifth grade I was placed in the advanced math classes, where I frequently doodled in my notebook, skipped homework problems, or forgot to bring homework to school or my textbook home. My mom, to this day, still reminds me of the many trips she was forced to make to get my stuff after school when I realized I'd forgotten it. I think the janitors still know me. Despite this, (I feel arrogant saying this) I suppose my intelligence allowed me to get through alright, all the way up until seventh grade. In seventh grade I began to really notice how distracted I got when doing my homework. The average classmate taking the same classes as me took about an hour and a half to finish their homework, while it took me four as I dawdled and played with objects on the table or simply stared blankly at the page while my mind raced with thoughts. I also began to notice that I was very impatient in social situations, practically bursting to say what was on my mind every time I conversed with a friend. I jumped from topic to topic without a pause and once I started talking it was difficult to break the flow.
Eighth grade was especially horrible because my language arts teacher was the kind of teacher who would assign something, say it was due in two days, and not collect it until three weeks later. Naturally, I lost most of the assignments before she collected them and ended up barely passing with a 71% second semester. My procrastinating also got a lot worse- I prefer to do things all at once rather than in chunks, and I would simply refuse to break up a 3 hour project into six half hour work periods. Consequently I spent many nights up late completing them in a flurry of activity once I finally found the motivation to.
High school has been even more difficult. Last year I took all honors classes with the exception of PE, and struggled to pay attention and turn in homework. My social skills eroded and my ability to work on group projects became virtually non-existent: I always had to have my way (possibly out of arrogance because I believe myself to be more intelligent than most people my age) and would constantly interrupt people to make my thoughts heard. My friends sometimes make jokes about how I jump topics in conversation. One second I'll be talking about chemistry and two seconds later I'll say "oh that reminds me of this time my mom was playing Farmville" and once I'm done with that thought I'll somehow link it to something completely unrelated. I also interrupt people with these random thoughts, and usually get weird looks because it's completely unrelated to what they're talking about (in their minds).
I was also recently diagnosed with depression, which may be a contributing factor to my inability to concentrate, but even before that I've had problems. This year I find myself daydreaming and doodling and writing poetry in my journal during class, and I don't think I've paid any attention to one of my math classes in a month. I just have a constant flow of thoughts in my head that keeps distracting me from what I want to do, and often will sit there entertaining said thoughts rather than focusing on the task at hand.
When I brought some of these concerns up to my therapist who's treating me for depression (Since I believe that this may be a cause of my depression) she told me that I'm just a very bright student who's not trying hard enough to focus. She said something to the effect that nobody likes doing tedious work, but it has to be done and there is no way around it, and that I can focus if I really want to. However, she said this in an almost dismissive way after only hearing about my homework habits and not anything else, which sort of angered me because it's been a pretty big concern of mine since eighth grade and she didn't even bother to listen to everything else.
I'm the type of person with a ton of different interests and projects going on all at once, but none of them are complete. I have a novel that has three chapters written and has been sitting there for nearly a year without any editing on it, a half-written short story, several incomplete knitting and crocheting projects, and several other hopelessly ambitious endeavors that will never be finished.
I know I'm smart and should be getting straight A's, but my homework grades drag them down and an A test average can only do so much. Not to mention my participation grade- I tend to space out a lot during class. So my question is, do these sound like ADHD/ADD or am I just some lazy, ditzy, random, daydreaming girl?

[FooZe]

Hi, quasar2He4, welcome to Psych Central!

Originally Posted by quasar2He4

So my question is, do these sound like ADHD/ADD or am I just some lazy, ditzy, random, daydreaming girl?

Another strong possibility would be "none of the above". You may or may not have ADHD/ADD but even if you get officially diagnosed with it, I hope you won't let the diagnosis distract you from continuing to look at and sort out what's going on for you.

You mentioned in another thread feeling guilty about being depressed -- or rather, about being depressed without a good enough excuse. I'd like to see you focus first on getting to the other side of your depression and only second, if at all, on whether somebody else would say you were entitled to feel depressed. Likewise here, if you keep finding yourself avoiding schoolwork, I'd like to see you focus first on what that's about for you and only second, if at all, on whether someone might decide you were "just some lazy, ditzy, random, daydreaming girl".

Originally Posted by quasar2He4

She said something to the effect that nobody likes doing tedious work, but it has to be done and there is no way around it, and that I can focus if I really want to.

She seems to be saying that you don't want to do the work because it's tedious (but that you should make yourself do it anyway). I guess I'm kind of a weirdo about things like that, but I'm used to looking at it the other way around. If I find something tedious, that's because I'd rather be doing something else instead. As soon as I discover that I really do want to do that thing I was finding tedious, it stops being tedious. Alternatively, I may discover that I really don't want to do that particular thing -- so I stop doing it.

Once upon a time I was in school and for the most part, didn't enjoy it. I especially didn't like writing papers. I felt as if I had nothing to say, so my assignment had to be to say nothing skillfully enough to get a good grade. Later on I was sometimes surprised to find there were things I really did want to write about, and those papers turned out to be fun to write. I don't know if I would ever have gotten to that point, though, without first struggling through all the other papers I hadn't wanted to write.

By the time I finished college, I knew I didn't like writing against deadlines. I also knew I was preparing for a career where I'd be doing a lot of writing against deadlines. I finally resolved that problem by switching to a career where I didn't have to write unless I felt like it.

I wish you the best of luck working out your issues with school, and I do hope you'll learn to go a little easier on yourself.

[cbdagency]

I have ADHD (predominantly innatentive) and I write multipage emails and posts that most people just wont read, just like you. Dont stress though, we are just different. We are big picture people. Try to find some way to calm your mind. Try yoga or meditation;~)