[lavendersage]

For years, years when I've had a major project to tackle (balancing my checking accounts, doing taxes, going through, organizing and filing a large amount of paperwork, reviewing a new employers gigunda benefits portfolio from which I have to make my choices, etc.); I've often asked a boyfriend or, if I didn't have one at the time, a friend if they'd come over while I do it.

I make it clear that I'm not asking for nor wanting their help. In fact I encourage them to bring a book or any project that they may want to work on of their own while I work on mine. I stress its not about us hanging out talking. I'd just appreciate it if they were there. They always look at me like, "Well, wtf do you want/need me there for if it's not necessarily to chat a whole lot?"

Sometimes I've had people who have agreed and have come over. I always seem to do best at whatever it is I'm working on when that's happened.

I'm not sure why though.

It's almost like they're the calm, grounded force in the room and I absorb some of that calm, focused attention and apply it towards whatever I'm working on.

Does that make sense? Has anybody else ever done something similar?

[kanasi]

I can't really use this technique myself but I've seen exactly what you're describing come up a lot in ADDers' discussions about ways to make it easier to concentrate.

[xiare]

Do you think that might be about anxiety, instead?

I've never done that, but it's a really good idea!

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by lavendersage

For years, years when I've had a major project to tackle (balancing my checking accounts, doing taxes, going through, organizing and filing a large amount of paperwork, reviewing a new employers gigunda benefits portfolio from which I have to make my choices, etc.); I've often asked a boyfriend or, if I didn't have one at the time, a friend if they'd come over while I do it.

I make it clear that I'm not asking for nor wanting their help. In fact I encourage them to bring a book or any project that they may want to work on of their own while I work on mine. I stress its not about us hanging out talking. I'd just appreciate it if they were there. They always look at me like, "Well, wtf do you want/need me there for if it's not necessarily to chat a whole lot?"

Sometimes I've had people who have agreed and have come over. I always seem to do best at whatever it is I'm working on when that's happened.

I'm not sure why though.

It's almost like they're the calm, grounded force in the room and I absorb some of that calm, focused attention and apply it towards whatever I'm working on.

Does that make sense? Has anybody else ever done something similar?

I heard this technique before. I heard it is so that the person can be reminded to go back to task and stuff. If it helps you, that's good. Maybe also the company?

[lavendersage]

Might be due to anxiety - never thought about the why - just had a gut feeling to ask someone to come over because I knew (without thinking about they "why") that it would help. So, maybe?

Having the company is nice but after considering it, that isn't my main motivator for asking.

Nor do I ask them to steer me back to task. Truthfully, I just like their quiet prescence.

[Diva4]

I can relate but it's a negative with me. My boyfriend lives with me.. and we both work from home (for the same organization) however we do have a few different side jobs.

I get MAJORLY irritated when I see/hear him typing furiously on his laptop - It means he's accomplishing something, while I sit there and cannot get myself motivated to even start something.

I have yet to talk to my primary care doctor (appointment in a couple of weeks) but I'm learning SO much about ADD and the related problems after recently finding out it's a huge factor in my family.