[Nike007]

Hello. As people from this forum should already know, I am not diagnosed with AD/HD because I am smart and smart people can't have AD/HD according to everyone I know basically.

Anyways, lately, when people and my teachers talk about important things, I tend to zone out. Like, they will be going on about something and my mind is gone. I feel like I may be missing important things because I'm so zoned out, but I manage to pull through it all the time.

I know though that I have to use the word "pardon" or "excuse me" a bunch of times to understand what the person just said.

I'm sure most, if not all, people from here have experienced this. It's super annoying. I just want to have a conversation and show i care about my friends and what to say.

What should I do to prove I'm not ignoring them on purpose? Thanks .

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[kanasi]

I used to do that a lot when I was younger. (Now I can't NOT listen to people talk, including TVs, and I absolutely hate it-- I literally have to isolate myself from others and wear noise blocking headphones to find some peace.) To answer your question, maybe as soon as you realize you lost track of what people were saying, you can ask them to clarify/repeat from the last thing you heard? It's like a reflex for me because I have this weird obsession with not missing a word of speech.

Depending on the severity and type of symptoms people have, a lot of folks with ADHD seem to develop a skill for predicting/piecing together things people are about to say or just said. I don't know how but I seem to have that going on overdrive, myself. I have to hold myself back from reacting to things people haven't even said yet. I've also laughed at punchlines to jokes in movies before the actors said them out loud. (It's awkward being the only one laughing in a movie theatre.) I bring this up because my thought process seems to constantly be "scanning" for things said and *piecing together* the person's angle + where they're probably taking that line of thinking. When I first started doing this I had a terrible habit of being one of those people who "waits to speak" instead of listening, but now I seem to do both (with more emphasis on the listening), yet it is an entirely involuntary and uncontrolled thing that I can't really shut off.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by kanasi

I used to do that a lot when I was younger. (Now I can't NOT listen to people talk, including TVs, and I absolutely hate it-- I literally have to isolate myself from others and wear noise blocking headphones to find some peace.) To answer your question, maybe as soon as you realize you lost track of what people were saying, you can ask them to clarify/repeat from the last thing you heard? It's like a reflex for me because I have this weird obsession with not missing a word of speech.

Depending on the severity and type of symptoms people have, a lot of folks with ADHD seem to develop a skill for predicting/piecing together things people are about to say or just said. I don't know how but I seem to have that going on overdrive, myself. I have to hold myself back from reacting to things people haven't even said yet. I've also laughed at punchlines to jokes in movies before the actors said them out loud. (It's awkward being the only one laughing in a movie theatre.) I bring this up because my thought process seems to constantly be "scanning" for things said and *piecing together* the person's angle + where they're probably taking that line of thinking. When I first started doing this I had a terrible habit of being one of those people who "waits to speak" instead of listening, but now I seem to do both (with more emphasis on the listening), yet it is an entirely involuntary and uncontrolled thing that I can't really shut off.

I want to just say "can you repeat yourself" but I feel embarrassed asking every other sentence. I zone out so much lately. I mean, I did before, just the past year or so has been worse.

I do scan for things happening in my surroundings and to piece together what's going to having or what is going to be said exactly.

Thanks for the response .

[Crag22]

You are not alone in this. These zone outs make it hard to concentrate and all of a sudden you realize the teacher just gave an assignment two seconds ago and you don't know what they just said. Don't be afraid to ask for repeats! It will get easier with time.

[kanasi]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I want to just say "can you repeat yourself" but I feel embarrassed asking every other sentence. I zone out so much lately. I mean, I did before, just the past year or so has been worse.

I do scan for things happening in my surroundings and to piece together what's going to having or what is going to be said exactly.

Thanks for the response .

No problem.

If you feel up to fighting the zone outs (but it's also okay if you don't since you might want to save that energy for something else!), then go ahead and mirror/repeat back whatever you can from what the person is saying. Every time they finish a part of what they said, repeat it back to them in your own words (AKA practising "active listening"). You might not be able to do it a lot at first, but it could be a habit that grows with time, and I don't know about you but repeating things out loud makes it easier for me to remember them. (If the zone outs come to soon for you to do this then that's okay too. Just thought I'd throw it out there.)

For right now, if it's someone you know at least a little, post-zone out could be a good opportunity to embrace your vulnerability and say something like "I'm sorry I have trouble paying attention sometimes. If they know you enough to at least be able to tell you wouldn't intentionally be mean/rude to others, you'd be surprised how people can often give the benefit of the doubt. (At least I find this works well with acquaintances I see on a regular basis, when I have to tell them I have a bad memory and forget things or get distracted a lot. They just kind of accept it and move on, no big deal. If you explain it in a general way but also make it clear it's not them and you're not doing it on purpose, hopefully they'll get that you mean well.)

Originally Posted by Crag22

You are not alone in this. These zone outs make it hard to concentrate and all of a sudden you realize the teacher just gave an assignment two seconds ago and you don't know what they just said. Don't be afraid to ask for repeats! It will get easier with time.

I wholeheartedly second this!

[lindaR071]

Originally Posted by Nike007

Hello. As people from this forum should already know, I am not diagnosed with AD/HD because I am smart and smart people can't have AD/HD according to everyone I know basically.

Anyways, lately, when people and my teachers talk about important things, I tend to zone out. Like, they will be going on about something and my mind is gone. I feel like I may be missing important things because I'm so zoned out, but I manage to pull through it all the time.

I know though that I have to use the word "pardon" or "excuse me" a bunch of times to understand what the person just said.

I'm sure most, if not all, people from here have experienced this. It's super annoying. I just want to have a conversation and show i care about my friends and what to say.

What should I do to prove I'm not ignoring them on purpose? Thanks .

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk

If they are true friends they will be patient and understand that have some trouble staying focused. It doesn matter what anybody else thinks.

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[Nike007]

Originally Posted by lindaR071

If they are true friends they will be patient and understand that have some trouble staying focused. It doesn matter what anybody else thinks.

Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk

Thanks. My friends are patient and they know I have trouble staying focused. I remind them that sometimes I do stuff not on purpose though, to make sure they remember. Thanks for the response .

[unbreakablej]

Originally Posted by kanasi

Depending on the severity and type of symptoms people have, a lot of folks with ADHD seem to develop a skill for predicting/piecing together things people are about to say or just said. I don't know how but I seem to have that going on overdrive, myself. I have to hold myself back from reacting to things people haven't even said yet. I've also laughed at punchlines to jokes in movies before the actors said them out loud. (It's awkward being the only one laughing in a movie theatre.) I bring this up because my thought process seems to constantly be "scanning" for things said and *piecing together* the person's angle + where they're probably taking that line of thinking. When I first started doing this I had a terrible habit of being one of those people who "waits to speak" instead of listening, but now I seem to do both (with more emphasis on the listening), yet it is an entirely involuntary and uncontrolled thing that I can't really shut off.

What! Is this an ADHD thing? I tend to annoy people by predicting (and saying out loud) what the characters on TV are going to say. I get it right 80% of the time. And being the only one laughing in movie theatres ... that is sooo me as well.

It does take practice to learn how to control yourself (in social situations) and not try to finish people's stories for them (one tend to get impatient). However, if you put your mind to it, I feel - you can turn yourself into a good conversationalist by sliding your comments in such that you make yourself sound like you are realllllllly interested in whatever they are saying and that you're really applying your mind into asking the 'right' questions and making on the mark comments.

[unbreakablej]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I want to just say "can you repeat yourself" but I feel embarrassed asking every other sentence. I zone out so much lately. I mean, I did before, just the past year or so has been worse.

I do scan for things happening in my surroundings and to piece together what's going to having or what is going to be said exactly.

Thanks for the response .

That actually becomes a skill eventually. I used to be able to sleep in class, and wake up when being asked a question, and give a reasonably (not necessary spot on correct but) relevant answer.

I hardly ask people to repeat themselves. Sometimes I just act stupid and go "Sorry, I don't understand what you mean. What has [keyword you rem] and [another keyword you rem]....How do they ... [trail off]." or, "So are you saying that, sorry.. trying to formulate my thoughts ... [fake thinking for a few seconds]. Sorry, can you just explain yourself again I am trying to get my thoughts around it."

Of course, only when you know some 'high level' conversation has just taken place. Not when someone is telling you about their trip, in which case, I'd rather not have them repeat themselves. Just smile and go, 'cool. Im so jealous'.

[TishaBuv]

Hi Nike007,
In the U.S. the schools have Gifted programs. The kids in them all have high IQ's and many of the kids have also been diagnosed with ADHD.

When I was growing up, we didn't have a diagnosis of ADHD (they just called us BAD ;-) I suspect I have it, my sister and my mom have it and grandpa had it. We have so many traits of it, but no doctor has ever agreed by diagnosing me when I ask them if they think I have it. Yes, I spent much time in class zoned out. The reason I thought I did it was because I frankly was not interested in what the teacher was saying and I went off in thought to something that I would rather entertain myself with.

My youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD. He told me he zones out in class. I asked him 'Where do you go?'. He couldn't really say.

So, yes, I do think it's a symptom of ADHD.

I never really thought about it, but maybe I do zone out sometimes when people are talking to me. I make myself look like I am listening, but I'm really not. They've never called me on it. Yikes.

[avlady]

i remember in grammer school, i was the smartest one in my class, and i got great grades. after i began high school, i don't know what happened but i just couldn't think like used to. in college i was a C student only a few As and Bs. i still son't know if its the schitzophrenia, bipolar etc, i've had several diagnosis. maybe i do have ADHD i was also in accident with head injuries too. i have sleep apnea too and had a neurological test showing my brain waves were slow. i'm not sure what this could be. any suggesstions?

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by kanasi

No problem.

If you feel up to fighting the zone outs (but it's also okay if you don't since you might want to save that energy for something else!), then go ahead and mirror/repeat back whatever you can from what the person is saying. Every time they finish a part of what they said, repeat it back to them in your own words (AKA practising "active listening"). You might not be able to do it a lot at first, but it could be a habit that grows with time, and I don't know about you but repeating things out loud makes it easier for me to remember them. (If the zone outs come to soon for you to do this then that's okay too. Just thought I'd throw it out there.)

For right now, if it's someone you know at least a little, post-zone out could be a good opportunity to embrace your vulnerability and say something like "I'm sorry I have trouble paying attention sometimes. If they know you enough to at least be able to tell you wouldn't intentionally be mean/rude to others, you'd be surprised how people can often give the benefit of the doubt. (At least I find this works well with acquaintances I see on a regular basis, when I have to tell them I have a bad memory and forget things or get distracted a lot. They just kind of accept it and move on, no big deal. If you explain it in a general way but also make it clear it's not them and you're not doing it on purpose, hopefully they'll get that you mean well.)

I wholeheartedly second this!

I have heard of active listening before. I think I might try that.

That's also interesting. I may try that too. I know my friends know (well at least one of them) knows that I might have AD/HD - inattentive, but.

Thanks for the response .

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by unbreakablej

That actually becomes a skill eventually. I used to be able to sleep in class, and wake up when being asked a question, and give a reasonably (not necessary spot on correct but) relevant answer.

I hardly ask people to repeat themselves. Sometimes I just act stupid and go "Sorry, I don't understand what you mean. What has [keyword you rem] and [another keyword you rem]....How do they ... [trail off]." or, "So are you saying that, sorry.. trying to formulate my thoughts ... [fake thinking for a few seconds]. Sorry, can you just explain yourself again I am trying to get my thoughts around it."

Of course, only when you know some 'high level' conversation has just taken place. Not when someone is telling you about their trip, in which case, I'd rather not have them repeat themselves. Just smile and go, 'cool. Im so jealous'.

I usually get the answer right, but when I don't, I feel really embarrassed.

That's good for you. I would do that if I had more confidence in myself, along with no social anxiety.

That is also true. Thanks for the response .

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Hi Nike007,
In the U.S. the schools have Gifted programs. The kids in them all have high IQ's and many of the kids have also been diagnosed with ADHD.

When I was growing up, we didn't have a diagnosis of ADHD (they just called us BAD ;-) I suspect I have it, my sister and my mom have it and grandpa had it. We have so many traits of it, but no doctor has ever agreed by diagnosing me when I ask them if they think I have it. Yes, I spent much time in class zoned out. The reason I thought I did it was because I frankly was not interested in what the teacher was saying and I went off in thought to something that I would rather entertain myself with.

My youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD. He told me he zones out in class. I asked him 'Where do you go?'. He couldn't really say.

So, yes, I do think it's a symptom of ADHD.

I never really thought about it, but maybe I do zone out sometimes when people are talking to me. I make myself look like I am listening, but I'm really not. They've never called me on it. Yikes.

Hello. Many schools in Canada also have the gifted program. My brother goes to one. I have read though that many people think that you can't be gifted and AD/HD at the same time, especially since many people who are gifted are inattentive due to boredom, hyperactive, and impulsive.

I know that usually when a parents' son gets diagnosed with AD/HD, a lot of parents realize that they do the same thing, and then get diagnosed with AD/HD like immediately after.

Thanks for the response .

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by avlady

i remember in grammer school, i was the smartest one in my class, and i got great grades. after i began high school, i don't know what happened but i just couldn't think like used to. in college i was a C student only a few As and Bs. i still son't know if its the schitzophrenia, bipolar etc, i've had several diagnosis. maybe i do have ADHD i was also in accident with head injuries too. i have sleep apnea too and had a neurological test showing my brain waves were slow. i'm not sure what this could be. any suggesstions?

I do get good grades. My marks have been dropping this year. Everyone says "try harder", but I have no motivation to try harder. I don't have any short-term goals with it.

I also know that head injuries can trigger AD/HD.

If you suspect AD/HD, I'd suggest to go to your doctor and bring up AD/HD. This may help you. Hope this helps .

[TishaBuv]

I went on line to do something else, my browser opened up to this page because it was where I was last, I saw your widget for the ADD quiz link-- got distracted-- and took the quiz... that's ADD in itself, ha! My results were a 33, nearly the maximum for ADD/ADHD.

Interestingly, I want to add, when I have asked doctors about my having ADD. They don't even respond to me... seriously. Maybe THEY have ADD?

I am going to discuss this again with my doctor. I am having such a hard time with a few issues in my life. If there are legitimate mental issues that can be treated, or at least recognized, maybe I can improve my quality of life.

Thanks for bringing my attention to this attention disorder.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I went on line to do something else, my browser opened up to this page because it was where I was last, I saw your widget for the ADD quiz link-- got distracted-- and took the quiz... that's ADD in itself, ha! My results were a 33, nearly the maximum for ADD/ADHD.


Interestingly, I want to add, when I have asked doctors about my having ADD. They don't even respond to me... seriously. Maybe THEY have ADD?


I am going to discuss this again with my doctor. I am having such a hard time with a few issues in my life. If there are legitimate mental issues that can be treated, or at least recognized, maybe I can improve my quality of life.


Thanks for bringing my attention to this attention disorder.

Nice. That seems like something I would do too lol.

Why wouldn't they respond to you? That seems dumb. I would at least respond. Even if it was a no.

Discuss it again. I am going to discuss it with my doctor too. My pdoc doesn't see it but I am starting to crash.

You're welcome. Hope you figure out what's going on .

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[bufferlo]

In college it was worse, because in those big classes with 10 times more students than you ever had to share a room with back in high school. It's not as daunting when you have to interrupt a teacher that knows your, and everyone else's in the classroom, name, but you don't have that luxury in college/university.