[PippaIsAlone]

Have you ever felt like everything you did was wrong? Like, somehow you just messed everything up?

Backstory: I'm so stressed. I just got diagnosed yesterday, I'm 20 and my mother and I got into a huge fight where her husband (my stepfather) shoved me against the door. My sisters (all three of them) are convinced that my mother is a narcissist. I've grown to agree with them. It's hard when your mother is obsessed with prestige and yet here you are and the only thing you're good at is art. You're an idiot. You actually really believe it sometimes. It is so hard to have a conversation sometimes because I can't think about what's being said. I've been told I'm a wool picker for some long. That all I do is space out and irritate people. I was diagnosed with bipolar and borderline by two psychologists who had ONLY seen me twice each. Now I've been seeing this psychiatrist for a year and he's been quite quiet and hasn't given me a diagnosis until yesterday. He said he was very sure. Almost 100%. He ruled out the BPD and BD. It was a bit of a relief. I really got it. But now I'm dealing with an abusive family, and I'm trying so hard to focus on my school work but I can't. It's so hard. My psychiatrist wants me to pick up my prescription on Friday I have a paper due today at 5pm. All I can think about is everything. Honestly. I think about EVERYTHING, except the important stuff and the fact that I'm sitting on my desk trying to write an essay whilst shaking nervously because I know I'm going to get beaten up if I mess up again. It's so hard. All the pressure is so hard. I feel so useless and stupid. I really want to amount to something but I just can't think. I can't even spend more than 5minutes talking to someone because it just doesn't hold my interest. And being told to "chill", "focus", "try harder", ect. Is hell. Because I AM. I just feel like I'll have an outburst if someone tries to tell me to "FOCUS" one more time.

TL;DR: Have you ever gotten to the point where you just couldn't cope with life? Like even the most simple thing was excruciatingly hard to do? Something like making a cup of tea feels like it'll take it out of you, waiting for the kettle to boil, making the tea, ect. I feel so ridiculous.

[TishaBuv]

I wonder how you would feel if you moved out of your parent's house and stopped taking the meds. Diagnosing these mental health issues sure seems sketchy.

[avlady]

i feel this way every day. i was diagnosed with schitzoaffective, bipolar and depression. that was years ago. the only way i can get by every day is by taking my meds. i used to be reluctant to take them but learned the hard way that i needed them. i hope you can get better as you have your whole life ahead of you. good luck