[SWADHD]

Hi Everyone!
I'm looking for insight about when to disclose an ADHD diagnosis. I understand everyone and every relationship is different, but it's been really difficult for me. I haven't been able to keep a relationship longer than a month or two in forever. I don't have trouble keeping friends, and I even think they enjoy the randomness that comes with ADHD. But the lack of holding a relationship really gets me down sometimes. It only feeds the notion in my head that I do everything wrong that I can't get rid of.
I am starting to believe that being completely up front about it is the way to go, but then my mind starts thinking, why would anyone want to deal with that??? Does anyone have any success or failure stories? I know there is not one right or wrong answer to the question, but I'd appreciate a story or two!
Thanks!

[LacunaCoiler]

I don't really have an answer to that because it really does depend on the person and the relationship. I've always suffered from ADHD and bipolar but never had a real reason to explain my symptoms when I first my gf. I had already been with my gf for 5 years (we've been together for 10 years and will be married in April) before she gave me the whole "go see someone or I'm leaving" thing and when I went I was diagnosed with Bipolar and it wasn't until this year that i got the ADHD diagnosis. So we have somehow made it work and she has been supportive and as long as I'm seeking help (pdoc & therapy) she's learned to deal with and help me with the aspects of it.

It wasn't so much advice, but I did want you to know that relationships and mental illnesses can happen and are possible. I would feel out the other person and y'alls relationship to find the right time to talk about your mental illness. Best of luck.

[Miswimmy1]

Personally, I would explore what about the ADHD is making it hard to keep your relationships, and work on those things. I am a cautious person when it comes to disclosing my mental disorders. I think it's very important to get to know the person well enough to feel comfortable disclosing that part of you. I believe that if the person has feelings for you, then they will first and foremost want to be supportive. But it would be worth figuring out why you struggle in long-term relationships so that you can explain to the person that you are actively working on your weak points, to show that you are committed to making the relationship work, all issues aside.