[CarmenMCL]

I am a stay at home mom and my two year old usually does fine when we are at home. She outgoing and a bit of a smart mouth but in a cute way. She is the same way around people we know too but when it comes to meeting new children she shys away and refuses to play. Instead she wants mommy and comes and hides behinds my legs. I have very severe social difucntions too. Could I possibly be transfering these onto my child or is she just being a normal two year old? My oldest was never like this. He was always out there making friends and doing things with the other kids but not her. She claims she is to scared and I don't want to force her but I need some time apart too. Please any response would be helpful.
Carmen

[deepthinker]

Okay here goes. I'm not a mother so don't quote me or use this in a book BUT... where I live I am surrounded by little kids. One of my neighbours has a soon to be 4 year old and also a soon to be 2 year old. The 4 year old is always out going. Waves to stranges going past, says hello to anyone and anything that happens to move. Always willing to give something a go BUT her younger sister is a lot different. Put her in a group of new people and she will stand still like a statue, until her sister pushes her along (I think this is called encouragement,hehe) and then she gets out there and gives it a go.

I don't think you have 'given' your little one anything. Of course children and adults can 'pick up' on your behaviour, just like our furry little friends, but it doesn't mean they will mimic this behaviour. I just think your little one is a bit shy. Nothing wrong with that. If she's 16 and still runs between your legs, then I'd start to worry.

Most of us are a little un-easy in new situations, even myself. I think its normal to fear something your not sure of or if its new. Don't fret. Perhaps encourage her that everything is safe and she should just enjoy herself. Being couragous and outgoing doesn't normally happen over-night.

Take care
*hugs*

[jsc1972]

all children are different. you have to find what works for her. maybe she is just "slow to warm up" around others. try role-playing with her with dolls. pretend you are a new girl at school and your daughter her classmate who can share with her many new things. i think many social skills can be taught with playing with barbies or dolls...just make it fun. she may still be shy around others, but at least if she wanted to talk to some other kid, she wouldn't be speechless. she would remember phrases you said to introduce and get to know someone new, from the games you played with her with the dolls.
also, playing with the dolls you could help teach her about diversities, handy-caps of others, religions, illnesses. maybe you could help reduce any fear she may have around people who are different than her.

my problem as a kid was thinking i was different than others and it was a bad thing or they were bad because they were different. it would of helped me a lot to learn early in life that differences are beautiful.

<font color=purple> But a stranger in a strange land, he is no one:
men know him not and to know not is to care not for.
Bram Stoker, Dracula, 1897 </font color=purple>

[Dias]

yes all are different and all beautiful too