I think I have ADHD or something similar.

Also, there is one other thing that I forgot to mention. There is a reason why I am so obsessed with making money without working a regular job.

The reason is simply because it is hard for me to hold down a stable job for more than 6-12 months. Jobs are straight up triggering for me. There are times when I would cry like a baby or scream when I have to get up and go to work. The only reason why I have held out at my student job as long as I have is because they don't have a lot of expectations of me as a student employee and they let me take off time for anything "school" related as long as I email them ahead of time. When my mental health is at a low point I just make up some B.S about how I have a big test or homework project I need to study for and they believe me and let me take time off.

I have to be like this. I don't see how the mental health system will help me function at a job even if I want to and I can't guarantee that I won't be back where I was three years ago (chronically homeless mind you) after I finish school since even getting a job at ****ing Walmart is an overwhelming struggle. If I can't manage entry level jobs, what employer would want to pay me $40k or more a year to build them web sites? And I am to get on disability and make a measly $700 a month? How the hell am I supposed to live off that?


I intend on building my own web sites and webstores and I have a childhood friend that does something similar where he builds and monetizes web sites and sells cheap Chinese goods on his web site (known as dropshipping) and makes a 6 figure salary with about 10 hours of work per week. He maintains around 5 websites (a mix of dropship stores and blogs/fansites monetized by CPA/Internet marketing schemes) and hires people to do all the work he hates doing so he can enjoy life. He's barely over 30 and a self made millionaire despite having a **** childhood much like myself. If he can do it I can too.

Ultimately, if I have to lie, cheat, or steal to survive I am willing to do so because nobody has given me the help that I need when I needed it the most. History repeats itself as they say and history so far has shown me that when I try to depend on the mental health system or the government than I am asking for more pain and heartbreak. I just want to survive like everybody else I don't want to hurt anybody but it's clear I might be forced to hurt others to survive if it comes to that. I want to live and be happy but the universe clearly doesn't want me to be happy and free.

Drop shipping - Wikipedia

I hesitated posting this link for you because I didnt want you to think I was pooping on your ideas or that your friend has any reason to take advantage of you. But I had never heard of drop shipping and was curious. I am a very avid reader so I read some more. I fear you will get swindled one way or another. The scam possibilities are very lucrative and luring with this type of thing. The people that perpetrate this scheme target their victims with pin point accuracy. Their victims are usually smart, intelligent people who are not gullible. It may not even be your friend, your friend could be getting scammed too and thinking he is sharing a great thing with a friend. Over and over I read how the profit margin was slim to none whether you were scammed or actually tried to do it legit. Unless you carve out an exclusive niche with hard to get products its very hard to make money this way. There are heavy legal ties to bear too. Its largely unregulated which makes it seem "safe" from peering government eyes but the fallout in other ways makes up for it. Hacking your personal accounts, identity theft, malicious software, illegal and unsafe products- all of those things are associated with dropshipping. I know there are legit businesses, there always are but they are few and far between and many times you have to go from person to person up the chain to even find the origional scammer. Maybe I am wrong but a lot of what I read sounded true and it wasnt just wikipedia. I know you think no one cares about you, well I care if people are taken advantage of and wanted to let you know.

Yes, I don't think it is right to scam other people.

When you say the mental health system has failed you before, what exactly do you mean? Have you tried medication and it didn't work? Have you had a bad therapist? Some therapists are not good, but it seems like you have PTSD from your childhood, and a good therapist might be able to help.

I am a self taught computer hacker. Do you really think I don't know of all the scams out there? Fact of the matter I was planning on being a fraudster at one point of my life because I was well convinced that I could buy my way out of my problems with money.

And Wikipedia isn't accurate. Oh and that friend showed me proof of his earnings. I knew said friend since I was 7 he's one of the last people that would go out of his way to lie to me. Also I have had success with dropshipping myself (all though selling products on eBay as a powerseller instead of my own web store) and was making a steady 4 grand per month in profits but eBay suspended my account solely because I posted too many products in such a short time. They don't like it when you post 500 products in 1 week after having a history of only selling 5-10 per week. Lesson learned.

The scams you are referring to are largely middleman scams and random people offering to "sell" their crap advice/goods on the internet. I know how to spot and avoid both.

But alas, us arguing about this will benefit nobody. I'm not one to listen to people's advice when I set my mind on something and you shouldn't have to waste your energy on me so lets see who is right based on my actions alone.

I was literally trying to be kind. *Lesson learned.

I feel like you misunderstand the context of my post.

It doesn't matter how good or bad the mental health system is. It's a fact that I have trouble finding and holding down a regular job. I have trouble taking care of my basic needs. Even going to the grocery store or doing my laundry feels like fighting a war. I can't even drive a ****ing car because of my anxiety issues. What would be the one thing that would help me live an easier and more comfortable life? You guessed it. Money! Being able to make a comfortable living with less than 25 hours of work per week would improve my quality of life tenfold.

I am sorry but I don't see the system helping me get over all my issues in a reasonable amount of time. Even if it could, how am I supposed to take care of my basic needs? How am I supposed to eat? Pay my rent? Don't even tell me disability is a solution because there is no way I am quitting my part time student job and dropping out of school to meet their lousy criteria just to not have any way to take care of myself for months or years while I wait on their slow asses only to get a crappy $700-800 that is barely enough to pay my living expenses.

If you want to know how or why the system has failed me, read my other posts. A post on the 3rd page of that recent thread titled "I don't belong here" that I made in the relationships forum will give you some ideas. I am tired of typing.

So am I.

I just find it offensive when people try to tell me they know more on a subject that I have researched/participated in for years because they read an article on Wikipedia.

I wouldn't try to act like I know more than you about something you are experienced in. Please show me the same respect.

Saying this as nicely as I can I don't wish to argue with anybody.

honestly, I prefer a movie more like momento, but I have not seen limitless. sorry to hear that you are struggling so greatly with ADHD, time management, and our health care system alone in general, but it seems you have made your decision to not seek medication for this problem. What about what sarahsweets suggests, talking through, your dilemma with an open minded professional? Talk therapy isn't for me right now, but in the past, has helped me greatly. I encourage you to reconsider what ss has suggested

Because it's too stressful walking or riding the bus in cold weather to get to the mental health center for an intake when they want me there at 8AM and waiting in a lobby for a few hours dying from boredom only to possibly not get what I'm looking for.

I might consider it when the weather warms up but I hate mornings and I hate the cold so not doing it now.

Sounds to me like now is not the best time in your life for all that travel and added stress. What about taking that time for yourself to do something for yourself that you wouldn't normally do for yourself?

I've been doing that all week. Was having a good time getting more gaming in this week. Was in a good mood until I logged on here and saw Sarasweet's post on my thread here and now I feel like **** again.

Thanks though for being supportive of me in a gentler way. I think that's what I need more of right now.

womp, womp, womp. yeah, why is she getting to you like that? np, I can relate to much of what you are going through. I'm constantly looking for ways to pass the time and I have been spending an odd amount of time here at PC. Much of what is said here makes for good conversation and life skills and all that. I could probably benefit from my own advice, and working through issues has helped me slow down and refocus

IDK.. I just felt attacked by her for some reason and reacted in kind. I sent her an apology message but she probably hates me like most everyone else so it's w/e at this point lol

I don't think you owe an apology.

Personally I never do anything without looking into it pretty hard and it is irksome and frustrating to me when people assume that I haven't looked into it myself. When people say they are being "kind" they aren't always. To me there is such a desire to be right that often people have to try to tear your dreams down so they can be "right".

I have an issue with my body where I am overweight. I literally get up daily looking every single day for a solution. I have spent money, taken drugs, left NO stone unturned and attempted at least 1000 things. I am on attempt 1001 and I refuse to believe that I will not find the problem. However, at least 50% of my energy is spent with "naysayers" who will flippantly say things like, calories in calories out, or have you tried exercising or, a million other things that implicitly assume I haven't done even the slightest effort on it. It can really put me in a sour mood and quite possibly has actually held me back.

Ain't that the truth. You're better at explaining it than me


It's cute she thinks she knows more than a friend with a genius level IQ that got into the cyber security part of the air force before he was old enough to drink and then after leaving the military, joined a cheap community college, lived off Pell grant money, and invested his GI funds into an online business and made himself into a millionaire in less than 5 years off his online businesses. This was all done without a college degree and without incurring any debts.

Keep in mind, he actually showed me his bank balance and some of his transaction history as proof when I questioned him about the legitimacy of his businesses.

I'm not about to throw away the one shot I have at a happy life where I can actually finally start healing instead of constantly worrying about my survival.


I digress.


I'm just trying to keep the peace though. Trying not to say something too bad or else I'll probably have a repeat of what happened before I took my last break from here lol

Thanks for your comment. You really know how to cheer me up

But yeah, I'll still consider her advice about the ADHD drugs only because I need every advantage I can get for what comes next. I need to keep my head on straight and I need to be ready for anything.

I will build myself a life where I can be happy and free even if I must claw myself up from the very pits of hell. I will never be free otherwise. No price is too great for victory.

I will be denied no longer.